Spectator Speaks

Reminiscence

2010-12-01T16:02:00.000+05:30

a barren and harnessed beauty,
like a Jehovah maven off from duty,
cedes my bid, has basket thirsty,
needs a day bright, just as inverse to sooty

there she's lost, there she's found,
is devising smiles, or healing the wounds?
reflection of the earth, on water drop lucid,
mums the real-self, those mysterious sounds.

Break the hype, want to shine,
where it started, lets together rewind.
Supplement the spreads, it's all give and take.
Moor is eternal, beyond ceremonious sets of mind

The slowest two seconds

2010-01-06T22:58:00.001+05:30

That familiar face, too familiar to believe it to be in that place, compelled me to pull back the last step to the beginning of another milestone of waiting; which was planned to go through the same moments but in an expected manner. I located those eyes to engage them in an unavoidable eye contact to acknowledge the presence of someone equally familiar, equally close, equally inseparable and equally purposeless in that place without the other half.

I decided to fade my focus from eyes to whole face to capture the reaction of that identity of existence that was holding me in that place. And my vision struggled to chase the end above those mysterious eyes unusually saluted by hair locks indulged in puerility brightened in amateur sunlight that had managed to pass through dusty window hanging right above us; orchestrating a strange and undesirable urge to break that eye-to-eye engagement.

I forced my eyesight; to stop at those lips showcasing a confident grin induced by achievement of virtual victory, gained after a long lasted struggle. The half circles around those two points securing the best expression ever, made me realize an urge of the owner of lips to forefend laughter from that smile. The brightness of gladness on that face was defeating the luminance of eyes that had turned wide uncommonly, with eye lashes shivering to hide everything that was explicated by the innocence of them.

To give that smile more freedom and to gain my concentration back on that mute and frozen communication to explain all I had to say, and to listen all that was to be complained; I pulled myself back to those eyes. A few more glances, and felt like had everything that I wanted. Wanted to reach out and touch those curvy wrinkles guarding that smile. Felt and urge to hold that source of happiness in my hands. The surrounding was nothing but another annoying creation of God at that time.

Those few seconds communicated thousands of thoughts impossible to exchange even with remaining all four senses. And the outcome? I witnessed that fragile smile flawlessly melting into an expression of artificial anger; that forced that flag bearer to give in, to maneuver the earlier disappointment and to step into the space to feel even more stronger in possessiveness.

Return to innocence

2009-12-01T11:32:00.106+05:30

Something very upright about life is it shows it's beautiful and real face time to time. A face that renders after deciphering ineluctable layers of stilted manipulating quotidian mask. A face that re-defines the whole objective of any living entity. A face that pushes anyone around to assess his very own self and realize how much he's missing to snaffle. A face that reveals the really beautiful acts and brings everyone together at the same level where innocence is the most common virtue possessed by everyone. And if you get to witness such rare sight where life showcases a ravishing dance of innocence right in front of you; consider yourself one of the luckiest ones.

There was something outstanding about those leaps. Tho' they were comprised by strength of adulthood; the directions they were mapping was a return to innocence, was a return to childhood, was a return to purity. They were drawn up by an inspiration; condensed by secret desires of heart, impulses of a mind still missing the very founding need of a grown up child. The wafture of those legs was aligned to randomness of infantile geometry. The confidence and trust of those legs was as innocent as water surrendering itself to stones while falling from heights. There was an excitement in those steps of a falling rain drop. There was a liveliness in the rhythm; there was a joyousness in the poetic humming sound aired by the owner of those paces and there was a failsafe satisfaction exhibited by them while contemporizing with the nature around. They were determined to crop the fruits of childish harmony cultivated over years; hidden somewhere inside the heart.

The happiness and joy scattered over the surrounding from the vibrant motion of those steps was interposing a liveliness in the whole arena. Every step taken forward, was uncovering the layers of materialism that was hiding the most important aspect of every human; which was opening up bright and shining just like a white snow peak crowned over dusty mountain walls. The fearless thumps were enlightening the presence of very true grandness of an inside entity, that never weakens by the growth of external casting and defeat against the selfish eco-cycle. Abandoning the social timidness made mandatory over the period of maturation, that rhapsody of sinlessness was so eager to make a run, towards where the life commences. The innocent act of puerility procession was confidently embracing the fusion of the inner child with obsolete adult. The false pride of an adult was shield-less under those aimless footfalls influenced by god given superbia.

Those tiny steps taken to fulfill the demands of freshly awakened inside kid; forced to realize it's never late to let those inner ones rise once again and left completely amazed by that act of innocence. For a while, it pulled the whole sphere to the point where the life starts. That made a fresh breath pass through all senses and justified the mountainous beauty around. That movement of freedom was compelling everything around to join along in the march of something very true, very impulsive, very generic and very craved. That act manifested the triumph of the inner child over adulthood. All of a sudden, a proficient pawn of the system gave up against the new born from within. A new born, determined to achieve everything that was left behind; to fill the gaps which never allowed to mature the hopes and turn into mercenary needs. A new born, engaged the whole reckoning to re-evaluate the meaning of life. That made the soothing sunlight worth an existance. That childish motion repeated over the grounds of nature, proved a unadulterated return to innocence.

Slipshod Phase

2009-04-28T14:38:00.000+05:30

There are people who hold a social position that is tied around us since your very first minute on this planet and offer a warm comfort level that when you are in disaster, they are your very first option to seek help. Somehow, It has never happened so far. There is like a huge tall wall that can prove even the wall of china diminutive against it. Have always tried a lot to jump on the other side and have ended up smashing my head. Not the wall's fault. May be, just my fault. Now it feels like I myself have engineered the wall, made it full-proof, unbreakable for eternity. Either passion of taking on the world on very own self or; they being a conventional rear; the obvious expectations of theirs has nurtured the foundations of this wall. Whatever the reason, now we are beyond a point where this kind of observation or analysis is never going to help in (re)creating the commonly found bond. Guess, it's never in the destiny.

The strength of this wall has now affected everything around it so much that have left reluctant to open up even to those social and personal backbones who have stood by side since years. Situational cataclysms have created such matured breaches which are hard to diminish provided the level of frustration, saturation and impregnated disappointments on both the sides. Makes you avoid every sign from those whom you have disturbed thousands of times even at 2 @ night just so say hi. The starting point of entire butterfly effect can't be traversed that easily the way you can predict the very near future; which unfortunately, happens to be pure black blank. Negotiation and bargaining are the terms that infarcts the solace always experienced with family, friends, family friends and family of friends. Like you living inside a charismatic water bubble and everything looks so beautiful outside. Ignoring your anger, depression and frustration your you raise your hand to reach them and the bubble bursts apart, tearing off all the layers of lies built up over the time.

Isolation and solitude are the key tools to explore the inner side, only condition is they are self induced and not forced. But at times, the thin line difference between both the categories becomes blurred that it is hard to decide is it really helping or not. Inability to do something doesn't give much space to decide if doing it is right or wrong. Nor noticing scars on others' skin makes you forget your very own. It just doesn't let you have enough time to treat them. But that's never the ultimate solution. This isolation has brought one good thing; that is freedom. Not because the complete trust from beyond the wall. It's just that none gives a damn about what you do, where you are and how you have been. Communications imitating probably the most unselfish relations from outside; are nothing but just purpose and objective centric partnerships. Unavoidable needs have upgraded the breaches to an extent that physical isolation seems to be the most effective escape as of now.

Bullshit apart, but the question remains the same. Now what? may be, in former situation, there was no need to be desperate to find the answer; but guess now it is. Earlier, people were moving forward but now, it's you who is moving backwards. None of your single plan works out and setbacks over commitments have shaped up huge magnitude beyond your control over anything. Putting all your warm connections on stake, quitting is the only option you have left. The mania of reaching ultimate success have made you surrender all intermediate happiness. Unhappiness and unfortunate acts like a virus spreads rapidly among those who are responsible for your very own happiness. It's the time when you realize you have all the planets boozed up and rolling around in space wildly pushing you into an unpredictable fate. Something like a chopped off abandoned nail being pulled by seven muscular ants. Makes sense ? Damn, why April Effect has to come in april ! To define the epilogue here; guess I am at the opening of same confusing gigantic maze I had witnessed two years back at around this same time. And there is nothing much done for that apart from banging fingers on the keyboard. And guess even that is not helping. Decision of living in pure oxygen has taken away the capabilities of bringing things on screen. Putting emotions aside, after considering all professional, financial and social factors; a collective conclusion that arrives indicates only one thing; this is not what it was supposed to be.

Ghajini Review

2008-12-27T05:05:00.006+05:30

It felt like i was witnessing a rape. A brutal rape of one of the most brilliant story written ever. Jonathan Nolan & Christopher Nolan might commit suicide after watching this one. Usually, Amir khan's movies haven't disappointed viewers that much and that's why, in spite of crunchy cold, I had chose to watch this movie on first day anyhow. But after bearing the torture of horrible sound effects and people bouncing on screen, when you walk out of hall at 3:30 in midnight; only thing one can think is Amir Khan is the biggest idiot available in bollywood.

There's an understanding and intelligence used when you copy a movie. This movie lakes both. I don't know if the plot was carefully used in the original copy of south indian remake but who cares. Local movies are allowed to copy stuff but, when you are doing something what has got international eyes on it and it's one of the most awaited project so far; I felt pity for it as it turns out to be a real disaster. If Mr. Perfectionist really believes in perfection, he shouldn't have signed for this film at all. May be, he was too busy in publicizing this movie that he forgot to watch it at least once before sending it to public.

Original Memento movie talks about Leonard Shelby who has (need not mention, he is suffering from anterograde amnesia) decided to hunt down the killer of his wife and has ended up in an infinite loop of killing spree. (well, that's my conclusion after watching Memento for numerous times years back, anyway. I am not gonna reveal the suspense here). But the movie isn't that simple as it sounds in last few lines. Ambiguity, reverse chronology, paranoia, suspicion, uncertainty, confusion, and betrayal everything has fallen in the same place that makes the movie most complicated and a perfect psychological thriller ever. Leonards's self narration makes you look at things from his perspective and therefore, story leaves the truth upto the viewers with tons of possibilities which only a patient with such condition can feel. A unique way of screenplay with no flaws in the plot, had made the movie a perfect masterpiece to have in collection.

On the other hand, Amir Khan's version of the movie is far far away from keeping the viewers in such state where you cant even remotely enjoy the thriller. Unlike the original, where every character unfolds one by one, this movie clutters the cinema screen with crowd and of course EIGHT pack abs of Amir Khan. The concept of anterograde amnesia is stupidly slammed. A huge time is wasted on action and songs and of course romance. Nobody will understand why there is so much need of romance in a thriller film. Photography, specially in action sequence, puts entire south indian cinema on screen.

Moreover, there are certain sequences which are hard to digest even for the dumbest viewer. eg, Female constable, who discovers that some local mafias are approaching to kill Sanjay's wife Kalpana; she calls Kalpana to warn her instead of calling local police station to send some help. At least constables should know that we are paying taxes to use police in this kind of situations !!! Police didn't even investigate after attack on Sanjay and his girlfriends murder. The way Sanjay finds his to-be girlfriend Kalpana, is too much to accept unless it happens in Sharukh Khan movie :D And god knows how Sanjay finds out the mafia who killed his wife is Ghajini and has tracked him down to hunt. To cut short, Ghajini is exaggerated revenge masala movie with amplified amount of romance and action.

Talking about acting; well, Amir's anger, shouts and punches makes him look like Rajnikanth or Kamal Hasan or SOMETHING like that. Jiah Khan has got nothing much to do in the movie and though (or may be that's why) she has done much better compared to her movie Nishabd. Overall story doesn't give much space to stay under the suspense till the end as the story has been modified a lot in order to balance between romance and action so that it can be made understandable by indian viewers. In one line, south indian Ghajini was pathetic implementation of original memento, and Amir Khan's Ghajini is the literal translation of the south indian Ghajini. Those who are die hard fan of original memento and those who do not want to ruin Amir Khan's image in your mind, stay away from this movie.

Morni by Silk Route

2008-10-13T22:55:00.004+05:30

Silk Route has always been one of my favorite bands. Just three band members and they do wonders with Guitars. I have listened to their songs Guncha, Dooba Dooba and Boondein for hours in a row. and above all, particular this Himachali song, named Morni, is bewilderingly amazing, so dejecting, so soulful, so lively, so touching, so peaceful, so magical so nostalgic, so... (... all other relevant keywords from any good English dicitionary ) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aama Poochhdi
Sun Dhiye Meriye
Dubali Itni Tu Kiyaan Kaari Hoyi Ho

Paar Li Vaniyaan
Mor Jo Boley Ho
Aama Ji Iney Morey Nindar Gavaai Ho

Sadh Le Bandukhi Jo
Sadh Le Shakaari Jo
Dhiye Bhala Eta Mor Maar Giraana Ho
Ho Dhiye Bhala Eta Mor Maar Giraana Ho

Mor Ni Maarna
Ho Mor Ni Maarna
Mor Ni Gavaana Ho
Aama Ji Eta Morey Pinjrey Puwaana Ho
Oo Aama Ji Eta Morey Pinjrey Puwaana Ho

Kuthi Jaanda Chandrama
Kuthi Jaandey Taare Ho
Oo Aama Ji Kuthi Jaandey Dilaan De Payaare Ho

Oo Chhupi Jaanda Chandrama
Chhupi Jaandey Taare Ho
Oo Chhupi Jaanda Chandrama Chhupi Jaandey Taare Ho
Oo Dhiye Bhala Naiyon Chhupdey Dilaan De Payaare Ho

Oo Dhiye Bhala Naiyon Chhupdey Dilaan De Payaare Ho

Gandhi ki dhoti main

2008-09-14T06:02:00.004+05:30

By now, the news of Delhi bomb blasts would have spread around like wild fire and mostly everyone has switched the channels to same daily crap by thinking these blasts are nothing but another tremor to break down a phenomenon named Peace given by Mahatma Gandhi. Fat politicians will send out their reactions, Police department will escape by saying we had warned government well before, news-media will focus their camera on injured victims to make questions like "Aap kaisa mahsoos kar rahe hai" and people will crowd those bomb sites as usual. This is india and it's not gonna change. not until we have people with excessive lipids in place of brains.

Anyway, none of my friend in delhi is dead/injured (yaa. such talks and lines are normal now, given the increased frequency of terrorist attacks in India, we have to learn this new-Indian-age-talk) and neither this post has anything to do with those blasts.

I had this post in draft about the game called Gandhi ki dhoti main, possibly invented six and half years back in hostel. the story behind this game is; somewhere there was a multiplex called "Gandhi ki dhoti". so if someone asks you what are the movies running their, how will you answer ? it's really really funny and read it at your own risk :D

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Do Aankhe Baarah Haath

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Sab Se Bada Khiladi

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Girl Next Door

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Swadesh

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Teesra Kaun

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Pyaar Ishq Aur Mohabbat

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Ab Tak Chhappan

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Darna Mana hai

Gandhi ki dhoti main - A Million Dollar Baby

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Roti Kapda Aur Makaan

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Sooraj Ka Satwa Ghoda

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Jo Jeeta Wahi Sikandar

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Bandit Queen

Gandhi ki dhoti main - The Terminal

Gandhi ki dhoti main - French Kiss

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Indecent Proposal

Gandhi ki dhoti main - National Treasure

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Scent Of A Woman

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Hazaaro Khwaahishe Aisi

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Kachche Dhaage

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Hal Chal

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Daraar

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Chhupa Rustam

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Aandhi

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Woh Kaun Thi

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Tera Jaadu Chal Gaya

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Deewar

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Kaante

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Hum Tum

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Koyla

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Garam Masala

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Jo Bole So Nihaal

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Naksha

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Woh Saat Din

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Mere Do Anmol Ratan

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Do Jasoos

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Joru Ka Ghulam

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Main Meri Patni Aur Woh

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Monsoon Wedding

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Taare Zameen Par

Gandhi ki dhoti main - A Beautiful Mind

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Last King Of Scotland

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Mera Pehla Pehla Pyaar

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Mixed Doubles

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Outsourced

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Passion Of The Christ

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Pirates of Silicon Valley

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Pursuit Of Happyness

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Pyaar Ke Side Effects

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Road To Ladakh

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Sum of All Fears

Gandhi ki dhoti main - The Good The Bad And The Ugly

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Train To Pakistan

Gandhi ki dhoti main - Vantage Point

Bizarre screenshots

2008-09-09T10:30:00.006+05:30

Have you ever came across any stuff on your computer screen when you feel like banging your head with that stupid machine ??? Today I was cleaning up my hard disk and found some whacky screenshots of the stuff I encountered on my screen I have collected over past few years. Here is a collection. They are interesting !!!

Here, Google thinks that Cambridge is in US !!!

Check the difference between size of the folder and the space it is consuming on hard disk !

Bill Gate thinks that we can wait for 7953609 minutes to watch this movie. That is; approximately 15 years.

Here again, dear Bill thinks that one can wait for 18766 days 7 hours, that is about 51.41 years. I am wondering how did it precisely calculated 7 hours on top of 18766 days !!!

Lolz...! I want to send this screenshot as greeting card to Bill Gates on his birthday.

Can you read the word in that image ???

Alright, here is an interesting one. I got this mail account configured somewhere in 2003. Before I joined the college, there was no astrologer to predict that someday I was going to join the college and that's why, college had not configured my mail account as well till I joined the college. That was in 2002. Then how the hell i got two emails in 2000 !!!

Those who are die hard fan of this most played flash game in office called Copter, I need not explain. Can you fly through the allowed passage ?

Vista sucks. If you see carefully, there are two folders with the same name Music.

Here, again you can see two folders with the same name Public Videos.

With love from Microsoft; God knows what the hell has happened here !!! If I remember correctly, I had to re-install windows after this.

This one is pretty cool. Where there are softwares running loot of money under the name of license, here is one philanthropist!

Why hindi doesn't rock (extended)

2008-09-06T22:29:00.007+05:30

Long time back, i had read an article with a title "Why hindi doesn't rock" (for which I am not able to re-locate the URL). I always wanted to make this point. Whenever we translate any game's name or hollywood movie name to hindi, why does it sound so hilarious !!! Here is a list of few most popular hollwood movies with their names' Hindi version !!! I had to take some help from here and there before compiling this list. You are free to correct me or to add some more in the list. Enjoy !

