Being a human

One, Mathematics is the language of nature. Two, Everything around us can be represented and understood through numbers. Three: If you graph the numbers of any system, patterns emerge. Therefore, there are patterns everywhere in nature. Evidence: The cycling of disease epidemics; the wax and wane of caribou populations; sun spot cycles; the rise and fall of the Nile. So, what about the stock market? The universe of numbers that represents the global economy. Millions of hands at work, billions of minds. A vast network, screaming with life. An organism. A natural organism. My hypothesis: Within the stock market, there is a pattern as well...

- Maximillian Cohen, Pi

If the above theory is correct, then I am sure the number of variables is much more higher than number of available algebraic equations of my life. Neither it is able to plot any nice looking pattern nor it is able to provide any solution. Any set of values I have tried, always ended up with complexifying the entire equation even more. Till I was a child, just because of curiosity, I had a wish that someday I would become an astronomer. Our tiny size against this universe has always amazed me. I ran through a few journals, subscribed to a couple of related magazines, even bought a small pen-sized telescope capable of zooming into any shiny thing in the universe by 4X size. More I got into that, more I realized that astronomy is something that needs time, a lot of time, a huge time from your life. The earth is already very slow to move, galaxies are too far that it's hard to notice them move ! People spend years and years in studying them and then they infer that from the perspective of earth, they have moved 0.03^o !

Finally I gave up and minimized the domain to sky. I found fighter pilot career more attractive (and of course it is) and jumped inside the pool of NDA preparations books. I screwed my eye sight and killed every single chance of getting thru. Later, I got into engineering and realized technology is more interesting than science. Science is nothing but turning your hair gray for some two lines principle or formula ! Nor, you can bring anymore revolution in a 0.3 mm diode because it is already designed and the science behind it is saturated. Rather, use existing formulas and build the world, that is technology. Science can not earn you bread, but technology can, that too, in a much easier way. Put technology in the right place n see the magic. So I figured it out that more you can do, more important you are for the world. I picked up one of them and tried to learn everything possible. But that assumption was broken as well. It is never important what you know. What is important is from where to know what you don't know. If you are aware about what you don't know and you are sure about the places where you can know that is more than enough.

So just be a quick learner, and you can fight any challenge at work. But more fun is in being a master of such quick learners whom you can make work for you idea. That works much much faster way. So ultimate way to gain something is; 1) you should know what has to be done, and 2) you should know who can do it. Come up with a right idea, and make idiots work for it. Earn a lot, pay them something and you all are happy. But, is that really what we are supposed to do as human? Just race among each other. Prove yourself better than everyone else? While trying for something, we never analyze if we really want it, or rather need it. We just try thing N, we get bored with it and we try N+1. We keep exploring the world, look for defects and try to fix it. Like it's a noble cause to make the world a better place; just for you. Know the other kind of people, figure out if they are good or not. If not, kill them. I have inherited two different religions. My grandfather was a teacher in a madrasa-cum-school and my grandmother was the principal. They both knew Urdu more than any other language. However, we are Hindu family. I could never notice any differences between both the streams. They all are same, humans, lost humans.

Every kid is born with a set of choices, set of interests, a dream, a dream printed on his DNA structure. As the kid grows, this dream becomes blurred, his DNA pattern turns low resolution image. wiped out by choices, poorly presented forced choices around him. He is burdened with knowledge and knowledge brings him even more choices. Excessive knowledge brings more worries. You know more, you come tho know that there is much you do not know so far. He looses his direction in the jungle of digital emotions, deviating far far away from his actual abilities, actual qualities, actual desires. He tries person X and if doesn't work out, somehow goes to person X+1. Even then he is not satisfied. Stuffs so much of smoke in his lungs that they might just turn into hot air balloons and he can reach such heights; heights beyond his imagination where he can set his mind free, free from all the factors to understand the blurred pattern on his DNA, clearly mapping the exact desires he always wanted.

And then he realizes as a human, what he always wanted. He always had indulged in fantasy of touching a falling raindrop with finger-tip. walk into the woods and shout out loud. Feeling the warmth of sand on a beach with his bare feet. Let the hair groove with soft wind. Feel the sensations in a free fall. Sync his legs with waving spring waters. Stay far far away from everything designed by, mastered by humans. Explore yourself, your inner mindset, inner desires. Listen to the chords played by leaves. Splash hands on semi liquid icy water. Try to understand a newborn baby's smile. Read the stories from quondam eyes. Snaffle the emotions while feelings are exchanged without a word. Capture every non-human aspect of a human. Find the moon right next to you. Let first sun rays tangle with goosebumps in a winter morning. Walk confident on mountains. Look at the universe, and feel proud about even after being so tiny, he is someone who has discovered himself. As a mathematically defined system of equations, the values of variables he stargazed about were never the ones that can offer the best solution of the system, but the ones who can transform the system in a singularity state with nature, with everything non-human around him. either way... i have not even remotely reached that perfect human, not yet.