12 Angry Men - Baarah Krodhit Purush

A Beautiful Mind - Ek Sundar Mashtishk

A Mighty Heart - Ek Taakatwar Dil

Alien - Pargrahvaasi

Batman Begins - Chamgadhar Purush Shuru Hota Hai

Blair Witch Project - Blair Chudail Yojnaa

Bridge on the River Kwai - Kwaaai Nadi Ke Upar Ka Pool

Bucket List - Baalti Ki Taalika

Clockwork Orange - Yantra Sanchaalit Santraa

Cube - Ghan

Elephant Man - Haathi Purush

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind - Bina Daag Ke Mashtishk Ka Sanaatan Suryaprakaash

General's Daughter - Senapati Ki Putri

Good Will Hunting - Achchha Manobal Shikaar

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb - Maine Kaise Sikha Chinta Mukt Hona Aur visfotak Gole Se Pyaar Karna

Hypercube - Ati Ghan

If Only - Agar Sirf

In Which Annie Gives It Those Ones - Usme Jisme Annie Usko Woh Waale Deti Hai

Inside Man - Aantarik Purush

LA Confidential - EL E Gupt

Leaving Las Vegas - Laaas Vegaaaas Chhodna

Lord of the Rings - Angoothiyo Ke Bhagvaan

Lost In Translation - Anuvaad Main Khoya Hua

Matrix Reloaded - Saarani Fir Se Prasthaapit

My Left Foot - Mera Baahina Charan

No Country For Old Man - Vriddho Ke Liye Desh Nahi

No Man's Land - Kisi Purush Ki Zameen Nahi

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest - Koyal Ke Ghonsle Ke Upar Se Ek Udaan

Outsourced - Baahar Ki Taraf Strotit

Pianist - Baaja Bajaane Waala

Pulp Fiction - Kaalpanik Kahaani Ka Faaluda

Psycho - Sanki

Rainman - Varsha Purush

Rear Window - Pichhe Ki Khidaki

Reservoir Dogs - Sanrakshit Shwaan

Silence of the Lambs - Memno Ki Shaanti

Some Like It Hot - Kuchh Ko Woh Garam Achchha Lagta Hai

Spiderman - Makkad Purush

Sum Of All Fears - Samast Bhayo Ka Yogfal

The Good The Bad And The Ugly - Achchha, Bura Aur Bhadda

There Will Be Blood - Wahaan Rakt Hoga

Third Man - Teesra Purush

To Kill a Mockingbird - Nakalchi Panchhi Ko Maarne Ke Liye

Usual Suspects - Aam Shaqmand

Vantage Point - Prabhaavshali Bindu

Google Chrome - Review

2008-09-03T02:20:00.013+05:30

By now, almost we all know that Google Chrome is out; increasing headache of web-application developers. Already they were having a tough time in aligning their applications with FireFox 2/3, IE 6/7/8(BETA), Safari.

As soon as I started using it, a clear fact I realized is Google Chrome is completely application oriented browser, powered with fastest javascript processor, designed to browse web based applications, the next generation of websites. It is more useful for those who are interested in AJAX powered web albums, videos & other streaming media, games etc etc. And after a while, the idea behind whole Chrome thing turned out to be something like, Google is having a tough time in making their web applications compatible with all present browsers and hence, they came up with their own browser ! Probably, a part of Google's so-hyped Operating System. However, here are my comments on this new born browser.

1) On Vista, Google Chrome is installed in AppData (User profile folder) for each user. The program folder consumes around 45 MB. Now, Google creates other after-browsing-files that sucks up around 45 MB. for me, the Google Chrome folder was consuming around 97 MB. Don't forget, this is for a single user. Kindly multiply this size with the number of users you have. Not only that, all the users have to install it individually. There is no one time installation. Moreover, the installation package what we download on local disc is just a kind of shortcut to locate the actual installer on internet. You need to wait for some more time meanwhile your package is downloaded.

2) Title bar with neat arrangement of tabs looks funky and eye catching. Milky colored status-bar adds more in that. From top to bottom, its very very clean and less messy. makes you more focused on web-application and less confused among toolbars. But the address bar size looks too amateur and the darkening effect on base URL looks like a take from IE-8 BETA.

3) Tab drag and creating of new window out of tab is a good feature. Preventing all other tabs from being closed when one of them is crashed. But you will feel scared if you look into the memory occupied by Google Chrome process, once you have created multiple windows. I thought one more window and damn ! everything will crash !!!

4) Probably Google should have focused more on the font size inside a form input than the same of address bar. Font size is extremely small and definitely excessive use of this browser will lead to serious eye-sight problems ! And this is a major issue for web-form developers, as this size varies from browser to browser.

5) The one-box feature is really handy. You need not maintain different boxes for search, URL address etc etc. Need not say, dominating search engine is Google in this box as well !

6) Safe browsing and private browsing (Incognito mode) features are very much similar to IE8 BETA so need not mention here. However, Google is always suspected for playing around with users' privacy. So you can never say private browsing is really private or not. Read the bullet 10 (three bullets down below) for more on Google and privacy.

7) Alright, showing history and most visited pages in new tab is a good idea. But there has to be an option to turn this feature off !!! after a while, this feature really starts irritating ! It shows thumbnails of most visited sites. So porn browsers, beware... :D

8) Application shortcuts is good, but who has time to minimize all the windows and look around in desktop for each shortcut whenever u need !!! it's actually wasting more time !

9) One of the base objective of Google Chrome is faster access to internet and webhosted data. But Chrome is still much more slower than FireFox 3 and unfortunately, less efficient as well. Even applications designed by Google are faster on FireFox than Chrome.

10) Advertisements !!! no, there are no ads in Google Chrome, but they have never said that there will not be !!! don't panic if you start seeing ads while you browse. Google Chrome is a simple channel to let Google know what are your browsing interests, and thats more than enough to divert ads onto your desktop. And check out Google Chrome once again, there is no option to turn off the history feature. That means, at least once, google grabs the data what you are browsing. Plus, if you are not like me who never reads the LICENSE AGREEMENT before installing anything on ur desktop, please read Google Chrome's license agreement carefully. The words stated there are:-

11.1 You retain copyright and any other rights you already hold in Content which you submit, post or display on or through, the Services. By submitting, posting or displaying the content you give Google a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, royalty-free, and non-exclusive license to reproduce, adapt, modify, translate, publish, publicly perform, publicly display and distribute any Content which you submit, post or display on or through, the Services. This license is for the sole purpose of enabling Google to display, distribute and promote the Services and may be revoked for certain Services as defined in the Additional Terms of those Services.

11.2 You agree that this license includes a right for Google to make such Content available to other companies, organizations or individuals with whom Google has relationships for the provision of syndicated services, and to use such Content in connection with the provision of those services.

This might mean that Google has a right to make a local version of your official local (intranet only) web pages on Google's server and make it available to other rival organizations !!! (by the way, the above image is copied from Gizmodo article on Google Chrome EULA, just in case Google is going to claim that it is from Google, as I am publishing this post using Google Chrome.)

11) Google Chrome is an open source browser. That means, lot of developers are going to work on the code, lot of good features are going to be shaped up and at the same time, lot of versions are going to be released. God bless web-developers and God bless users !!!

On a short note, Google Chrome is fantastic for those who are always stuck to Google, who can hardly think of using anything beyond Google, for the rest: FireFox 3 Rocks !!!

UPDATE: I just checked out the revised version of License Agreement attached with Google Chrome and currently Google has corrected the section 11 to the following statement:

11. Content license from you

11.1 You retain copyright and any other rights you already hold in Content which you submit, post or display on or through, the Services.

Being a human

2008-08-19T02:53:00.008+05:30

One, Mathematics is the language of nature. Two, Everything around us can be represented and understood through numbers. Three: If you graph the numbers of any system, patterns emerge. Therefore, there are patterns everywhere in nature. Evidence: The cycling of disease epidemics; the wax and wane of caribou populations; sun spot cycles; the rise and fall of the Nile. So, what about the stock market? The universe of numbers that represents the global economy. Millions of hands at work, billions of minds. A vast network, screaming with life. An organism. A natural organism. My hypothesis: Within the stock market, there is a pattern as well...

- Maximillian Cohen, Pi

If the above theory is correct, then I am sure the number of variables is much more higher than number of available algebraic equations of my life. Neither it is able to plot any nice looking pattern nor it is able to provide any solution. Any set of values I have tried, always ended up with complexifying the entire equation even more. Till I was a child, just because of curiosity, I had a wish that someday I would become an astronomer. Our tiny size against this universe has always amazed me. I ran through a few journals, subscribed to a couple of related magazines, even bought a small pen-sized telescope capable of zooming into any shiny thing in the universe by 4X size. More I got into that, more I realized that astronomy is something that needs time, a lot of time, a huge time from your life. The earth is already very slow to move, galaxies are too far that it's hard to notice them move ! People spend years and years in studying them and then they infer that from the perspective of earth, they have moved 0.03^o !

Finally I gave up and minimized the domain to sky. I found fighter pilot career more attractive (and of course it is) and jumped inside the pool of NDA preparations books. I screwed my eye sight and killed every single chance of getting thru. Later, I got into engineering and realized technology is more interesting than science. Science is nothing but turning your hair gray for some two lines principle or formula ! Nor, you can bring anymore revolution in a 0.3 mm diode because it is already designed and the science behind it is saturated. Rather, use existing formulas and build the world, that is technology. Science can not earn you bread, but technology can, that too, in a much easier way. Put technology in the right place n see the magic. So I figured it out that more you can do, more important you are for the world. I picked up one of them and tried to learn everything possible. But that assumption was broken as well. It is never important what you know. What is important is from where to know what you don't know. If you are aware about what you don't know and you are sure about the places where you can know that is more than enough.

So just be a quick learner, and you can fight any challenge at work. But more fun is in being a master of such quick learners whom you can make work for you idea. That works much much faster way. So ultimate way to gain something is; 1) you should know what has to be done, and 2) you should know who can do it. Come up with a right idea, and make idiots work for it. Earn a lot, pay them something and you all are happy. But, is that really what we are supposed to do as human? Just race among each other. Prove yourself better than everyone else? While trying for something, we never analyze if we really want it, or rather need it. We just try thing N, we get bored with it and we try N+1. We keep exploring the world, look for defects and try to fix it. Like it's a noble cause to make the world a better place; just for you. Know the other kind of people, figure out if they are good or not. If not, kill them. I have inherited two different religions. My grandfather was a teacher in a madrasa-cum-school and my grandmother was the principal. They both knew Urdu more than any other language. However, we are Hindu family. I could never notice any differences between both the streams. They all are same, humans, lost humans.

Every kid is born with a set of choices, set of interests, a dream, a dream printed on his DNA structure. As the kid grows, this dream becomes blurred, his DNA pattern turns low resolution image. wiped out by choices, poorly presented forced choices around him. He is burdened with knowledge and knowledge brings him even more choices. Excessive knowledge brings more worries. You know more, you come tho know that there is much you do not know so far. He looses his direction in the jungle of digital emotions, deviating far far away from his actual abilities, actual qualities, actual desires. He tries person X and if doesn't work out, somehow goes to person X+1. Even then he is not satisfied. Stuffs so much of smoke in his lungs that they might just turn into hot air balloons and he can reach such heights; heights beyond his imagination where he can set his mind free, free from all the factors to understand the blurred pattern on his DNA, clearly mapping the exact desires he always wanted.

And then he realizes as a human, what he always wanted. He always had indulged in fantasy of touching a falling raindrop with finger-tip. walk into the woods and shout out loud. Feeling the warmth of sand on a beach with his bare feet. Let the hair groove with soft wind. Feel the sensations in a free fall. Sync his legs with waving spring waters. Stay far far away from everything designed by, mastered by humans. Explore yourself, your inner mindset, inner desires. Listen to the chords played by leaves. Splash hands on semi liquid icy water. Try to understand a newborn baby's smile. Read the stories from quondam eyes. Snaffle the emotions while feelings are exchanged without a word. Capture every non-human aspect of a human. Find the moon right next to you. Let first sun rays tangle with goosebumps in a winter morning. Walk confident on mountains. Look at the universe, and feel proud about even after being so tiny, he is someone who has discovered himself. As a mathematically defined system of equations, the values of variables he stargazed about were never the ones that can offer the best solution of the system, but the ones who can transform the system in a singularity state with nature, with everything non-human around him. either way... i have not even remotely reached that perfect human, not yet.

Layoff in Indian IT Industry

2008-08-01T22:24:00.019+05:30

/* This is an eye-witnessed layoff, as reported by a victim from my close circle */

victim - May i come in? i am sorry, i am late. But that should be fine.

HR - Please come in. Are you aware why we have arranged this meeting?

victim - yes of course. Even one of my friend attended the same in morning. First i thought it is because he downloaded a porn video yesterday, but the very next moment, i realized what is this all about.

HR - have a seat please. See, it's a part of the organization process that we periodically need to re-align the number of resources with the requirements and re-size the number of available skills according to demand. So maybe you do not exactly fit in the current work profile and that's why we want to give you an opportunity to look for a more suitable place. And that is why, we are executing this layoff procedure.

victim - so you mean to say that 200 candidates who had undergone oh-so-hyped technical and stress interviews in their campuses and then recruited by you, who were turned into coding machines over last two years do not fit in for work ? and it took two years for you to realize that ?

HR - See, it doesn't work the way you think. you might have been put on layoff list because you are an under performer.

victim - ahaan. so now you think i am under performer. There are people on bench over 10 months because their resource manager haven't assigned them to projects and you think employees are under performer ? project directors, who have been stuffing resources with bloody 200% margin and even then, 10% of the team always has to perform under extreme stress and you are saying employees are under performer !!! we are not under performer, we never had an opportunity to perform.

HR - see, project assignments and such authorities are not in HR's hands. HRs are for your compensation issues, and we are always helpful to employees for such matters.

victim - Oh yes, of course. you have always been helpful to all managers & directors in hiding the numbers when there's an extra bonus deposited from client's side so that those employees; who are actually working their asses off to deliver the project even before the deadline; would never know why their share has disappeared ! i will tell you why exactly this layoff is being executed. It's not because the reasons you stated. It is because American big brothers are not ready to outsource anymore work to India. and typically, not to our company. We are doing the same work since years and years with no difference in quality, but with an increased cost every year. So they are not ready to buy your junk code written by those dumb fashion chicks you have retained to make your office look more glamorous. Managers are more focused on internal politics about how do i climb the organization ladder and not let the others. They are not letting technically strong engineers being exposed to clients because they are feeling insecure when they stand next to their juniors. Neither the company has brought any innovation in it's service and that's why, we are much much less efficient than expected. you want to pay more to those who sit inside the closed cabin and that's why you are firing those employees who are sitting outside !

HR - listen, you need to calm down. you are not the only person. There are lot others on the list.

victim - oh ya. the long list ! something that the company is really proud of. whatever. i am pretty calm and cool. don't worry, i wont need any of those ambulances you have kept ready outside. In fact, i am very happy that this ended very soon and you yourself are firing me. Otherwise, i was about to resign in coming time. Just let me know where all i need to sign and finish it off.

HR - Alright, here are the papers you need to sign. Once you complete that, surrender your Identity card and Access card. After that, you are not allowed to walk inside the official premises or interact with any employee. so one security guard will escort you to the parking. let me know the address, our cab will drop you home. if you have any personal belongings in your cubicle, do let us know. We will send them out separately along with your relieving letter.

victim - okie. I will need a cab to pearl's bar. We all, who are being fired are having a party there, and no offense, but you are not invited :)

Kahani Hamare Mahabharat Ki - Review

2008-07-09T06:45:00.010+05:30

So, another product from balaji factory is out. having the same prototype as any other Ekta Kapoor drama prefixed by K. However, for this one, Ekta Kapoor had an excuse that the copyright associated with the title Mahabharat are already registered with B.R. Chopra so she had to find a replacement and later, that was verified by her dedicated astrologer Sunita Menon and numerologist Sanjay Jumaani.

Alright, somehow Ekta has easily replaced the Mahabharat (1988) title with her own Kahani Hamare Mahabharat Ki (2008), but will she be able to replace the royal presentation, the premium language and accent of epic characters, the base of power and mightiness in elders' voice, the charm and personality of Krishna-Arjun-Duryodhan generation, excellent combination of beauty-gestures-traditions of Rajmata and Rajkumari/Putravadhu; and above all, the matured voice of Harish Bhimani as Samay ? (Remember 'main samay hun'? that was the only dialog which was repeated by him over and over in all the episodes of Mahabharat (1988) otherwise, Dr. Rahi Masoom Reza (the dialog writer of Mahabharat (1988)) had given him something new, something different to say in each and every episode. If one can put all the dialogs by Harish Bhimani as Samay on a single audio file, thats the best knowledge and philosophical funda one can ever give to anybody.)

Very few people know that the first attempt to portrait Mahabharat on cinema screen was made in 1920, by Jyotish Bannerjee, and of course, it was a silent movie. But the revolution what B.R. Chopra's Mahabharat had brought, none else had been able to do that. It was a must watch show for the entire family from 1988 to 1990. In those days when cinematography in india was technical handicapped; the costumes, sequences, dialogs and character players have set such milestones that it is nearly impossible to bring that magic back on screen.

Now, coming back to Kahani Hamare Mahabharat Ki (2008), after watching the first episode, anybody would feel like someone has thrown the same Agrawal/Viraani Parivaar in hastinapur. There was no difference from day to day saas-bahu drama. The only question would bug you is why the hell characters of Mahabharat look like people from Greek mythology !!!!!!!! The costume designers of Kahani Hamare Mahabharat Ki (2008) seem like great fans of Age Of Empires or Age of Mythology game.

Neither there is anything good about cinematography. The camera views are same as any other Balaji television, Zoom from left right top bottom, fade in fade out and added glow effect. Hard base drums in background adding more into the noises created by thunder and lightening voices.

Coming to a very important character, Draupadi. Earlier, in Mahabharat (1988), this character was played by Roopa Ganguli (ya, the same one who appeared in a Bengoli movie, Antarmahal (2005)) is played by Anita Hansandani (one of the females with Akshay Kumar in Khtaron Ke Khilaadi Show) looks less mannered and more seductive in that red bed sheet designed by Manish Malhotra. She is pathetic at dialog delivery. Neither she has that power and proud in her voice what a Panduvadhu should have. All other leading characters are so unfledged that they are doing injustice to the actual characters of Mahabharat. All five Pandu Putra are looking less from Hastinapur and more from Salman Khan's highly equipped gym. Neither their gears are well designed. Bheem used to carry a golden Gadaa, but here, he is carrying a bunch of cutters hooked together. Over all, all these five characters are looking like a poor a gardener family who found a couple of jeweleries while digging into the ground.

In one line, by looking at the first two episodes, Kahani Hamare Mahabharat Ki is a big disaster and the same quality continues, i don't think Ekta will be able to recover the investment she has done for the high definition recording of the series, doesn't matter how much numerology she applies.

(de)C Grade !

2008-06-28T04:32:00.016+05:30

Eversince TV channels are flooded with boring comedy shows, C grade movies are becoming a popular source of entertainment. C grade movies are a great help to overcome a bad day at office, break up, frustration, boredom etc. they are great filler for nerds' drink party. a good thing about C grade movies is they hardly get a sponsor. so you can enjoy such movies without break. Everyone knows the importance of laughter. When you don't have a reason to laugh, watch C grade movie ! and trust me, C grade movies are no joke. There is a huge industry surviving on C grade movies. Remember one C grade song from the movie Anwar? (le lo le lo hawa mazedaar ! bangla khula khula !) People like Kishan Shah (the Subhash Ghai of C grade movies) and Mona Chopra (hottest babe from C grade movies) are earning lakhs and lakhs every year from C grade movies ! Thousands of people enter in mumbai without a godfather and end up doing C grade movies. working in a C grade movie is the best alternative to prostitution. watching a C grade movie is not everyone's cup of tea. you need that extraordinary viewer perspective for this sort of movie and there are certain pre-requisites as well. so here are the guide-lines on how to enjoy a C grade movie. (a disclaimer: i am no way a huge fan of C grade movies. All the C grade movies i've watched, all the C grade movies i am gonna watch, this article etc are just a product of boredom. as i had no other topic to write about, i am choosing C grade movies. so kindly, don't consider this post seriously. Moreover, i putting all south indian movies (dubbed in hindi), ekta kapoor TV serials, masala movies from bollywood, low budget regional movies, early morning horoscope shows on TV and faaltu news on Inndian news channels in the same category and that is C grade !)

1) First condition is you should watch C grade movie with at least 2-3 lukkha friends with you. and too prove that you the worst/best nerd among them, keep a print-out of this article handy :D

2) Usually, C grade movies have common stereotype story. Lead actress being kidnapped by a taantrik and his paaltu ghost. The whole relatives and friends group go to puraani haveli to rescue her. So if you have watched one C grade movie, you can assume the same story in another movie and start from wherever you wish. you can even merge two three movies and watch them.

3) the most common characters are Rich (& hot ?!?!?) student daughter, her married brother, their married friends, her not-so-rich boyfriend, a taantrik, a ghost or a spirit etc. of course, there are other characters like ramuchacha, driver, naukaraani, proffesor etc.

4) Dont laugh when you come across someone wearing black gown or with red eyes, or with bones in hands. They are ghosts and you are supposed to be scared when you see them. If that character is cover with cloths from top to bottom, assume its a male ghost. In remaining conditions, its self-explanatory.

5) Remember the following dialogs as they're gonna be repeated in every damn movie !

Aaiye doctor saahab, main aap ko baahar tak chhod deta hu.

Maine injection de diya hai. inko jaldi hi hosh aa jaayega.

arey isme takleef kis baat ki. ye toh mera farz tha.

Main tumhaare bachche ki maa banane waali hu.

Keh do ke ye jhooth hai ! bhagvaan ke liye !

chhodo na. kya kar rahe ho? koi dekh lega.

Police ne tumhe chaaro taraf se gher liya hai. apne hathiyaar fenk do aur apne aap ko kanoon ke hawaale kar do.

beta, mere baad ye sab kuchh tumhaara hi toh hai.

is haweli ki deewaro mein kayi saare raaz dafan hai thaakur saab.

6) Don't try to perform an audio-frequency-diagnosis of C grade music. otherwise, you come to know the fact that the music loop composed from very basic instruments is repeated at the rate of 3 cycles every 25 seconds and it will ruin all the fun of eye-candies used in songs.

7) weather in C grade movies is a function of current situation of the story. when its romantic scene, it rains with no clowd and bright shining sun in the sky. when there enters a ghost or taantrik, suddenly the brightness disappears and it turns all black cloudy, and need not mention, the lightening.

8) Though the soul responsibility of killing the evil, saving thakur's haveli and villagers' bahu-beti lies on hero's head, the heroine has to perform an item number to keep the taantrik busy while hero steals his tilasmi taavij. Hence, the importance of female lead character is proven.

9) mostly, all shocking scenes have a typical presentation scheme, which is much similar to microsoft powerpoint presentation or a slide show. Camera slides from left to right, top to bottom, then zoom in, zoom out. Repeat this for all the faces available at the site of situation and then finally fade out.

10) Newton's law of gravity doesnt influence anything for three seconds as soon as hero delivers a punch on someone's face. same with his kick. But the same law influences the key of heroine's car when she tries to run away and tries to open the car door.

Into The Wild

2008-06-12T02:46:00.039+05:30

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore;
There is a society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more...

A soulful opening of an adventure savvy's ultimate fantasy. "Career is 20th century's most harmful invention and i don't want to use it. If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed. Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past. I'm going to paraphrase Thoreau here... rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.", those were the words who enlightened the path to a pathless journey. Summarizing his 22 years old life in a blue baggage, topper of the university burns away his academic excellence with all the currency bills he had in his pocket, pushes away his car and begins his dramatically philosophical soul-search. A soul search inspired not by the the beauty of nature, but by the racism, discrimination, valueless affections, misleading pre-defined knowledge base, namesake relations, life killing one life for another life, greedy systems ruled by the civic people. Where kids are brought up by their parents so that they can rise and shine and someday, their parents can claim that ya, thats my son who is ruling the world.

"I don't want to know what time it is, what day it is, or where I am." - He denies a help in form of a watch given by the last person he was seeing in his life. He adds a casual thanks, given it had been his habit since the day he had left his room, his house, his family, his society... He moralizes himself once again - "You don't need human relationships to be happy, God has placed it all around us. No phone, no pool, no pets, no cigarettes. Ultimate freedom. An extremist. An aesthetic voyager whose home is the road. Thou shalt not return. And now after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. The climactic battle to kill the false being within and victoriously conclude the spiritual pilgrimage. No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees." and he gives away his last chance to come back to social jungle. Starts walking towards the jungles. Observes the natural landscapes carved by the nature, runs behind the animals, smells the natural woods, swims in the rivers, feels the mother nature.

He stands next to another nature lover standing at the sea shore, who had brought him back from the mountain ways. "The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences. Now I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head." He enters a country side farm area and meets individual farmers who had decided not to live a society life, instead, they were more organized on the basis of interest and trust. He meets a voyageur couple on high-way and feels jealous about their co-existence in much free, much independent way. Once again, he imagines about a family that is united to stay independent and which is always independent to stay united. A system where money, career and outer shine is not the only scale to measure the happiness. He works along with those farmers, plays a lot in their farms, shares their festivals.

"I have decided that i'm going to live this life for some time to come. The freedom and simple beauty is just too good to pass up... When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God's light shines upon you. I've forgiven my society that holds the children back, ties them with rigid family rules..." He pens down another line in his notebook, the only witness of his glorious life, that a common normal person can't even imagine. The retired old man, who had been providing him stay since about a month, asks him while seeing him off at the exit of the city and opening of the huge rain woods - "I was the only son of my parents, and they were the only children of their parents. I lost my family in 1937 war and i am the only person in my generation now. Son, we had a great time together in last month. You loved my leather art. if you don't have any problem, i would like to adopt you as my grand-child." He senses his greed and diplomatically denies his request by saying "Can i answer after my endless journey is over ?" 55 years old need of a child, which was over-boosted in last month, pops out from old man's eyes chocking his 'Good Bye' in his wrinkled throat.

After spending some wonderful months in dry jungles, he finds his passage back to highway town where he meets the same traveller couple once again and first time, realises how nice it feels when you come across the known people. From the town, somehow he arranges a coin and reaches a telephone booth to speak to his sister from whom, he was running since his graduation day. while standing in the queue, he listens to an old man who was talking to his wife over the phone and who was informing her about the failure of his medical operation and about his inability to come miles away back home and meet her as it was too late. While listening to this old man's talk, his urge to speak to his sister becomes more intense. However, his wish remains wish coz he offers his only coin to the old man who was running out of coins and he wanted to speak to his wife as much as possible before his death. accidentally he sets a great example of being a civic person on his self assignment of anti-socialism. He comes back to town, participates in their music concert, makes a lot of friends around in the town.

He spends his last days on white mountains, inside an abandoned truck in the grounds full of snow. Continuing his adventure down here, when he runs out of wild animals to hunt, he tries some nuts and plant leaves from around. One of them was deadly poisonous and he ends up with paralysis, leading to slow death. He puts down these last words in his diary: I have lived through much and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet, secluded life in the country with the possibility of being useful to people. Happiness can not be valued without sharing it. I really need some more time so that i can go back to everyone and let all of them know what a worthless lives they all have lived. I want to let them know that living outside the system brings more pleasure to life. but it was too late by then. Too late to come back from the ultimate destination, too late to come back from the ultimate happiness, too late to come back from the real life. He looks into the sky, smiles with a feeling of surrender, finds himself with his family and his soul speaks to himself: "What if I were smiling and running into your arms? Would you see then what I see now?"

Here was my take on the movie review of movie, Into The Wild. The movie is based upon a novel - adoption of a true story about Christopher McCandless and his adventures. However, this is something what i always want to do myself. Why everyone has to live a stereotype life? why we are not allowed to do something other than what we are supposed to do !!! why everyone has to be a part of economy cycle? I soooo want to give up everything. I want to run into the world with nothing in hands. I want to meet as many people as possible. I want to live at least one day with all sort of cultures, i want to share their work for once. i want to celebrate the way they do, i want to taste all sort of food, i want to be close with everything that exists in nature ! i want to live a life on my own that is not dependent upon existing society. i dont want to die like a normal human being who plans everything in the beging and wastes his life for society. i want to go as crazy as possible, want to go places with no money in hands. Anyone ready to join this madness ?

Let's drive the truck

2008-06-07T02:53:00.005+05:30

There was a smart ass. Who spoke to some people and got a nice deal of transporting their gold loaded truck to a certain location. Now, the smart ass, is very happy coz he got a contract that looks so intelligent from outside (well, that's what he thinks...) doesn't matter he has no idea how to drive the truck. He hires two people; one guy who can start the truck, one guy who can drive the truck. He doesnt disclose the secret that the truck is loaded with gold. The only thing both the guys are told is; YOU HAVE TO MOVE THIS TRUCK FROM PLACE ONE TO PLACE TWO. Now, the smart ass hires a huge number of people so that he can fool the actual truck owner that driving the truck is pretty complex task. So the truck owner pays a lot looot more than required amount.

Now, the guy who knows how to drive the truck, secretly knows how to start the truck. He goes to the smart ass and suggests that the other guy, who knows how to start the truck is not required. The smart ass thinks that this guy already knows how to start the truck and how to drive the truck is very risky for his top position, coz once the truck will reach the destination, next time he'll know everything, where to go, how to go ! so he puts the other guy (who knows how to start the truck) on top of him. The other guy (who knows how to start the truck) is already frustrated coz he doesnt know how to drive the truck, neither he knows where to go. However, the smart ass shares the destination with this guy so that he can influence him to keep fighting with the skilled-most driver. Thus, he secures his top level position.

Now, The truck has started. The guy who started the truck is no more required. He's just a burden on the truck. but, he islolates smart ass from the driver. Lot of people who were hired earlier have embarked the truck and they're added burden on the truck. They have no idea what is there in the truck, they have no idea who is driving the truck, they have no idea where the hell the truck is going. They are just enjoying the ride, and feeling happy about getting paid. Infact, they have crowded the truck so much that nobody is able to see who's driving the truck and who's sitting idle.

After a while, truck reaches the destination. Smart ass sends a command to driver to stop the truck and he jumps out. The guy who knows how to start the truck joins him blindly as he was already told by the smart ass that this is our destination. The people on the truck, who were nothing but a burden, jumps from the truck coz the smart ass and his followers just did. The guy, who was driving the truck all the while, is confused why the hell truck is stopped here. He places the truck safely aside and comes out from the truck in last. But by the time, the crdit of bringing the truck to the place two safely, is already given to the smart ass and other ppl coz they were the first ones to be seen from outside.

Now there comes the payment time. The smart ass starts distributing the cash among the group. The guy who knows how to start the truck is paid highest amount coz he know very very important function (okay, that was on paper, actually he was paid maximum coz he always took smart ass's side and he kept his secrets.) Rest of the people, including the driver are paid the same amount. The driver claims that he did all the work, and he knows all the functions (how to start the truck, how to drive the truck) so he should paid almost equal to the same guy. The smart ass moves him away by saying that he is supposed to drive the truck. He doesnt need to bother about how to start the truck, coz that knowledge is not expected from him. Neither he was the first one to fall in actual receiver's feet.

Our frustrated skilled driver furiously runs away from this truck transport agency when he comes to know that all the time, he was bringing nothing but gold. and all he got paid is just a bloody truck driver's salary.

He goes to another truck driving agency and this time, he plays safe. before, taking the contract of driving the truck, he puts two conditions. (1) he'll start the truck and he'll drive the truck. (2) the agency will have to let him know wat's there in the truck, according to that, he'll charge for the driving job. The agency let's him take care of everything. They told him the destination, they told them there is gold in the truck. they paid him according to gold. When he reached the destination with truck, the actual receivers of the truck laughed at him, coz he was paid the gold amount but actually there were diamonds in the truck !!!

So our driver is saturated with frustration now and he decides not to drive the truck anymore. He opens his own truck driving agency and decides to play the smart ass from now on.

This is exactly the way IT industry works !

Black Dahlia

2008-04-11T03:19:00.012+05:30

Elizabeth Ann Short, also known as, the Black Dahlia was born on July 29, 1924, at Hyde Park, Massachusetts. Short was murdered on January 14, 1947. Her mutilated body was found in a vacant lot in a residential area of Los Angeles, CA. Short was identified through the FBI Identification Division files. Numerous persons were questioned in the murder of Short, but her killer was never found... - Words provided under Freedom of Information Privacy Act by Federal Bureau of Investigation, United States.

This is the latest mystery what has taken over my mind completely. How it started is, i watched this movie, The Black Dahlia, yesterday. There was a creepy twist after the climax and i couldn't understand that. So i googled for the movie and i came to know that the movie is based on a novel, The Black Dahlia by James Ellroy. i tried searching for some explanation about the twist and later i reached a webpage where it was stated that this Black Dahlia is not a fiction, it's a real murder case. Fine, it's ok till here. just for the curiosity, i used wikipedia to know more about the case and i spotted this line: About 60 people confessed to the murder, mostly men, as well as a few women !!! why the hell ?!?!?!? to know the answer, i dug more into this and finally, found that this case is one of the most mysterious murder case ever and so far, FBI and Los Angeles Police Department has not found the actual criminal !

Widely popular theory about Black Dahlia is: Elizabeth Short was among the abandoned five sisters and she lived her life on her own in Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, Massachusetts etc places, worked as a waitress and kept changing her apartments and hotels every two three weeks. She had a boyfriend Matthew Gordon, who was an Air Force pilot and a part of the 2nd Air Commandos in the China Burma India theater of operations. He used to write letters to her from India and she had a baby with him but it turned out to be a miscarriage. She was an amateur porn star and she was found dead on January 15, 1947 in Los Angeles. Her murder reached such a level of publicity that it involved hundreds of officers and thousands of suspects. It had became a trend to get involved in her murder case. Just to earn popularity, more than 60 people confessed that they have committed her murder. But till now, the murder has remained the mystery and nobody knows who killed her.

alright, here starts the interesting part. after googling for a while, i reached FBI website where i found complete investigation report of Elizabeth Short's murder. i mean, it's not a joke, it's a complete log-book of every damn thing about this murder !!! every press footage, right from her sample hair to her nails, her blood to DNA present in her cloths, details about every single evidence, all the information came in, all the information went out, entire history of Elizabeth Short, entire suspects' list, her all possible photographs including the ones shot at the crime site and trust me, each and every photograph is almost 80 years old and they're the scariest photographs i've ever seen !!! this report is more more more interesting and shocking than any Sidney Sheldon stuff. i ran through entire 204 pages document and read every single word about the crime. How the victim was identified, how she was tortured before the murder, how her face was ruined with sharp glass, how her face was brutally slashed when she was alive, how her body was sliced in two separate pieces, how her blood was drained from her body... it was more terrifying than any other suspense thriller i have seen so far !

Although, there were two three prime suspects who could have possibly killed her. One of them was a director from Hollywood who had quite a business of producing high standard whores and high society porn who used Elizabeth for his movies. Another suspect is a daughter of well known contractor from Los Angeles who was a lesbian and acted in porn movies with Elizabeth and raped her brutally on screen. But as per FBI report, it was medically proven that she never had sex in her life and neither any sex tapes were found by LAPD. But in later pages of the report, i read that the doctor who certified her virginity was among the suspects at a point of time, around 7 years after the murder. in fact, earlier it was stated that because of certain genetical disorder, she was suffering from infantile genitalia. That was proved fake by FBI medical officers but it could never help them to prove that she had a child with her boyfriend whom they could never trace as they believed he died in 2nd world war in India. Later, her boyfriend's family was contacted but they denied the fact that Elizabeth had any engagements Matthew Gordon. FBI had put every damn person linked to her on suspect list. Starting from the officers spotted her dead body first, officers who did the primary investigation, officers who were on duty in Hollywood, officers who were linked with the prostitutes living near by the crime site, the people from neighborhood, owners of the hotel where she worked, relatives of the sisters of hers and lot more ! Years after that, when FBI couldn't solve the case, they announced $10000 reward on confession, just for the sake of money and publicity, around 60+ people came forward. Not only that, but it was a competition among them who earns the reward and for that, several confessors were attacked by the other ones. After Elizabeth, two other murders were committed and it is believed that they were the real people connected with the actual murderer and to secure the reward, they were killed before they confessed the crime. There are couple of letters in FBI report flooded between Director of FBI and Social organisation heads on the topic of request not to publicize the case anymore as the psychological sickness of the murderer had started taking over the community.

I finished reading the FBI report and gave a last google and guess what? i landed on a website which claims that they have the solution for the Black Dahlia mystery ! i couldn't stop myself from clicking on the link and the chapters where i landed were more more strange, more more surprising and stunning. and of course, they were far more creepy than FBI report.

I closed that website and felt pity for her. She was hardly 14 when she started living by herself. when she was separated from her father, she was an asthma patient. There are a few photographs of her in the report when she's normal. She looked quite attractive, kiddish and innocent and ambitious. but in later sections, where it is explained line by line what she went through, her victimized photographs are posted on every single page. She looks freaking scary in those pages. Sexual psychopath who killed her, raped her multiple times with different sex gears. He tortured her worse than army torture and that too, for hours and hours. He mercilessly ripped her skin off the face. slowly trailed a knife from her mouth to her ears. sliced her body in two different pieces, and she was alive when he did all these !!! he drained her blood completely out of the body and left two pieces of hers aside the street. I was reading the documents alone in my apartment and there was nothing around me but dark and sounds of one cat crying outside. On screen, i had this blood lines printed and there was Elizabeth's chopped up face with crows biting her eyes in right bottom of the screen. i had no guts to turn my eyes up and look at any corner of the room. i had not blinked since a long time and neither i moved the page on my screen, and all of a sudden, an email alert came on screen with a sound ping and fuck !!! that scared the shit out of me !!! i missed couple of hart beats !!! that was the most horrifying moment ever !!! i mean, it's not like that horror stuff scares me. in fact, i've watched the highly ranked horror movie The Grudge alone in the apartment at 2 in night, but i'd been reading about last days of this girl whose murder is a real story, more scarier than any other thriller movie ! i am alone in my apartment nowadays and i have this haunted shelf right above my bed. When i am sleeping, i always get a feeling that someone is peeping from there. showing his half blurred face and staring into my eyes. The face somewhat looks exactly like Elizabeth's !

Fine, let's cut it here. I am deleting this report now and an advice: it's better to watch thriller movies rather than reading real murder investigation reports :)

Philandering Visions

2008-04-09T00:37:00.013+05:30

well, i absolutely had the opposite thing for this particular movie !!! something very opposite from the name. i was trying to watch this movie since almost 3+ years, but everytime something happened and i had dropped the idea. but finally, i could watch it this week, as i absolutely had nothing to do. but good that i didn't watch it before. when you want to learn the importance of the sun, u've gotta be in dark :)

This movie has an excellent production and direction. Everything about the movie is so positive. From starting till the end, the movie holds your lower half of face in a mysterious aspirant state of smile. Even though, in entire movie, both the characters are running behind their luck, everything falls in right place. There's no irritating contrast anywhere in the movie. All the frames are so colorful, so bright and so pleasant to eyes. While watching this movie, one would surely forget everything around him and get pulled into the immense positive energy of a good feeling. normally, it takes a life time to figure out what you can give and what you need, but after watching this movie, i felt like its all about choosing the right thing in the very moment. It's like now, or never. There are no long term plans. Not only that, there's no scope for somewhat, somehow. It's either full completely, or not at all. Neither you've gotta search for anything out there. All you need to do is, wait for the right time when u encounter your serendipity :)

This is another movie which i wanted to see desperately but never got a chance. Most significant thing about this movie (other than fantastic performance by both the lead role-players) is probably this is the first movie which has tried to touch upon a very different aspect of relationships. The time we consume to understand each other, and things we loose in those durations. Ppl come on a decision either without understanding or with understanding. in both the cases, there's a lot of transmission lozz involved, there're things being lost in the whole process. rather, best is, accept 'watever' it is, and that's the great fun of living life together, rather keep forcing urself to translate in other one's language, in other one's life style, in other one's attitude.

Trust me, you will never understand the movie when you watch it for the the first time. You need second view, or sometimes, even a third view to catch the essence of the movie. Another good thing about the movie Lost In Translation is the scenario, the situation ppl have been put up in. completely lost two ppl, trying to find some similarity in each other, and find themselves lost again. The ignorance they were running from, was the only common thing among them !!! the things what was troubling them from the outer worlds, they found the same in each other. and that too, they realised after translating themselves into each other's lives. isnt their something similar to our very own lives???

Lake House is completely contradicting movie from Lost In Translation. This is a movie about complete understanding of each other's personality rather than getting into physical details. It's another exciting series of good happenings. Things work out very well in the very first try, quite like fairy tales. Even though, it's one of the best romantic movies i've ever seen. The whole center of the story, Lake House, is quite like a common wish in everyone's life. all you have got to do is, finding the best companion who can accompany you till the end. and if the partner is well enough for you, who cares u reach the lake house or not !!!

One more eye catching point about the picturization is, there's only one scene when both the characters are in the same frame. otherwise, they're always in two different times, two different locations, far far away from each other. if there's something common between them, it's the lake house. Neither they insisted on having a physical face to face meeting. infact, they enjoyed a lot having offline dates !!! there was an essence of romance in the curiosity of knowing each other. something very innocent and something very cute :)

alright, so here was a glance of some very good romantic movies. watch them sometime, they'll make u feel good...

How to screw your date?

2008-04-03T17:27:00.006+05:30

Well well whhheeeelll.... this is not meant for all goodie goodie ppl out there... this post is for nerds n nuts... so execute at ur own risk :D

(O) hire a huge car to pick up your girl n offer lift to everyone around her... dont mind even if their destination is totally a different area. just drop all of them to their places n show ur girl how kind hearted u r !

(O) go to crowded most restaurant n change ur table at least seven times.

(O) reject the first five choices she makes from the menu by saying any the following execuses, extra points if u can cover all of them.

(O) flirt with the waitress !

(O) pin point every stupid movement of her when she's eating. make sure she doesnt eat more than 25% of what she has ordered. extra points of u can finish off 80% from her dish.

(O) introduce her to every damn person sitting around !

(O) ask her if she is interested in life insurance. extra points if u call the insurance customer care n get one policy for her !

(O) if there's a music system around, announce that u r dedicating one song for her n put himesh reshmaiya's song. extra points if u invite her on stage for dance.

(O) borrow her phone n dial any random international number. whoever takes the call, tell him that u r on a date. extra points if you can ask ur girl to talk to this person.

(O) ask her if she'd like to go back to home in public bus. extra points if u can make her change buses at least three times.

(O) carry table tennis racket and ping pong ball with you. ask her to play along with you on the dinner table. extra points if u make others join you if she's not ready to play.

(O) tell her there's something wrong on her face. ask her to go to restroom n wash her face. tell her sorry i was joking when she comes back.

(O) walk with your shoes in hands. make her do the same.

(O) go to perfume shop n try at least 13 different perfumes on her. then tell her u r stinking go n bath.

(O) take a newspaper along with you, that too, printed in such a language what she doesnt understand. everytime she's talking something romantic, ask her to wait till u finish the article. if she still doesnt, send her an SMS saying shut your mouth for a while.

(O) carry a pet along with you n ask her to take care of it. extra points if you have a goat or baby cow as your pet.

(O) ask her if she can play chess with you. say i am not interested if she agrees to play.

(O) propose another girl right in front of her.

(O) ask her the address of some place, where it is. then ask her to wait in the restaurant meanwhile, u go to that place and confirm watever address she gave is correct or not.

(O) carry kachhua chhap agarbatti along with you. light one of them and use in place of candle.

(O) while she's having romantic most conversation, stop her n call your neighbours to confirm there's no gas leakage in your apartment. extra points if you can call her neighbours for the same reason. bonus points if you can make her wait there n go back home to verify it personally.

Let's sketch !

2008-03-16T19:16:00.016+05:30

Here goes my first photo blog !!! ok, i dont know wat exaclty i should call it. they r paintings, but not hand made. i used Adobe Fireworks to draw them. basically, u form a character with basic lines. draw very basic required objects n use them multiple times for different scenario/situation. and as u have something called computer with u, u can just keep copy pasting ur characters n keep changin their facial expressions to put them in different mood. this is one the thousands ways of painting in market. anyway, screw that. i just tried to come up with a storyboard n so far, this is wat i have completed. i couldnt add more scenes in that. anyway, let's see them one by one. i've tried to explain the cut-out-animation funda used in each one. n ya, feel free to copy and use, but just let me know before you do that.

This is a simple chracter building pic. basically, u r deciding how many motion points are available in each character to alter their mood/expression. for an example, in above pics, the motion points are: eyes, shap of lips, gap between legs and that's it... everytime u need them to express something different, just keep altering these positions. okay, stop staring at her #@@#$ !!! ;)

Now, in this one. u can easily figure out who was waiting outside and who is coming with what. not only that, given the crossed legs of girl n shy but happy eyes of her, explains she wouldnt have appreciated anything else more than this !!!

ok here, the spaceship is leaving towards the earth, so it's pretty clear that they've just landed on moon. ya, it's moon and that u can figure out from the name of spaceship. n diamond ring and candle says it's a date... the happiness on their faces adds more to it.

now, here by looking at that female's eyes n size of her stomach, u can guess she's pregnant n needs medical attention. n by looking at that idiot playing with toys, u can believe it's all his mistake !!! btw, the chinese name i used just to make fun of those chinky ppl :D

well, here, if see. all the graves are plain except one. the one with red cross. now, u would have observed by now that somehow that red color is always attached with this couple. and hence, even though it is not mentioned, its kinda clear that this grave with red cross belongs to that woman. n the newspaper explains it was all coz of a planecrash. n ya, notice the eyes n lips of the guy.

okkaay, in this last one. It's moon outside the window and clock says its 2:20 and hence it's midnight. too technical. there's vodka aside, night lamp is turned on, half of the bed is empty and one pillow is unused. guy's face is frustrated. one other stuff here is, if u see carefully, still her fav color red is used at places. that means the girl was kinda dominating in all house-hold stuff.

fine, that's it. i m not a professional so dont know much funda... hope, i ll come up with some new sketches very soon. so taa taaaa.

Days of ragging

2008-03-16T04:39:00.016+05:30

i was talking to a friend of mine today, and there came a topic of ragging. that reminded me my days when i was a victim of that dirty-but-necessary game.

well, my ragging had typical phases. i ll describe them one by one. mostly, they r interesting given u r not playing the first person role !!!

just like other few ppl, i was two and half months late to join the campus, thanks to politically planned riots planted in my sweetheart city and delayed board exams. by the time i joined, mostly, everyone had faced ragging at lest once and they all were aware of rules and regulations set by the seniors. in the beginning of 1st semester, Agate hostel had received a list of DOs and DO NOTs from the seniors that was published on the public notice board. few of the rules were like, we were not allowed to wear funky stuff. in fact, all juniors were supposed to wear slippers, non-cargo-and-jeans trousers, formal shirt with full sleeve. they were not supposed to carry wrist watches, mobile phones, wallets etc. as juniors, we were not allowed to use Octagon, canteen, snacky etc. we werent allowed to stare at rarely visible species called senior babes, or the NIT way - maals. mmmmm, then then. ya, we werent allowed to use dhaabas at gate as another option for dinner. we werent allowed to smoke in campus and buy sutta from gate.

those were the rules when we were away from seniors. now, while interacting with seniors we were supposed to call them sir if male, mam if female. everytime any senior meets us for the first time, we were supposed to give them our intro. intro had a typical format. we all were supposed to speak out our intro in three languages: English, the global lingo, Hindi, the national lingo and state language. not only that, u r supposed to talk in the language ur seniors starts talking in. n if u abuse any of ur senior, that's the worst crime ever !!!

n ya, we had a scoring system. If your senior slaps u on your mistake, ur score is added by one. whenever any senior asks your score, u r supposed to answer zero, if he asks actual score, u r suppoed to give the actual count.

n one highly memory demanding rule was, we were supposed to remember full name, city, year and branch for everyone from our states. for me, there were 60 ppl at that time from my state n i had to remember all these !!!

so, other than these, there was a huge list of rules n stuff. i tried to mug everything i could n was praying that my ragging is not that hard wat i heard from others. initially, it wasnt bad actually. in fact, i enjoyed a lot. typical question any senior will ask is, guess my state. now, they will ask this in a language wat is definitely not theirs !!! a bengoli guy asking you in punjabi wat is state !!! obviously first guess u ll make is punjab n end up increasing ur score by one ! but it was fun guessing their state. insult anybody by guessing his state bihaar :P lolz...

my first offical call (ya, when seniors call you to come to their hostel or any other place for raggin, it's called a call !) was in diamond hostel, where one of my state senior n his friend called me n other neighbour from my wing for ragging. they didnt ask for intro, they didnt ask to guess their state. first question i was asked was - "wat is ur score?" i said zero. they asked actual? i again said zero. n they were surprised, its been three months n still zero??? slap slap slap... now, my score was 20. next question, how many buttons r there in ur shirt? i forgot to consider sleeves and i said six... slap ... now, score was 21. one of them offered me a sutta. i said i dont smoke. slaaaap...!!! n that was a fucking 180 degree slap (the kind of slap when u stretch ur hand back almost 180 degree before delivering it with a full swing). one of the reason was seniors knew that i dont smoke, i needed not mention it. other reason was i denied an offer from senior. one more reason was when i was asked that question, i was looking at a group of almost 200 kashmiri babes marching between Agate and Diamond hostel who had landed to our campus few weeks back for NCC camp. (those days were like, female gender was a rare species to see live in front of eyes !!! ppl felt it personally that when we were back in home in vacations, we used to notice even kaamwaali bai for a while :D) n then they asked my hobby. i said, rock climbing. they made me climb the room window n touch the ceiling n stay in that position for two mins. i lost the best by almost 30 seconds n my score got the same hike !!! that was sad, n that was funny, coz some of those highly fair kashmiri babes had already started staring at that room window n one creature stuck on that !!!! by the time, they guy who was with me had reached the score of 49 for watever reasons. then, they asked me to kiss the other guy. i refused n so they asked the other guy to slap me coz i rejected him for kiss !!! n then he slapped me, so i was asked to slap him coz he slapped me !!!! this game went on and on for a while n they asked us our updated score.... we both had lost the count n so we got one one more slap...finally, when we came out of the hostel when the call was over, our scores were equal n 50...

so, that was my first call. the 2nd one took place very recently after that. our seniors asked all of us one question, who is the biggest chutya among the seniors. i was also asked the same question by the same guy, only difference is i tried to be stud n said "sir u r the biggest chutya !!!" when everyone else had chose to answer "none". n then he asked me why??? i said, u senior guys r with each other since more than a year n even now u dont know who the biggest chutya !!! thats it, that senior got psyched n slammed more than ten 180 degree on my right cheek. that did hurt really !!!

after that, i accidenlty landed up with a call. it was the time of sarsvati pooja n i also visited the temple with few other juniors just to enjoy sweet rasgullas. a senior girl from my city saw me there. she n her boyfrn caught me n took aside in a corner. she asked me for the intro as this was the first time i was caught by her. i started with the usual intro in hindi as her boyfrn was not a gujju.

"Mam, mera naam bla bla bla. main vidyut abhiyantriki (thats the hardcore hindi for electrical & electronics engineering) shaakha ke pratham varsh main abhyaas karta hu. mere baap ka naam ..bla bla bla... main gujarat raajya ke vadodara sheher se hu. meri abhiruchi sangit sunanaa tatha ganan yantra (computer) pe khel khelna hai. (i had changed my hobby to a simpler one after that window-ceiling incident.)"

"woh sab chhod. wat's ur frequency???"

now i was shocked, coz by now, i knew wat does frequency mean in that campus n i didnt expect such question from a girl. so i didnt answer anything for a while. by now, two more girls had joined them... i was wondering normally it was hard to see something called girl around n all of a sudden, when i was caught, god knows from where all the birds decided to land in front of me !

"saale, chup kyo hai. bol na. sharamaa mat..." - the newly arrived bitches yelled at me. i knew both of them. one was a bengoli pardaadi (four years senior then me) n one was a daadi from my city.

finally, i said one.

"one kya?!?!? one per day, one per week, one per month or one per life !!! unit kaun tera baap bataayega !!!!???"

i said - "one per day mam." i didnt want any panga with these girls coz i knew, if i ll screw up here, her boyfrn is gonna screw me in hostel calls !!!

"bout whom do u fantasize???" - another counter question.

i thought for a while n i couldnt think of even one single name !!!! i finally found Sophia Haq lucky enough...!!! god knows from where that name came in mind.

"aur koi achchi nahi lagti tujhe???? she looks sooooo ghatiya !!! tell me her figure in hexadecimal."

"i dont know mam." i hardly reassembled her face at that time.

"saale, negative answer deta hai !!! score badhvaana hai kya?" - finally her boyfrn spoke...

"hmmm. so ur frequency is one. done for today???"

now that was a weird question. i chose to answer no.

"that means, right now ur frequency is not exaclty one. is less than one. u should get one slap right now." those bitches were damn good with technicalities !

"no mam. i ll balance it." - shit, why did i say that !

"kya??? aaj sarswati pooja hai. ek din nahi reh sakta kya !!!!???" - another counter attack...!

now, i had nothing to say. if i agree to do it, i m insulting sarswati pooja and those sweet rasgullas n if i deny to do that, i ll end up with slaps from these bitches coz of giving wrong frequency count !

"wat r u staring at??? pehle kabhi ladki nahi dekhi kya???" well, that was true. i was in a cursed campus ! i again stood silent.

"score kya hai tera?"

"zero mam."

"actual score?"

"63 mam."

one of those bitches suddenly turned Mother Teresa asked me "kuchh jyaada hi hai !!! canteen chalega?"

now again, as a junior, i wasnt allowed to visit canteen. n i cant even say no this offer otherwise i ll get slapped !!! finally, i chose to go with them to canteen for something nice to eat n i was totally fed up with mess food !!! but i got the reflections back in night call to senior hostel as i broke the rule. n that day my score reached about 70.

after that, on the day of FTR (final touch ragging), seniors asked me to speak an interesting essay about postal cover. that was pretty simple n i narrated it something like this:
"Postal cover is 10 inches long and 3 inches wide. We have to lick postal before closing it. we have to put a stamp on right top side of postal cover. girls send rakhi in postal cover to their brothers. postman delivers lot of postal covers everyday."

done. the very next thing they asked me to do is replace postal cover with my dad's condom and repeat the same essay !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n condition was, i have to speak it without laughin. they ll slap me everytime i ll laugh !!! shit... i was totally screwed while i repeated the essay. in he begining, my score was 70, n at the end, my score reached an amazing count of 182, later that was rounded up to 190 just like that !!!

damn, but those ragging days were fun, except the scores part.

Andhere mein ek saaya

2008-03-15T05:04:00.005+05:30

aaj maine apni raah mein ek saaya dekha
apne aap se uljha, apne aap ko sambhaalta dekha
chand andhere lamho mein khud ko mitaata dekha
roshani hone par fir maine use apne saath dekha

ujaalo ke bawandar mein khushi ka woh sailaab dekha
kohre ki dhoondh mein bhi maine use zinda dekha
dopahar ki dhoop mein maine use haara hua dekha
doobte sooraj ke saamne maine use badhta hua dekha

har rang ko kaale rang main lootaate hue dekha
har awaaz ko gumnaam sannate mein bhoolaate hue dekha
beete kal ko guzarati raat mein jalaate hue dekha
usi aag mein khud ko buland banaate hue dekha

use maine har ujaagar mashaal ko daraate hue dekha
lekin ek bujhe andhere mein use maat khaate hue dekha
us saaye ne mujhe bhi shaayad isi halaat mein dekha
aankhe band kar li toh maine usme apne aap ko dekha

Hitchhiker's guide to urinal

2008-03-09T07:10:00.015+05:30

Ever faced a confusion of which urinal to choose when u have multiple options??? i mean, once u r inside a public urinal, obviously u'd face this situation. questions like, how to avoid someone using the urinal right next to u, how to avoid awkward situation when the very next person is your boss bla bla bla.

so, here we start. let's consider it's a urinal for male as i have never been into the other one. (okay, that was just once and that too by accident !!! :D ) in a typical scenario, u'll have five urinals awaiting for u. the only strategy working behind this selection and that is, maintain maximum buffer from ur urinal buddies. so, here is the guideline for how to choose the best one !

1) assume there is none else other than you. in such cases, u should pick either extreme right or extreme left one. so that, the person coming next behind you, has the maximum choices to be as far as possible. dont take the first one even if u r too lazy to walk all the way to the fifth one or nature's call is on tooooo short notice, coz if u pick the first one, ppl entering from door might disturb ur privacy...!

2) consider, already there is one one person in each of the corner. in that case, obviously, to avoid anyone of them to be next to you, you'd think to pick the third one, so that second and fourth place remains as buffer between everyone. but but but, what if someone comes right after you!!!?!? he's to pick either second one or the fourth one. in that case, u r trapped doesnt matter whichever he selects coz both the places r next to u !!! so, u should wait for either 1st place or last place to be empty and pick anyone of them. now, if a second person comes, he can pick the third one keeping a buffer between everyone. n if u r lucky, the fifth one will also be vacated by the time someone lands in n then he'll have two more choices other than the third one, that is fourth one and fifth one.

3) assume u have the fifth one occupied and remaining ones are available. so, u'll tend to choose the first one to keep maximum buffer. but watch out !!! do u want to be exposed to those ones who're gonna enter after u ??? i mean, first one is always near the door right??? so u should pick any urinal but the fourth one and first one. so, the choices u should pick is second one or the third one.

4) assume u have first one and second occupied. so, choices u have is third, fourth and fifth. one obvious choice u'd make is the fourth one, keeping one buffer on both the sides. but dude, that's a wrong pick. coz, the very next person entering after u is gonna take either third, or fifth and gonna land next to u. so u better take the fifth one, so that u have assured privacy from at least one side, that is the wall side.

5) consider u have six urinals and second one, fourth one and sixth one are occupied. in such cases, u should pick the first one rather picking third one or the fifth one. because in third one and fifth one, it's sure that ur privacy is gonna be disturbed !!!

6) now, assume all five are occupied n u desperately need to be at nature's service. in that case, identify whom do u know most out of those five n start talkin to him !!! reach really close to him n talk bout something really striking which can pull his attention totally !!! if possible, pat his back for no reasons !!! he'll surely give up watever he's doing and urinal is urs !!!!

7) assume, u have first one and fourth one occupied. in this case, none of the urinal is useful as in any case, u ll have at least one person next to u. so, u might think of picking the fifth one as there is a wall next to it. but buddy, u r in a cosmo/metro city n there r chances that the guy standing at the first one might think that u r bi-curiously interested in the guy standing at the fourth one !!!! so better pick the second one or the third one. in fact, pick the second one and give disgusting looks to the guy standing at first one. that will make sure none else gets wrong opinion about u !!!!

8) assume u r target of trick six. i mean, u r using a urinal n someone wants to kick u out. in that case, you should display the pleasure u r getting out there. as soon as someone comes near u to kick u out, start moaning in those pleasure sounds. oh yeaaaaahhhhh, oh gooooood...!!! then the new guy will realise how much do u need that urinal n he wont bother u much !

9) now, ur urinal buddy standing next to u is bothering you so much by asking arbit questions, breaking ur concentration from enjoying the most important pleasure in life. to get rid of such weirdo, ask him "so, howz ur wife ????"

10) now, assume all the urinals are occupied n u desperately need one, and that too with privacy. in such cases, open the door n leave it opened... as wide as possible. n stand right between the door n start saying hi to all the friends outside the rest room... call them near n u n start talkin to them...!!! surely ppl inside the urinal will feel really uncomfortable n leave the place as soon as possible...!!!

11) if u want to irritate someone, offer him handshake right after unzipping ur fly :D

all the tricks listed here are well tested by reputed society representatives and they have been put well in practice. If you are having any other strategies, please post them in comment n do a favor to humanity !!!

I Need One Last Bullet

2008-03-09T05:56:00.003+05:30

hey you, the enemy
say hi, come near me
blink, wash that guilt
face me, point me, aim me

we've fought thru the grounds
carved our skins with eternal wounds
our blood trails are tangled parallel
be with me, hear the shootout sounds

show your face beneath the white flag
lips are frozen eyes are behind in lag
silence cant beat your voices
not those promises we're missing a gag

there are people by your side
on the darker side of border
the same darkness has faded here wide
i am the only count from any order

sugar is brown, the grass is green
don't give me coc, i need heroin
serve your duty, before it's too late
set me free, i need one last bullet

Sweet Dreams

2008-02-04T02:39:00.002+05:30

ppl have always reacted that my dreams r really weird and ajeeb everytime i told them bout wat dreams i got !!! dude, dreams are supposed to be ajeeb, coz u have no control on them !!! they r just influenced by wat u keep thinking thru the day !!! i believe everytime u r sleeping, ur brain is divided into three different parts. one, who's playing an active role, as a first person in your dreams. second one, who analyses ur physical situation and drives the entire game plan of the dream. and third one, is always monitoring the dreams as an inactive third person. now, to make it more simpler, i ll give u an example. u r sleeping and ur hand is stuck somewhere. may be, right beneath ur heavy body or may be under the pillow or anywhere. now, in ur dream, u might try to move ur hand so hard but get no success. because the second part of the dream who is montoring ur physical state, just doesnt late u move it. it becomes the part/rule of the dream that u just cant move ur hand !!! now, ur first part of the brain, who's playing the lead character in the dream, is scared coz he's not able to move the hand. but third part of the brain who's been spectating other two parts consoles the first part that dont worry, it's just a dream !!!

now, it can work in the reverse order as well. say, for an example, ur 2nd part of the body, who's designed a rule that u can not move ur hand, but ur first half of the brain is not able to accept that, and somehow manages to move ur hand in the dream. now, the second part of the brain, who had just decided upon a rule which didnt work, has to change ur physical state accordingly, just to align ur dream and real physical state in the same direction. n that's why sometimes ur hand just bangs on anything while u r asleep. in this case, ur third part of the brain simply doesnt execute it's function of keeping other two parts of the brain aware bout it's just a dream. i guess, this is the correct explanation for those who have a habit of falling down from bed or for those who walk when they r asleep !!! there are well known cases when ppl have killed someone when they were asleep. not only that, this could be an explanation behind nocturnal ejaculation !!!

watever, that is my theory bout dreams and i believe in that, coz i've experienced it ! anyway, i started this post to list down some of the weird/funny dreams of mine. so here it goes:

1) as far as i remember, it was the time of 5th sem. we had an exam in the afternoon and as i had signed up for the subject, i was supposed to attend the exam. it was around 11 and we had the exam starting in another hour. my friend, who already guessed i was sleeping, started calling me to wake me up. now, in my dream, i was sitting with a family (or at least, a bunch of creatures who looked like a family) and discussing on some very serious issue. and i was feeling like someone is calling me again and again and asking bout wat happened finally? u decided or not... i cant remember anymore what happened it the dream, but i got up at 4 in the afternoon and i had missed the exam. my frn, who was calling me at 11, came to my room and showed one SMS wat i sent to him when he was calling me. the SMS said - "Haathi ready nahi hua hai abhi, baaraat kal nikaalenge..."

2) a few days back, i found myself stuck in a corner of the room and was totally scared !!! i was sitting with an empty bottle of good night liquidator and there were lot of giant mosquitos flying around inside the room...

3) one day, a frn of mine came to my room to wake me up. but i didnt get up. after sometime, i went to his room and he told me that when i was asleep, i was murmuring and asking - "Stapler de. Haathi ki taang toot gayi hai..."

4) once, i was trying hard to kick a balloon in my dream. but everytime, i was missing the shot. and somebody was like telling me everytime i kicked the balloon that u cant kick the balloon coz there is no air in !!! later, when i got up, i realised that my leg was somehow, stuck with the edge-pipe of the bed !

5) once, i saw two colleagues knocking my door in dream. i opened the door, and i saw these colleagues with huge baggages with them. i asked them wat r u doing here. they asked me if i am interested in buying their Baygon anti mosquito spray.

6) once, in my dream, i was suffering from terrible cold and i had one tablet of VIKS. i checked the expiry date and figured out it had expired three years back. then, i tried a lot to rotate clock hands in reverse in order to reach three years back in the time and have that tablet to get rid of that cold !!!

7) this one, was the funniest i guess. wat happened is was sitting on one the computers in Octagon internet lab and browing some websites. i felt like broadband speed is not constant. its again and again going high and falling down. to figure out wat the heck is going on, i traced the LAN cable and reached inside the server room. There i found one lab assistant of mine who had fixed one rheostat in series with the LAN cable. wat he was doing is he was varying the rheostat resistance and hence, the broadband speed was changing again and again !!!

8) this one was romantic. i was on a date and i was at the dinner table with my partner. We ordered something and the waiter served us one tall and thin glass of some drink. i asked the girl to look inside wat is it and she fell inside !!! i tried to save her a lot but she just disappeared inside the glass !!!

9) once, of course, in a dream, i totally disassembled my body to wash properly and was trying hard to assemble it back. i was kinda successfull but had lot of troubles in fixing my leg back !!!

10) in one of the dreams, i had a huge force of dogs running behind to kill me... while running, i sold all the dogs to someone else and they started running behind him !!!

11) one friend of mine had an ajeeb dream. inside the room, he was hiding behind the door inside the room. and door was a little open. there was lot of water outside the room, something like the room was in the center of the sea! there were huge elephants swimming around the room and wat this frn was doing it, he was throwing coconuts to those elephants and everytime it hit any of the elephant, he was shouting - "Haathi ka chutya kat gaya !!!!"

allright, i cant remember anymore. so good night and sweet dreams :)

That 13 bucks bet

2007-12-18T05:39:00.002+05:30

"no yaar. i m not goin to call her again... she hasnt picked even a single call of mine in last two months !!! chutya hu kya main jo call karta rahu usko...!!!"

that frustrated voice of richin was boosted even more in that silent wing of agate hostel, also known as first year hostel. i was kinda new to this guy, or rather, this guy was kinda new to me. it was a bit hard to understand him. i didnt try actually. i was always jealous of this pretty charming looking guy with fair gujju-rajasthaani looks, given i had all geeky bhojpuri rapist like looks in that first year. but, i tried to chill down that new friend of mine, in my own way obviously.

"cool hai yaar. kal dekh lenge. it's too late. we have to hit the class at 8:30 in morning." - i showed him that idiotic clock tower peeping from main admin block onto all over the campus n tried my best to avoid sem-end-short-attendance-fine.

"ghanta dekh lenge. i've been mailing her everyday. no reply at all. i call her every now n then... no answer at all !!! itna bhi kya bhaav kha rahi hai."

"i bet she is calling u in 24 hours. lagi 13 rupye ki shart ???" - i still dont understand why i love that figure of 13 !!!

"what u'll do to make her call me in 24 hours!!!!! u dont even know her. naam bhi nahi pata tujhe uska..." - richin was still unaware that he's also on the list whose passwords i had hacked by that time.

"u dont worry... i'll do something. woh sab mujhe pe chhod de."

n we ended that day there. instead of room, i headed to octa. i entered the netlab n opened yahoo mail. i searched for richin's password in my top secret database, where there were other n at least 5999 yahoo IDs n password, sneaked by one automated smart n simple but excellent script written by me. i logged in richin's mailbox n composed a love letter on behalf of ~~my friend~~ richin (ya, he wasnt that close to be called a friend at that time). i had gained really good experience in writting fake request letters for leave in school days, but love letter was kinda new stuff. i gave my best shot.

Hi Sweetheart (if that sweetness hasnt dissolved by now),

listen, let's talk straight. we havent talked since a long time for no reason. i mean, there has to be some reason and i dont know that. so just for the sake of letting me know, do call me once. by the way, i m sure u r fine. i guess, u would definitely ask me the same question. I M NOT AT ALL FINE !!! thank god that this campus has evergreen grass available at anytime, unlimited. that helps in killing time without u. rest will talk in call. hope, will get to talk to u soon.

n i typed her email address n clicked on send. it was 6 in the morning by that time. after a long time, i got to see rising sun. i smiled n went to my room. the 6:30 alarms were ringing there, i banged on one of them, plugged in girly rock Linkin Park CD in my ears n jumped in my bed. after some infinite seconds, i felt highly charged kicks on my ass. i suddenly woke up n saw the clock. it was 4 in the afternoon.

"dijjay uth saale !!!" - that was richin who kicked my ass several times to wake me up. he looked happier than 100% attendance holder !!!

"shit man !!! 7 classes bunk ho gayi aaj ki... fuck !!!"

"abey maa chudaaye class... just now i got call from her !!!!"

"sahi !!! see, i told ya... 24 hours !!! fall in my feet !!! my 13 bucks !!!???" - that was a great achievement after a lazy sleep which had just costed me 7 classes.

"woh sab baad main... she said come online, i want to talk to u. cant talk over the phone right now."

"cool hai fir... u go. dont want to be kabaab main haddi. n anyway, i m hungry... catch ya later." - i hated sharing those aalo bhujiya with anybody in those days, specially with new but familiar faces like richin.

after having that pet pooja, n saving water which i could have used to bath, i headed to net lab of octa. i was very much curious bout what they're going to talk. will she mention bout the mail i sent as richin? though, i had already deleted it from richin's sent box. i knew richin's password so it was easy to track his chat history. i logged in into the chatroom n started monitoring their chat from another corner of net lab.

she - hi
he - hi
she - listen, i have something to tell u. watever u r doin there; smokin, drinkin or anythin. i dont care a damn bout it.
he - wat???
she - n one more thing. there's nothing between u n me like it used to be when u were here in baroda. u r too different now.
he - but we had a great time together. wait, are u breaking up with me?
she - it's over. i've got better company here n i guess, now it'd be good for both of us if we forget each other.
he - but...
she - there's no point in talkin anymore
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
he - but we're still friends right?
she - i guess no. we better never talk again.

n there they logged out. i was so lucky that in that one and half hour long chat, nowhere she mentioned about that blasting email from richin (rather me)... i walked towards him, n scrolled thru the chat history on his computer just to make sure that he doesnt realise that i already knew it. i held his shoulder n asked him to come back to room. i had just witnessed one live break up of this guy about whom i hardly knew much. i couldnt see his dull face. that guilty feeling running in my veins made me confess my crime. that ended up with my first and last fight in that campus. i didnt fight at all from my side, though, we ran into some very serious arguments over that chick. the last lines were,

richin - u should have asked me at least once before writting that bullshit...!!! i have never lied to her in my life !!! i never thought being a friend u'd do something like this.
me - dude !!! i did the best i could. if that chick doesnt like u anymore, i cant help.
richin - fuck u dijjay... go to hell.

n then, though we were roommates, we never spoke to each other for another 15-20 days. by that time, i had her password as well. just for the curiosity n my kameena blood group, i was browsing thru her mailbox. i read some mails which were sent-received in duration of last one year n the suspense revealed. she was fooling him since a long time !!! that mail of mine was not the culprit at all !!! it was just a jackpot opportunity for her to break up with him officially. this gave me a nice excuse to screw those guilty feelings. i just forwarded her password to richin n asked him to check some mails in her account.

i was waiting for him in my room. he took much much longer than i expected. he entered inside but didnt say anything. neither i said sorry, nor he said thanks. we both were looking for a start to talk. suddenly soumik, who had just entered after richin, asked - i heard u guys had fight. wat happened?

i said - ye chutya 13 rupye ki shart haar gaya aur ab mere 13 rupye nahi de raha. saala gareeb kahi ka... aukaat hai nahi aur aa jaate hai shart lagaane.

that last line made me n richin burst into a drastic laughter that soumik could never understood. all he understood is that me-richin-fight thing was just another rumour in hostel. but that laughter of us, witnessed some really bold, beautiful & delicate moments of friendship in coming years which were far far more unrealistic than actual rumours.

Vistaaaaaaaaaaahhh !

2007-12-12T23:19:00.005+05:30

so, i have been trying vista since my 6th sem, that was mid 2005, initially BETA n now ALPHA, but so far, my opinion about vista hasnt change. n that is, vista sucks !!! n answers to ur why are here:

1) That son of a bitch Bill thinks that all vista users r dumb idiots like american blonds. most irritating thing bout vista is it asks for confirmation every now n then. "R u sure?" or "Do you really want to do this???!!!" good that they have implemented something called UAC (User Access Control) to avoid this irritating security check.

2) n it doesnt ask for confirmation when u accidently click on shut down !!!

3) it has lot of issues with detecting other vista/xp systems on LAN. it gives troubles to Internet Connection Sharing also.

4) it's pretty easy to crack desktop user's password in vista. (dont ask me how, i m not gonna tell that !!!)

5) it doesnt integrate gtalk service with talk link displayed in orkut.

6) it doesnt remember cookies from lot of websites. in simple terms, "Remember Me" will not work for lot of websites, including blogger n gmail et al.

7) it does lot of things in background without notifying the user, n most of them r useless.

8) it doesnt give transparent account of hard disk space. u'll find a lot of GBs from ur hard drive missing !!!

9) most irritating thing bout vista is it doesnt spare even a single MB from RAM for back up. that means, if an application is frozen, u have to wait until it is invoked back. u cant even launch task manager to kill that process !!!

10) boot time is too much (around 180 seconds) even on 1 GB RAM CPU !!!

11) Windows Media Center is the worst product from microsoft. it is not able to play most common file formats.

12) there is no option to hibernate in vista powered laptops. instead, they have given sleep which doesnt sleep properly. it keeps the power LEDs blinking even when laptop is closed !!!

13) when u r playing any video file, the so called Aero Theme is disabled. that means, if u dont play movies using windows media player, u wont get live previews in taskbar.

14) doesnt matter how much microsoft fights, they cant beat UI effects of Macintosh.

15) most of the hardware resources r sucked by vista, nothing is left for games, who really deserve hardware.

16) without Aero Theme, vista looks like hand-drawing by 2nd grade kid !!!

17) vista is not able to run most of the types of games. so hardcore gamers, vista is not for u...

18) vista is fucking costly !!! u can buy a full fleged CPU if u avoid buying vista ultimate edition.

19) only the newer versions of Norton AntiVirus are compatible with vista. so if u have bought norton in days of xp, u will have to pay once again.

20) microsoft will never be able to find out whether the copy of vista u r using is genuine or not :D

21) xp looks better than vista when we install vista theme !!! u can see ur self... just do urself a favour of downloading the full size full resolution photo from right panel when the album page opens.

22) the last reason, watch this video !!!!

Orkutism

2007-12-09T05:11:00.001+05:30

Orkut !!! the most popular social networking portal on the internet. Orkut was rolled out for public on 22nd January of 2004. Orkut Buyukkokten created orkut and he created the very first community on orkut,Stanford University . he invited ppl from his close circle to join the network and then, there started a chain of invitations among universities. from india, IITs were the first to catch that fire, so the NITs were.

i joined orkut in feb 2004, the mid days of 3rd semester. Those days, hardly anybody had heard of orkut n most important, orkut was the least important thing on the internet. today also, its kinda interesting in checking the very first scrap from last in someone's scrapbook to see when he/she joined orkut. i was among those three idiots from my campus who recieved orkut invitation from three different sources. when i joined orkut, among the asians, most of the users were from Pakistan. n ya, brazilians were in a large number in those days too, they r in large number today also. due to low capcity of orkut server, there was a concept called Jail. If u do too much of activities in a single day like sending too many scraps, adding too many friends etc, they suspend ur account temporarily and ur profile pic will turn into a pic of jail. it would take some three four days to come back to normal. coz of this jail-hell, i had to recreate my account three times, n that too, it was hard to manage an invite for orkut. Just like Gmail. (ya, i m proud to say i was among first three users from college who got gmail invitation in May 2004, right after a month when gmail was launched :D) in those days, there were websites who were selling gmail and orkut invites !!! ppl were trying their best to find someone who can do a meherbaani to them by inviting them to this google world.

Google had taken the referral marketing approach to publicise these two products of them. nobody can get into orkut from outside. one is supposed to be invited by existing user. that means, the one who invites a new user will definitely pass on the information about how great orkut/gmail is. and hence, google itself doesnt have to advertisement for orkut/gmail, but the users themselves do that. and not only that, existing user will not pass the invite to anybody just like that, he will invite only those ppl who are needy, and who deserve to be on orkut. that spares google from looking for customers individually. The existing customers were doing that job. and as a result, today almost entire teen generation is on orkut. orkut has become an inseparable part of indian youth. orkut profile is more imporatant than ID card today !!! no other social network has gained popularity like this. Due to its simple, slick and sexy looking theme, orkut was not at all harmful for eyes. Moreover, its not at all complex to be used.

In the beginning, orkut had very few features like scrapping, message, bookmark, communities etc. it was fun in checking out how u r connected to someone coz there very few ppl on orkut in those days. now, its too hard to find the connection !!! not only that, if u go to "my friends", the arrangement of friends will have specific color code in the background depending upon how close u r. now, that feature has been removed i guess. over the years, lots and lots features have been added to orkut and only those ppl realise it who are using orkut from the time it was born. the latest feature happens to be Friend's Map, which i guess, is not available to all users currently. Friends Map are targeted for locating friends on the earth easily. u can click on any city and it will let u know how many of ur friends are there. Chill guys, it will take some time to be available to u. I have heard they r planning for mobile version of orkut useful for ppl who suck their GPRS like anything. seems like one complete generation is changing on orkut. Those, who joined orkut in college days r not in college anymore. Lot of ppl in in my frnlist have changed their status to married/committed from single !!! ppl, who were just flirting on orkut with opposite sex profile are using orkut for contact maintenance only. orkut has spreaded out of teen generation and has started taking over the older generation as well. not only that, since the day media ppl like journalists, actors/artists have started getting invite for orkut, this network has taken onto a political stand. ppl really think that orkut is being used to offence someone politically/religiously. come on folks !!! orkut is still a way to kill time... why the hell ppl take it so seriously !!! ppl blamed orkut when a girl was murdered by her boyfrn. this is the same orkut who helped to crack down one rave party in Pune. Indian youth is taking political decisions on orkut. This is too much !!! before loggin into orkut, one should never forget orkut is just for fun. it should be used carefully. the worst thing is trusting someone blindly on orkut. ppl fall in love with someone whom he has never met !!! dude, get real !!! u cant marry an orkut profile !!! orkut is just a good start to get in touch with someone, may be, to explore him/her a bit more. but after that, have to move ur ass from in front of pc n get into the real world.

remember: be a part of orkut, dont let orkut be a part of urs !!!

Clandestine Coochicoo in Chennai

2007-12-05T14:21:00.001+05:30

I READ THIS ARTICLE ON JAM-MAG. SCREW THE COPYRIGHTS, I M PASTING IT HERE !!!

--

"Clandestine" applies to the lovers, not to the guide, in case you thought otherwise.

If you and your clandestine louw partner are the twin towers of romance, the city of Chennai is the metaphorical plane (or plain) that is likely to crash into both of you. The city's conservatism is mostly harmless, but when it comes to matters of amour, it almost forces lovers to say "So long and thanks for all the fish" and escape to the restaurant at the end of the universe.

It's almost as if most of the maamaas in Chennai are like Zaphod Beeblebrox, one head solving the Hindu newspaper crossword while the other is busy scanning beaches and parks for any public displays of affection with an extremely critical eye. In Chennai, the presence of an unmarried girl and unmarried boy within a distance of 10 metres from each other is considered to be a public display of affection.

Of course I am exaggerating a bit. Quite a bit actually. In reality, the place has changed quite a lot over the years. I mean, 15 years ago, if you had 2 X chromosomes, you wouldn't be allowed out of your house after 6 pm. Today, you probably will be.

The real irony is that the puritanical maamas and maamis of yore are slowly getting used to the fact that there exists this sane middle ground between the extremes of Satyabhama University boy-girl rules on the one hand and teenage pregnancies on the other. But with almost every engineering college doing practically everything short of neutering male students before admission, Chennai is entering this new weird era where young boys have no clue how to talk to a girl, let alone ask her out.

But if you are the rare breed that has gone beyond staring at your college girls' profile photos on Orkut (because any real world contact is punishable by medieval torture and slow painful death), and actually want to go out with a girl and not get into trouble with Chennai's Beeblebroxian-second-head, this guide is for you.

The Beaches
Where to go:
Central section of Marina Beach, opposite the Ice House. For some reason, this is the de-facto lovers zone, and you will find couples seated at strategically discreet distances from each other. The presence of several pairs generally discourages roving bands of shady guys.

The Northern side of Besant Nagar beach - closer to the Orur Alcott fisherman's village.

Where not to go:
Any other part of Marina Beach. Not a good idea.

The Southern side of Elliots beach - There is a police checkpost and the cops play cards and lay bets based on the number of couples they break up on a daily basis. I am serious, but kidding.

Any other beach, especially on East Coast Road: very dangerous. Quite a few kidnappings/molestations have happened there in the recent past.

What to do if caught by a cop:
1. Wear rings on the ring finger of the left hand before going to the beach. Claim to be recently married and act a little offended (just a little) at cop's invasion of privacy, but commiserate with his overall crusade/struggle against the heinous crime of sitting next to each other on sand without wearing rings/thalis/toerings etc.

2. Additionally create a contact on your mobile phone (preferably girl's) named "Appa" that actually connects to a close friend who can confirm your "married" status. Don't use this unless absolutely necessary. Sometimes, just acting as if one is dialing that number and handing the phone to the cop is enough to convince him that you are not the typical frowned upon lover case.

The Parks:
Ever since Chennai maamas and maamis have started wearing NRI-children-gifted New Balance sneakers and become health freaks, most parks have become way too crowded for couples.

But one safe haven remains - the Adyar Banyan Tree, in the Theosophical Society. That place has ridiculous timings - open only for about 2-3 hours a day, only in the afternoons, and is closed on Sunday. But the place is quiet, uncrowded, filled with tall, beautiful trees and offers any sensible couple an hour (at most) of solitude and togetherness. Advice to guys - go easy on the PDAs. The security guards there are mostly old, myopic men but don't push your luck.

Highly recommended comes the descriptively named UI Colony Anna Circular Walker's park near Liberty Theatre, where evenings are particularly free of disapproving maamas and other moral policemen.We must also add that the Guindy Snake park is a nice place to hang out, as long as it's not a school-picnic day when there is likely to be an army of kids enquiring "Akka akka,
loving-aa???".

The Discs:
Chennai discs are usually filled with large groups of single men who come to get drunk and look out for the occasional, rare (and bold) couple who happen to visit. As a guy, you might not notice anything, but your girl will feel extremely uncomfortable at all that open-mouthed attention. And one other thing - Chennai discs play only English dubchick and Hindi dance music. If you are the types that considers that to be "music", then I am sorry. No cure has been found yet.

The Restaurants:
Mocha, in Nungambakkam is one of the few coffee shops with reasonably dim lighting and secluded alcoves. I am not aware of any other non-5-star place with a similar ambience. The Shansi Kerala Tandoori Chinese Restaurant does have extremely dim lighting (to hide the unwashed and stained tablecloths) but is probably not a good place for couples because the waiters don't tolerate any hangy-pangy while serving gobi menjoorian.

Overall, Chennai is not an unmarried-couple-friendly place. But unlike some other cities in India, you are not likely to get killed. So be smart, and have fun.

Shit Happens ! With Everyone !!!

2007-12-02T05:03:00.002+05:30

lucky me !!! it's not with me this time. This is a true incident which took place around four years back. in those days, we were new to 2nd year, new to diamond hostel, new to freedom. Given everyone was a dumb junior till first year, we took this freedom very seriously (n gave up seriousness from everything else including GPA...) and started exploring all possible ways of having fun. One them was reaching any hillstation on weekends. only good thing about the location of NITT campus is it's very near to every possible hill station out there. Fridays were half-t for all the departments (if we dont have classes after lunch, we called that day a half-t and same way, if no classes at all, it's called full-t) and then following two weekends were quite tempting for outing. u dont need to plan anything if u want to visit any of the hill station. it's like two three ppl get together at gate after 9:20 class (and bunking the rest of them) for a fag n think of goin somewhere, the rumour spreads everywhere n whoever wants to join, will join. the crowd will reach the central bus stand n then will decide where to go !!! any hill station takes 9-10 hours from there. so ur weekend will be great in chilled woods n u will back by sunday evening. me n some of my friends thought of giving a try to a hill station called Munnar (the pics r here & here) and liked it a lot... i went there for around 4 times in those four years. anyway, so that day when we returned back to hostel, we heard another group of my friends also visited the same place n this time, they were the target of a concept called shit !!! it's here exactly how i heard it.

These friends of mine didnt take up a room in hotel. They thought of getting a cottage or something and finally ended up with taking a room next to the cable operator's control room. This room was also owned by the cable operator guy. he didnt give the room only, but gave access to the control room also (god knows why). Now, these ppl, who were roaming around till late in morning and came back to the room at around 5. One of them was having a hardcore pondy disc and was so despo to watch it. so were the others. all they needed is a VCD player and a tv. one nice social fellow gave and idea of using the tv and the VCD player available in the control room.

Now, let me tell u something. Munnar is a very small hill station. So this cable operator was kinda one and only cable operator on the hill. All his customers were either the Resorts/Hotels around or the local ppl. These ppl are very religious and everyone gets up by 6 for Pooja etc. Most of them turn on their TVs to listen/watch the devotional songs aired by the local cable operator.

now, back to the track. So this bunch of pondy-despo ppl entered the room and looked around for a VCD player. given that control room was too complex with lots of cables fixed here and there, they thought of watching it right there. Just not to disturb any set up, they straight away replaced the disc from one of the VCD player which was already turned on and already connected to the TV (and unfortunately to the main outgoing line of video broadcasting). The show was on, and everyone was so happy to see some action on screen !

on the other side, it was around 6 in morning and it was sunday too. Lot of ppl had got up by now, and as i said, they had turned their TVs on for some religious stuff to watch but, as these friends had set the VCD player on fire, the flames had reached to almost all the TVs in munnar...! we never collect those data that how many of munnar citizens really liked it and how many didnt coz one of the awakened and shocked citizen called the local police to lodge an complain against the cable operator for airing un-social, un-civilized and un-censored stuff on that sunday morning !!!

The cable operator also got a call from some other houses to stop that show as there were families and there were elders and there were kids watching them !!! the cable guy reached the control room to see what is happening and found these bunch of ppl enjoying the action totally unaware of the free service they provided right in the morning to a huge crowd !!!

rest is well understood that the cable guy kicked all of them out before the police was there. Just to take no more panga, this friends took the very first possible bus and reached back the hostel...

This reminded me one other incident i heard from seniors. A year before we joined the college, when my dada's batch was in 2nd year, they encountered similar kind of pondy-panga.

What happened was they planned to arrange a mass show of pondy movie in diamond TV room with 10000 KW speaker system which is quite capable setup to make even an ant's sneeze sound reach every corner of that 900 acres of campus. it was around 3 in the night, the show was goin on, and the tempting reflexes of that porn actress were reaching everywhere, including faculty residence area in that pin drop silence of mid-night. one pissed of professor whose dreams were disturbed by this hottest noise drove his car n came to diamond hostel. he straight away walked into the TV room and locked the door from inside. he was definitely not pleased by the stuff painted on the TV screen at that time. After noticing him in the TV room, first thing ppl did was turn off the TV n stop the VCD player. now, everyone was silent and surely, there was no explanation to give. everyone was in suspence what will be the action by this professor. will it be Rs 1000 fine from everyone? another suppli in his subject? two-three assignments in a single week?

one smart ass who was sitting near the switch board had an idea flashed in his grey cells. before the professor could start identifying the faces and collecting their ID cards, he just raised his hand and turned off every tube light in the room. now, it was complete dark in the room and none was visible, niether the professor, nor the students. next everyone heard was a sound of slap, another slap, another slap and then lots and lots of slaps... someone heard a sound of opening door... after a while, everyone was out of the room except one person that was the professor himself !!! he himself located the switchboard once again in that dark with just one hand coz another hand was too busy in rubbing his cheeks. he didnt find even a single student in the room, neither he found the VCD player and the CD...

He asked the warden to search everyone's room for the pondy CDs on very next day, but he couldnt find any. in upcoming days, he smashed a fine of Rs. 500 to evey inmate of diamond hostel after that and raided almost all the hostels multiple times for pondy but never got any. That duration of around 3 months is very famous in NITT campus as PONDY-CRISIS.

Laaga Chunari Mein Daag

2007-10-24T05:42:00.001+05:30

Just another movie on how-pathetic-life-indian-woman-has !!! Godaammit !!! stinky crap ! (sorry for this lingo, it's the South Park effect !!!) when will ppl stop making movies on same ghisa peeta topic ! since years n years, bollywood has been trying to prove that indian woman has always been molested by male dominated society. she needed money n she became an escort. big deal !!! it's a pretty simple fact. why it has to be projected as society forced her to do so...! i mean, watever the capability and availabilities she had, she did the best she could. her character was of a totally unsecured, immature and passionate. putting all three together, she didnt care to take a second opinion and did watever was told as the first advice. that was a very foolish start of the story. but, if we observe from a broader perpective, she did a compromise for a basic resource to push her life. who doesnt...??? at one or another point of life, we all do it. right starting from kids to oldies, students to employees, fathers to mothers... every damn single person on the earth does something that he doesnt like to do. it doesnt mean that we all r sluts !!!

anyway, coming back to movie. Here goes the review.

(1) The direction of the movie is fantastic. Cast, Crew everything is awesome.

(2) Just to avoid this boring and chewed topic, producer has tried to fit in everything in bits n pieces here n there. And i guess, he's been quite successful in that.

(3) Abhishek Bachchan needs to change his looks. It's hard to guess from which movie the poster is.

(4) Again Abhishek is an irritating character in the movie. His dialogs, acting is quite predictable.

(5) Konkana Sen saves the soul of the movie. Her character is so live, realistic n close to an average human.

(6) Jaya Bachchan and Anupam Kher, it's hard to decide the sequence they r playing is humourous or the serious one.

(7) Sushant Singh is a talent actor n his talent was wasted in the movie. he could have played Abhishek's character in much better way.

(8) Kunal Kapoor rocks !!! infact, he's the only person who saves the movie in 2nd half.

(9) Overall, movie has added essence of glamour, which gives pleasure to eyes :)

(10) Why do they have to project Bombay as the worst city for females !!! Bombay life rocks n ppl in Bombay are most co-operative ppl than any other part of india.

(11) Transition between two different personalities of Rani Mukherji is pathetic. she keeps bouncing between her escort role and banarasi-girl role too frequently and that is like, it itches in eyes and mind and it's hard to digest. Moreover, Raani's figure is distorted by now. as i said in one of my earlier post, she looks too fatty like the animated girl who comes on Amul Butter pack. she needs to workout :)

(12) The sets of banaras is really well created. it brings back the scenes from a movie - Dharm.

(13) The song featuring Raani's escort personality is pathetic. I mean, the picturization sucks, not the audio.

Now, about the music. Songs are typical glamourous movie music. quite enjoyable n shaadi types. The song featuring Kunal Kapoor and Konkana Sen is one of the most romantic songs ever. But one song i loved is the sound track of the movie. The fusion version of Anoop Jalota's bhajan - Laaga Chunari Mein Daag. This song has got really heart touching beats and soul buzzing lyrics. The most sensible lines in the whole movie are -

Chunar hun mein
Laaj bhi mein
Chunar main daag bhi mein

At the end of the movie, it's typical bollywood types ending. Everyone lives happily ever after. more sensible and practical ending could have been something like both the siters going the same way. but it's bollywood. it has to make everyone happy after three hours so let's forgive them.

anyway, if u dont mind the same chaat topic, the movie is quite enjoyable, say three out of five.

Ride the smoke horse

2007-10-17T22:38:00.002+05:30

Betraying night, a blind morning
suck in the dead air
what's health, what's wealth,
u're bothered by your hair

Brush the dreams, clean the ash
retrieve what's where
one more time, riding the smoke horse
count what's out there

spit the desires swallow the facts
more u ignore more it acts
shoot'em down, they're not enemies
weird are all these percepts

disgusting sunlight brightening the way
obstacles crushed throwing u away
aiming the moon on stairway of clouds
reach back the dark just like yesterday

Ahmed Pathaan Mar Gaya !!!

2007-09-06T23:04:00.001+05:30

Today, while going to office, i came across a whacky but tragic accident. i mean, Directly\Indirectly, i was not at all involved in that. Wat happened was one stud looking crow was flying at dangerously low level and i guess, was searching for something on the earth in a detective style flip flopping it's beak 30^o 30^o left n right. in a flash, there dropped in one kid riding a bicycle and kamikaze crow bumped into the front wheel which eventually crushed him into the earth !!! sad, that detective gave up right there. thru the day, i named that crow "Ahmed Pathaan" and kept informing ppl about this news as - "Ahmed Pathaan mar gaya" and seeing their response. then, i thought wat i would have responded to such a random news.

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 1 - shit !!!

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 2 - u r late man, it's on AAJ TAK !

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 3 - i don't care... huh.

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 4 - Aaj soja, kal dekh lenge.

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 5 - Lo !!! ise bhi abhi hi marna tha !!!

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 6 - But i heard it was Balbeer Singh ???

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 7 - kahaan gaya???

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 8 - ye kya tha ???

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 9 - Why was he alive ???

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 10 - can you prove it !!!???

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 11 - wat was his date of birth?

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 12 - arey yaar !!! he was going onsite tomorrow !!!

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 13 - Biwi thi kya uski???

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 14 - ya, i heard about plane crash in pakistan.

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 15 - Dukh hua.

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 16 - Don't cry man !

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 17 - suicide???

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 18 - Ahmed and Pathaan both???

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 19 - National Holiday !!!

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 20 - Kasam peda karne waale ki !!! main uske khooni ko zinda nahi chhodunga...!!!

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 21 - Maine samjhaaya tha usko !!!

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 22 - wat about his property?

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 23 - god damn !!!

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 24 - jhhhhesus christ !!! now they'll burn Hindus for that !!!

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 25 - nahiiiiiiiii, keh do ke yeh jhooth hai !

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 26 - Everything that has a beginning; has an end.

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 27 - May his soul rest in peace.

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 28 - It's something unpredictable; but in the end it's right.

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 29 - Usko marne se pehle paani naseeb hua tha?

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 30 - okay !

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 31 - Did you inform police?

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 32 - (in gabbar style) kitne Ahmed the ?

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 33 - woof woof woof !

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 34 - Ahmed tera kya lagta tha???

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 35 - Kahi bhi jaa raha ho bhai, bataake toh jaana chahiye na.

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 36 - he was an a$$hole ! he deserved this !

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 37 - shaant gadadhaari bheem shaant !

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 38 - these IT jobs !!!

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 39 - he was just a kid man !!!

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 40 - Bechaara. he was good guy.

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 41 - Dont worry yaar. main hu na.

friend - Ahmed pathaan mar gaya.
me 42 - Haaye allaah !!! main bewa ho gayi !!!

i guess, that's enough for now. if i'll get some more, will update the post. ciya

That was me in school

2007-09-06T02:21:00.002+05:30

so folks, it's teacher's day !!! chalo bachcho, tell me why we celebrate Teacher's day??? very good... he is Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan.

that is how teachers teach the kids. anyway, ppl would have written enough about teacher's day by now. at least, one has done. so all i am going to do is, travel back in the past n remember one day at Utkarsh School.

I was in class 11 at that time, and there was my chemistry teacher standing in front. The bold and beautiful Alka Sharma. That day, we all were supposed to submit our articles on our favourite topic of chemistry. Everyone was submitting their articles one by one and she was doing a quick review n letting the class know about something good in those ones. now it was my turn.

she - "good to see you in class. gimme that article. let me see. are you planning to join classes for JEE? btw, congratulations for getting the first prize at the Seminar. We have decided to put your Fibar Optic based Railway model in the exhibition gallery. How much was the prize money?"

me - "Thanks mam. Total prize money is coming around 25K, that we four guys will be sharing it. Here is my article."

i took my 20 pages article and handed over to her. She started reading the sober and neat white cover page with brown text explaining my name, class and the subject of that article. i looked at her boldly wrapped saari and sparrow shapped design on it.

"RDX !!!???" - she blasted like a real RDX package !!!

me - "Yes mam, i liked that topic very much and i had good material to gather information. The article is based on physical chemistry actually."

she - "but RDX!?!!? there are so many other topics to write about. why you chose RDX?"

she reacted like she just had swallowed at least ten drops of sulphuric acid !!!

me - "some days back, i came across a book explaining the chemical reaction which takes place when RDX is kept under a temperature of 170^o C. i found it really interesting and thought of choosing RDX as my topic for chemistry article."

i tried to normalise her checmical reaction.

she released all available carbon dioxide in a long timespan of more than 5 seconds. and stuffed enough oxygen back in lungs n started browsing thru my article. She paused for a while on 4th page, where i had described how to produce RDX in laboratory.

she - "okay..... so...... mmmmmmmmmmm..... (CH₂)₆N₄ + 4HNO₃........ heat it at at least 200^o C till it starts releasing light grey smoke....and you get.......three molecules of 3HCHO, one positive ion of NH₄, one negative ion of NO₃, and one molecule of (CH₂-N-NO₂)₃ that is Researched & Developed Explosive - aaaaaaaarrrrr dddddeeeee eeeeekkkkksssss. hmmm. ok tell me what are your topics for Physics n Bio?"

She made a face like i had suggested two t-spoons of potassium chloride in recipe of Kashmiri Biriyaani...!!! anyway, i had to answer.

me - "for physics, i have written about Dark Matter and in Bio, i have taken the topic as Survival of the fittest.

she - "hmmm, that sounds like good intelligent topics. ok, so here is the implementation of RDX in weapons. You combine purified RDX with plastic at 5/95 ratio and mold it in required shape for domestic usage... domestic usage???!?!??!?....... okaaaay.... it requires ASA compound Detonator which can bring the temperature of RDX upto at least 270^o.....mmmmmmm....nice diagrams, quite informative and neat....hhhhhmmmmmm...and 1 gm of Composition-C RDX is enough to create an air pressure which can accelerate an average elephant till at least 10 meters against gravity !!!"

finally, she gave up tasting the new recipe deviced by me. and that elephant fantasy of mine, boiled her blood in no time !!!

she - "okay, so you think this is funny. wat do you think of youself? if you win a prize in a state level science fair; it doesnt mean that you become the hero. i cant accept this article. it's looks like a handbook of a terrorist."

me - "But mam, i have done enough study on that. there are no jokes in the article !!! all the data available in the article are from books which i gathered from the library. and i accept that there are more physics related details, but that's the only part of chemistry i like. i am not at all interested in core organic chemistry where you smell chemicals in lab and try to figure out wat is wat."

n that answer of mine, i guess she felt like too personal given she spent half of her day in chemistry lab sucking those yuuuuuuk chemicals thru her cute nose !!! :D somehow, she controlled all the chemical reactions happening in her hot blood n responded like a coolant.

she - "listen, can u remember wat i had told about the topics? they have to be from our syllabus. DO you have RDX in your chemistry syllabus????"

me - "But mam, even my physics and bio topics are quite general ones. and Aparna mam and Ashok sir, both liked my articles soooooo much that they asked me to give them a xerox copies."

now, that line of mine was efficient catalyst to trigger another fusion of hydrogen atoms in her blood n smash kilo-watts of atomic enery !!!

she - "I dont know about that. but in my subject, you have to do as i say. If you want marks for your article, take up any topic from syllabus and submit it. i cant tolerate this !!!"

she delivered that last line at a very high pitch volume and slammed my 20 pages towards the dustbin. i turned back n looked at my next-bench-neighbour busy enjoying the very first insult of a pseudo talent. so the class was. damn !!! i reached the dustbin and took last six pages which had managed to survive and from the dustbin; with a diagram; they were explaining how to incorporate diazo dinitro phenol in bridgewire detonator with safety fuse in hand-made RDX bomb.

Shit Happens, Everytime !!!

2007-09-05T01:24:00.002+05:30

Before i start, i'll have to give a little background here and before i do that, plz make a note that me and Richin are not gay !!! we have been a popular combo in our campus since very first day. we were hostelmates in first year, room mates in second year and soulmates in next two years. In spite of being so different; far far away from each other by nature; we had set a definition of friendship. i mean, when he was hyperactive; i was lazy like a sloth!!! he was an eight pointer, i was bloody a five pointer !!! he was so friendly, n i was so dry and sarcastic !!! our lives in that campus are impossible to imagine without each other. even on last day, we had nothing to write in our rem books. i mean, wat to write?!?!?? how can someone write his four years life in a single page !!!

so here i start to describe one incident when we both were in a deep shit !!! the time was around 2 o'clock of night and as usual, we were heading towards the Pepsi Booth behind Topaz hostel. We had one Pepsi booth behind each hostels where one can get everything other than pepsi !!! i mean, pepsi was available till we screwed the drink maker machine. now, there was just a coffee machine sponsored by Sunrise. so, it was a nice hangout for all insomniacs around to enjoy tea, coffee, pastries etc etc etc. we reached the place, took one one paper cup in hands full of hot coffee and moved away in the ground to avoid the shouts of coffee hungry crowd. n as usual, we were going with a pretty normal conversation, accidently, some key combination got pressed in his mobile and a call went to his home landline. someone there picked the call and started listening to conversation between two guys totally unaware about this call !!! so wat his dad heard on phone, went something like this:

Richin: saali kab se dekh rahi hai.

Me: haan, bechaari 10 baje se wait kar rahi hai hamaara.

Richin: Jaldi khatam kar coffee aur jaake de usko, tadap rahi hai bechaari.

Me: itni hi padi hai uski toh tu de na pehle.

Richin: chal aaj ek kaam karte hai. teri waali main deta hu, meri waali ko tu de.

Me: haan, ye sahi hai. woh bhi bore ho gayi hogi bechaari.

Richin (not to me !!!): ye le !!!!

After sometime

Me: kya matlab hai yaar...!!! meri waali toh tere se khush ho gayi, lekin ye teri waali ke nakhre kuchh jyaada hi hai !!! faaltu ke naatak... sidha aake chipak gayi !!!

Richin: fir se try kar na.

Me: chhod yaar... chal, ek ek aur pite hai. aaja...

Richin: abey yaar paise nahi hai. khatam ho gaye. lagta hai ab kuchh aur dhandha karna padega. aaj kal paise kam pad rahe hai.

Me: haan, bhai saahab ke shauk ek do thodi hai !!! chal chal, katate hai yahaan se. teri waali ko kya ho gaya meri taraf bhaag bhaag ke aa rahi hai !!!

(while moving from there, i literally pinched his ass !!! just like that !!! :D)

Richin: Chutye kya kar raha hai Bh@$#^! !!! tere baap ki G@&d hai kya !!!

Me: mere nahi lekin tere baap ki toh hai !!! ek hi baat hai !!!

Richin: ghanta saale. itna hi kida hai toh abhi bhi khadi hai woh !!! jaa uske paas !!!

suddenly he slammed his fingers on his keypad of mobile

Richin: Fuck !!! ghar pe call lag gaya !!!! shit shit shit !!!

n when we thought of consequences, i missed four-five heart beats !!! we rewound watever we spoke, and tried to analyse wat his dad would have understood by that. wat is the probability that he could here all words??? wat is the range of microphone of that mobile??? bla bla bla... n finally, we came to a conclusion that we are fucked !!! it was like being Nathuram Godse and explaining the reason of killing Gandhiji to Kasturba !!! n suddenly his mobile started ringing. it was a call from home. he picked the call. At the other end of the line it was like an inquiry commission.

Richin's dad: beta, kahaan ho? kar kya rahe ho tum log???

and then, we had to explain that we're nowhere but at the coffee joint behind our hostel and all we were talking bout is feeding the paper cup to the cows standing there !!! there were two cows whom we fed everyday. One cow was favourite of mine whom i had nammed Tere Naam Gaay coz she had horns exactly like hair style of Salmaan Khaan in Tere Naam movie, and other one was Funky Gaay who looked like and used to walk like a hip hop singer !!! no need to say, they never understood this explanation which was hundred percent true fact !!! and after this incident, my reputation in his home was totally spoiled, screwed, fucked n wat not !!! god knows wat they thought about me but i am sure, they would have adviced richin to stay away from me !!!

so, this incident worked really well to rape my cultured, well mannered and sincere image on his parents. Now, it was only his IITian brother who had some good beliefs about me. One day, i was sitting in Octa and i got a call on my mobile. now, that day, some idiot was trying to reach some Prakash Jadav and by mistake, everytime he was dialing my number. since morning he had bugged me for more than 20 times. i was just too pissed with this guy. Even before i entered inside Octa, he had called n that converstaion went something like this:

he - Prakash Jadav hai kya?

(i tried to ditch him right there !!!)

me - Ji unko toh aaj shaam ko hi le gaye Apollo hospital. Kuchh Kaam tha kya???

he - Ji kya bol rahe hai aap?

me - haan, aaj shaam ko kuchh chaar paanch attack aa gaye unko. Aap jaldi se pahunch jaao room number 48, shaayad aap ki baat ho jaaye !!!!

then he cut the call. i thought he'll never ever call me back... n with that pissed mood, i entered inside n logged in one of the comp. i was so busy in checking my emails n suddenly the phone rang back... without seeing the dialer's name or number, i straight away took the call n abused the caller with all possible slangs available in gujarati, hindi, english, punjabi, bengoli, maraathi, tamil etc etc etc !!! (that's one unique quality of an NITian, he knows slangs of all indian languages !!!) when i finished, i felt like i am out of slangs n passed the mobile to my friend who was sitting next to me and asked him to abuse the caller as much as possible. that was a good turn on for him and he did the same with some added spanish slangs !!! like this, we circulated my phone among three-four friends n finally it came back to me. i didnt say anything n tried to listen to the Prakash-Jadav-despo caller (well, that is wat i assumed.) n all i got to hear is - "This is Richin's brother, can i speak to him. his mobile is not reachable, so i called on ur number."

and i was like, totally frozen and thinking now wat to explain !!! Well, actually it didnt took much effort to make him understand wat was going on. he himself was an IITian and he knew wat a rubbish culture NITs, have !!!

But, convincing his brother was not enough. after some days, we got to tackle a really serious situation. it was around 3 of night, we were sitting at SamFox. There were a few other night creatures too who were despo to eat something. It was a fantastic rainy and misty climate and nobody can even think of getting in trouble while sitting in such a chilled air alongside national highway number 67.

We were sitting on that table waiting for maggi. for some unknown reasons, my kameena instinct made me take his mobile in hand and type a message "I want to have sex with you, right now". i didnt stop there. i browsed thru the address book and selected a girl's number who was just a hi-hello types of friend of mine, but a very very close friend of richin. now, all was left to do is i had to press Send and that's it. that would have been enough to screw the childhood of his new born love relationship. though, i didnt do that. i m not that bad. i just made him tensed about wat i was goin to do and put the mobile back on the table, without cancelling the message (read it again, with bold italic n underline: without cancelling the message!!!). the flash light on the screen had turned off n that mobile looked like it's there since a long time n keypad is also locked. that akka popped with maggi in hands and we hungry souls started stuffing in at maximum speed. now, richin felt like taking a revenge. he took my mobile, typed "I have started driking and smoking and i am sorry to say that i will never stop", selected my dad's number and showed me the flashing screen. i shouted - "Chutya ho gaya hai kya?!?!?! rakh usko side main. kyo meri marvaane pe tula hua hai !!!" n he also, placed it back as it is in the place (again, without cancelling the message), the screen light turned off.

now, the maggi was over. we paid the money and took our mobiles back from the table and just like any other normal mobile user; to check if there's any new message; tried to unlock the key pad. As we both had left the mobiles in composed-message-selected-number state; and bloody Nokia 3310/3315 has a single central key for every function like Unlock/Send/Open; thinking that we are unlocking the keypad, we clicked the central button, and fuck !!! It was displaying Send above that button at that time !!! i accidentally confessed something which i had never done and he accidentally demanded something which he never wanted to !!! at least not in this way !!!

But before we realised that, our mobile screens were flashing an alert - "Message Sent...!"

We looked at each other, thought of the ugliest possible slang n shouted to each other. Almost half of the next day was spent in rectifying the things.

Moral of the story: Shit happens, everytime !!!

Cash

2007-08-08T19:41:00.001+05:30

i wached CASH yesterday, and it is worse than Dhoom !

Yeh haath mujhe de de Thaakur !

2007-08-04T02:57:00.001+05:30

Thaakur !!! a poor character from the bollywood block-buster Sholey. today, i feel myself put up in the same line. well, not exactly. he lost his hands, i've lost my palms !!! why all unique troubles are dedicated to my destiny?!??! my fingers are working fine, my hands are working fine. just wat is not fine are the palms. means, i can type, i can cook maggi, i can play guitar (btw, i m worse than Phoebe) and wat i cant do is drive !!! (i know i know, there r lot other things which are not possible without palms, n one of them is very important, but i can control my feelings :D) driving is the most enjoyable stuff i do everyday !!! and now i'll have to go to office by bus at least for a week :(

and it's all coz of one phone call !!! i got up very late today and was already late for office. i should have come back to home at the very moment when one craw dumped on my helmet. that was the first time i realised the importance of helmet !!! nice invention someone has thought of !!! so, i ignored that apshagun and headed to office at fullspeed to suffer a punishment for writting a really depressing poem yesterday. at the very next signal, someone called on my phone and it started tickling like hell !!! i clumsily tried to figure out red button to stop that shock !!! my left hand was already engaged in that hunt-for-red-button-on-keypad and i didnt notice that one auto had came in the middle of the road from left. now, i dont exactly remember wat happened first. either the phone stopped ringing or i heard a smashing sound effect, but all of a sudden, i felt like everything is dark around. i opened my eyes and i found myself straight, stretched and forming 20^o with the horizontal road and my palms were the touch point. and it just flashed in mind that very last moment, i had bumped into the auto !!! i saw my bike lying next to me, but a little behind and still the engine was on. thru the helmet glass, i spoted my palms stuck to the road and got up. first thing i made sure is my mobile was safe. by the time, some good ppl had parked my bike next to road. (damn, dont they know whom to help first, bike or the rider !!!?!??!?) anyway, the next feeling i got is something had happened to my palms. i turned my hands to check them out and damn !!! they were like i had scrubed the entire road with them !!! i was like asking myself is this real ?!?!?!? yep, that was real. i searched for any other damage on body (mine, as well as of the bike). but only the palms were chosen ones. i locked the bike and headed to the nearby hospital.

the nurse at the hospital was so happy to see the day's first customer !!! she took me in, totally red handed. just to start off with the dressing stuff, she applied tincture and iodine and i tell u, that was more painful than ever !!! she cleaned my hand in a way worse than the way i clean the pan after cooking maggi !!! somehow, she added two white bandages in my beauty. by the prescription, i bought one injection from outside and again came back to her. i moved my sleeve a little to take that needle into my shoulder. "not there" - she replied and rest i guess, u can very well understand where that needle went finally :( and it was even more painful than tincture and iodine.

anyway, so with that, a pseudo rockstar with bandages on each palm, came out of the hospital and again headed to the office to finish the delivery of some important scripts. i had already bunked four days since last week. i already had a huge list of pending stuff and wanted to save my leaves. and this was really good chance actually. go to office, and dont work coz u've a nice excuse not to work !!! anyway, half of my day went into explaining the story to each and everyone; right from the receptionist to the lunch-counter-akka (well, lot of ppl know me actually).

so, i still have this white packing around my palms which screwed my weekend plan of pondicherry-on-bike. even if i light something, it feels like this cotton will catch fire and it'll rape my hands badly !!! i cant even hold a bottle :( i miss those days (lolz :D) when i used to go for jogging on bike !!! anyway, all of a sudden, i've got some feelings for that poor guy; Thaakur; and just to understand him a little more, i m gonna watch Sholey. btw, i've never watched Sholey before, so this screwed palms are nice excuse to add another movie in the list.

Saagar Kinaare

2007-08-03T00:35:00.001+05:30

Vishaal jal raashi
Akramak veg
Niraasha ka haath thaame
Saagar ke kinaare fir khada koi ek

Vastavikata main uljha
baar baar soch raha
Mrityu se koi aapatti nahi hai
Jeevan hai mere paas bas ek

Svyam ki praapti ke moh main
Svyam ko kiya kisi ke hawaale
Doshi ko nirdosh maankar
Satya pe boon diye swapano ke jaale

Jal ki is bheed main
Fir gira hai aansu ek
Fir se ek aasha tooti hai
Saagar ke kinaare fir se khada hai koi ek

Pune Collage

2007-07-31T13:52:00.001+05:30

finally my plan to Pune worked out. thanks to GoAir, who're ready to sell the tickets at cheapest prices even on last date. before this trip, i never realised travelling has become another hobby of mine. but still, i hate travelling on the same route by the same means. ya, one apparent meaning of that is i hate going to hometown so frequently. and as a solution to that problem, once i had a thought that i'll take a boat from Chennai, will sail all the way parallel to india coast and will reach Surat. from there, it hardly takes two hours to Baroda. and dont laugh, i m pretty serious bout this plan.

anyway, come back to Pune trip. i landed in Mumbai at 10 and made my way to pune thru india's most hot & happening city. Mumbai looks great from sky. i reached Santa Cruz at 11 in morning and took a volvo from Dadar which took me straight to Pune thru sexiest national express way ever - a part of Golden Quadrilateral. before this, i have travelled only thru Ahmedabad-Baroda express way, which is India's First National Express Way. so it was pretty exciting at that time and my dad maintained 110 km/hr till the end. but this Mumbai-Pune National Express Way was totally different. it looked like some elephants walked thru the mountains and left a trail behind !!! it was all greenery around, it was all wet coz of lovely rain, it was all mist and god knows how that driver was able to figure out turns in tunnels (ya, there were dark tunnels too, total six and at it took minimum 10 mins in all the tunnels!!!). everything was just like a hill station. till we passed by Khandala-Lonawala, the bus couldnt reach much speed coz of hilly roads, deadly turns and risky up-downs at flyovers & bridges. btw, one thing i didnt like was they screened Ta Ra Rum Pum which is one the movies i hate to watch !!! but that was the only thing i could do in that ultra-romantic journey !!!

somehow, i suffered that movie and reached SP's apartment. i met him after like 14 months !!! he took me in and there was another friend, Meenal, who was waiting since like half an hour. going by the NITT way, we started with any topic other than hi-hows-life... and i handed over the gift to SP, which was i guess, the chaatest practical joke Meenal had ever witnessed !!! btw, i found his apartment so girly types !!! (sorry dear friends who're behind it :P) i mean, it was good and very nice, but it was different than mine... from the very first look of my room, u can figure out that one laziest ass sleeps here !!! anyway, there started indian idol after that. and what else u need to have a laughter exercise !!!

that crapping around went on till late and it was dinner time by now. i had a meal with SP for the first time after 23rd May 2006. though, nothing felt like so senti n all. u feel senti bout someone only when he/she is not around, not reachable. so, we finished the dinner and headed to the 'High' way. and i had a serious most conversation (which is never going to be a part of this blog) on howz-life and wats-happening topics till 5 in the morning.

we got up at around 12 and went to a place called Camp. it was full of hangouts and malls n stuff. there, another frn Shashvat joined us. we roamed around a lot at all possible places and wasted a lot of money. and while that funniest ever shopping, my credit card almost reached the credit limit. while a lot of bird watching, we tried to aim as many birds as possible, but u all know our aim is not that good :D after these all roam around, all i could find is, Pune has a very very dust free, healty, romantic and sexy climate. It's like, somebody lifted bangalore and put it on a high hill !!! unlike Chennai or Mumbai, i never saw indecency in public. ppl actually use dustbins. i liked the city a lot coz of less crowd, less traffic, less pollution, the chilled rainy climate and the ups-downs in the roads !!! pune is nowhere flat ! whole city is like they digged all the hills wherever they needed to build something ! though, one thing i didnt like is u dont get public transport after 10/11. not even for Mumbai.

mmmmmmmmmmmmm, then then. ya, for dinner we went to a place suggested by SP's friend Swati. Though, there was nothing special bout the food. (Sorry mam if u r reading this, but that's a fact !!! :P) anyway, food was not that important. we came back to the apartment and again headed the 'High' Way and watched Mira Nair's Kamasutra and had a nice leg pulling session. and ya, we watched a lot other chaat videos and made fun of every possible face we saw on screen.

again, we got up at around 12 and went to a near by hill. it was great to see some areas of Pune from there and see cloud raining on some distant places. even we got wet after some time and we came down at around 5. there again, had a serious kinda of talk (which can be a part of this blog, but anyway, i m too lazy to type that long conversation !!!) which was really useful. ppl visit hill stations to have fun, but i've exactly opposite use of them. hill stations are great place to keep talking talking and talking. just suck in fresh oxygen and puke out ur thoughts.

after that, i handed over myself to another group of friends. there again, i had NITT types bakar and after dinner & 'high' dessert, they got me a volvo at around 11. again i headed to Mumbai. they started Bhaagam Bhaag movie which i had already seen a long back. the only interesting thing; other than wet, sexy, hilly & chilled midnight view of highway; i found is the girl sitting next to me who had made it clear in the first place itself that we wont exchange phone numbers or email IDs. we reached Mumbai at 2 and took a taxi to Santa Cruse from Borivalli. As she was also working at airport and her duty was starting at 6 in morning, we kept talking till i checked in for flight at 5. and funny is, we didnt ask even names... that was the most random talk i ever had !!!

once i reached my seat in the plane, i straight away fell asleep and got up at 10 when that sexy flying bitch woke me up. over all, the trip was a great fun, a nice change from bored daily life, quite eventful, a great reunion with friends and an efficient moral fuel. with that, i added another city in my list of favourite cities of india and ended the trip.

Awarapan

2007-07-23T23:17:00.001+05:30

ha ha... how come i watched this movie !!! well, heard a lot bout it. damn this rediff n glamsham...! though, was an ok sort of movie and a copy of A BITTERSWEET LIFE - A Korean movie, not so good, not so bad. so here goes my review comments.

1) Imran Hashmi has never acted this well before. though, his character is quite same like his earlier movies. a pissed off, lonely, sad, harsh person.

2) songs r really good n touching. though, not one - Mahiya. original Mahiya song by pakistani singer Annie is far far better and more melodious than this. and ya, this pakistani singer dances far better than the girl in movie !!! if u r interested, watch live performance of Annie.

3) there's no smooch !!!

4) Ashutosh Rana is really a good performer, but he should take up unusual and serious role. not this typical bollywood types bad guy.

5) bollywood has got a new talent, Shreya Saran.

6) all pakistani singers are just too awesome in this movie.

7) dialogues by Ashutosh Rana are quite enjoyable.

8) There's no song by Himesh Reshamiya !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9) There's no scene like Ekta Kapoor crap.

10) over all, movie is a bit violent and brings back the memories of movie gangster.

11) There's nothing special bout pakistani background of the movie. i mean, Anwar was far better in that case. that movie was based in lucknow, and had quite an islamic shadow.

12) over all, the movie, the print (???) and the sequences are dark.

13) same like other movies of Imran Hashmi, here also he's got a past which he is not able to forget.

14) i laughed when the girl asked him - "tum itne akele kyo ho?!!?!??"

15) over all, it's a well directed movie. doesnt become boring anywhere.

16) though, first two songs were useless, including one Mahiya.

17) bad guys really need to act well.

18) i am stopping on 18th comment coz Annie's age was 18 when she performed Mahiya for the first time !!! didnt get it???? ok, i m just chaating !!!!

so, basically, it's a nice watchable movie. given u r not my types of viewer, or else, u'll also start chaating like me !!!

Kal, Aaj aur Kal

2007-07-22T04:14:00.002+05:30

whoa... i m about to complete one year in here. still everything feels like the same. I landed in here on 5th august last year. First thing I did was reached at my friends' home and I was so happy to see them after three months. Wow, so finally, these two folks will be with me. I mean, after leaving the college, it was a big suspense for all of us that who will be with whom !!! after our joinings, we kept calling each other for like three four months. Who's where, with whom, howz company etc etc etc. everyone was going thru the same experience. New ppl, new enviroment, new life, new schedule. But one or the other way, we all were still same !!! u call anybody, after ten mins, all will come to the same point. Life is chaat !!! we are missing that life. Watever watever watever.

Though, life is chaat, I m sure everyone is enjoying it a lot. I mean, now it's the time when we don't need to ask anybody for money. And this is wat we all want. If u have money, u can have everything. I mean, at least that many things which can make u ignore u r not in topaz hostel among those friends. Anyway, screw it. The topic here is me on 5th august 2006 and me on 22nd july 2007.

So here I start. The day I landed here, I knew four ppl. Three guys from my college with whom, I was goin to spend my 24 hours. With one in office and with two in home. It's the same even now. The fourth one left this place the day I reached here !!! and we couldn't even meet, though for me; my joining was less important reason than that meeting to come down here. So, basically my start over here was a big kela. Fine, I m used to it. I got a huge bunch of ppl to deal with in office with only one consolation prize, a friend of mine in the same office who had been my friend in college too.

Since that first day in office till now, I got different friends from different categories. The favorite category is friends from other NITs. It was a bit easy for me to survive in this new world coz of these ppl. Whenever u need to crap around in ur own way, these ppl r always there. Another category is some friends from managers level, who always keep passing the official secrets !!! then one more category is there. I am not able to decide whether they r friends or competitors !!! I've taken a lot of panga with this kind of ppl. a general category is there, those good morning, hi there kinda friends; usual word for it is colleagues.

Anyway, these all r professional friends. It's too difficult to make personal friends at job, though I nearly got one. i still dont understand how & why i got this friend. may be, that place was empty in my life, or may be, i really deserve this friend. And ya, after getting out of college, I realized ppl have two kinds of life; personal and professional. In college, everything was same. Of course, the reason was kind of friends and kind of friendship we had. But sure, it's too hard to make those kind of relations once u r out in the open world. Mainly, the reason is, for that kind of friendship, u need to build a trust. But at this age, everybody looks for benefit, so it's just not possible. And of course, we don't have time to listen to someone who's opened up his history in front of u.

Coming to technical front, I've learnt a lot. for me, it was a bit easy to get along with this software life coz had a similar kind of work environment in college too. Thanks to octagon@NITT !!! I've tried every possible thing at least one time and today I can say, I can work on any domain u want. Though, after starting this software job, my urge to get into media and organization business is empowered even more. Still, three four more years to go. My plan starts after that.

Mmmmmmmm, then then then. Ya, I hated reading in college. I hate it even now. But one major difference I see is, I've started writing. May be, in those days, having fun and enjoying college life with friends was more important and interesting. Or may be, I had never tried this before, but I'm really enjoying this.

Ya I remember. I hated this place and the culture over here in the beginning. I mean, south Indian culture is too different from western, northern or eastern india. I went to an STD booth and was paying money with my left hand and that guy shouted back he wont accept money given by left hand. I mean, wat's his fucking problem !!! I am a born left handed and that's not my fault !!! neither value of rupee is gonna fall down if it is paid by left hand !!! ppl hate it when u seat next to an unknown girl in bus !!! lot of ppl here try their best to cheat u once they know u r a hindi speaking person !!! FYI, I m not a born hindi speaking person. My mother tongue is gujarati and that was my primary language till 12th. i watch gujarati movies, i listen to gujarati songs, i was gujarati plays !!! i completed my school life in gujarati medium and never even thought of hating hindi !!! everybody speaks hindi doesnt matter their mother tongue is punjabi, sindhi, urdu, kashmiri, khasi, kannad, bengoli, marathi, udiya, konkani, asaami, gadhwali, telugu, marwadi or watever !!! I never realized I know hindi. I mean, it just came automatically, just like my mother tongue. I never expected that ppl from india's fourth largest metro city really hate their national language !!! but slowly I realized anyway how it is going to effect me. Even if they speak hindi, I not kinda of guy who's interested in talking to them. If I get some friends of my type, I don't need anybody else. If I was able to survive in a jungle for four years, what's the big deal in living here !!! after all, not all r like that. At least, not ppl in the area I m in right now. So fine, today, no problems with this place also.

Mmmmmmmm then, ok coming to me me and me. I get pissed off very easily now. I mean, when I was in college, I was famous among my circle for not getting angry in any situation. And now, I m getting famous for ever pissed nature. God knows why. May be, coz of monotonous life. Watever. But I feel, much more matured now. In both, professional and personal fronts. Now, I don't take much time to analysis whether I should go ahead with this relationship or not, be it's personal or professional. and anyway, there's nothing much interesting in both the lives. proffesional, everyone knows. personal, just crapping around with friends, watching movies, writing blogs, chatting, playing games...

One other thing has changed is my mobile bill !!! I wasted nearly five thousand in calling friends here n there in first two months after joining. Now, I know bout everyone, so no more mobile expenses !!!

But one thing, which has never changed and I guess, it's never gonna be changed. That is, the memories of those four years. It's still the same. The feelings I had on my last day in campus, I can still feel them. Though, lot of ups and downs I faced in last one year from personal front, it never affected my sentiments for the friends I had. And I guess, I m never gonna get companions like those.

so, here i stand. setting a milestone on this lifeline. was blank one year back, and i m blank today too. i had no plans for future that day also, i've no plans for future even today. just take the life as it comes, that's my way of living. and trust me, it rocks !!! it gives u one motive, one goal to live everyday. i am kind of guy who loves adventures. and fun of adventure is always spoiled coz of planning. so, have a suspense in ur life. that makes life a bit interesting.

anyway, enough... i cant figure out more differences. if u knew me on 5th august 2006 and if u know me even now, do let me know. ur comments are always welcome !!!

White Noise

2007-07-21T17:20:00.001+05:30

i had a huge collection to watch on this weekend, as last weekend was totally spent in Chennai-Bangalore-NITTians reunion. the movies in the list were: Zodiac, Transformers, Mr Brooks, Blur, Children Of Men, Outlaw, Awarapan, Catch A Fire, The Last Mimzy, The Light (White Noise II), Premonition, Music And Lyrics, Eragon, The Hills Have Eyes II, The Other Side, Blood & Chocolate, The Astronaut Farmer, Pathfinder, Blade Runner, Die Hard 4.0, Apne, Mera Pehla Pehla Pyaar... since friday evening i've been watching them nonestop. three of them were really chaat and i skipped them. Astronaut Farmer is a bit sensible and Music & Lyrics is Romantic so leave it. Rest all are sci fi, thriller, action, horror etc. Though i've never reviewed these sort of movies but just to give a try, i'm reviewing White Noise.

before that,

1) hollywood has lot of money and the producers dream a lot. watever dreams they get in night, they put it in the movie when they get up in morning !!!

2) hollwood has taken a responsibility to save the world.

3) every single kind of movie should have at least one romantic scene!!!

4) all movies have one superhero.

5) rest all the evils.

6) every single american dialogue should have at least one fuck used within.

7) american police really works well.

8) all super-natural, alien like stuff, natural disaster happens in newyork.

9) coz of above reason, all super heroes are settled in new york.

10) all US females are ready to do it, any time, any where !!! :P

11) all US kids are smarter than their parents.

12) for all US girls, their fathers are A$$h0le.

13) no phone works in US when u need.

14) same with electicity too.

15) all US systems are highly secured with alarms.

16) driving is too fun there !!!

17) all US kids are born experts with gadgets.

18) everybody has a gun there.

19) they dont bother bout condoms !!!

20) all americans have really large mouth. doesnt matter it's bout talking or it's bout eating large sized burgers.

21) they eat too much.

22) in the end, everyone is stupid.

23) though, everyone gets a kiss before the end.

24) US is great !!!

now, come back to White Noise.

White Noise is a story bout a guy who has NearDeathExperience. now he's able to identify ppl who're goin to die in a very near future. all he does is tries to save them. but after some time, he realises he shouldnt temper with someone's death. coz if u save someone, he becomes an evil in three days !!! typical hollywood concept. and he goes back and kills all those whom he had saved...!!!

fine, dont want to write anymore, it's boring. no reviews for insensible movies anymore. though, good special effects, good sound and nice time pass.

but wait, think twice before saving someone's life. though, i had saved one small cute little girl's life long back in school days when we had gone for tracking. and for good of all, she hasnt turned into evil so far and she's having a happy life !!!

Message Mess !!!

2007-07-21T01:31:00.001+05:30

i was talking to one friend on mine from delhi. he was so excited bout his new girlfrn and god knows why on the earth, he chose me to inform bout it. when i ended the call, i saw a flashing alert on screen "u've a new msg". it was like after one and half month i could see this alert. i was pretty excited knowing that i can use my mob this way also. i mean, i felt this quite strange way that messaging is another protocol ppl communicate on. with an urge to reply, i clicked on show, n all i got is - "New Exciting Caller Tunes - dial ... bla bla bla... etc etc etc..."

damn !!! spams, they're so irritating !!! i just got too pissed off and called the Hutch customer care. is there any way that i dont get this promotional offers msges...? and luckily they gave me an option. type DND (DO NOT DISTURB) and send it to 111. immediately i composed a msg (even that took so much of time. i just couldnt recollect wat's the shortcut on my keypad to compose a new msg !!! damn !!!)

i typed DND and sent it to 111. thought now will never need to check my inbox. locked my keypad back and threw my mob on table. it made really weird noise. seriously, Newton sucks. suddenly, it got an alert u've received two msges !!!

ha ha, i opened the inbox and saw two msges. first, from 111: we care your privacy. second: you just spoke to Namita. Would you like to give your feedback? Reply in Yes or No. i just got scared of more spams and replied NO. but god knows why i am the chosen one and i received another msg: did the attender resolve your issue? was the attender's voice firm enough bla bla bla !!!

i didnt reply anything and then there came three msges together. one was bout exciting harry potter tunes. another one was bout free local messaging offer. totally useless. third one was bout free calling to a local number, even more useless !!!

before i delete them all, another scary msg !!!! Ur payment for ICICI bank credit card is due...!!! let me live plhhhheeeeeeeeeejjjj!!! and to add more in these spams, aonther one from hero honda i got bout some promotional offers. why the hell all the spams have to come altogether !!! i preferred not to call customer care coz didnt want give feedback bout Namita again.

was just thinking this is wat it means by DND !!! take all the spams in a single shot so that we dont have to disturb u later !!! i just turned my mob off took the keyboard to start antoher movie. damn these ants !!! why i m so sweet :D

An Unusual Date

2007-07-14T01:52:00.002+05:30

she - "so, finally u came !!! i cant believe this !!! i thought u just said that u r coming !!!"

me - "wat's there not to belive!?!?! i said i will come n i came !!!"

she - "u look so pissed. wat happened?"

me - "it's 10 o'clock n i still have this iCard hanging around my neck. i m coming straight from the office. wat u expect me to look like??? i mean, who am i after all?!?!? just a one year fresher who's supposed to enjoy on friday nights or a ten years experience holder manager who's supposed to work even on weekends !!!"

she - "ha ha. ok tell me one thing, wat u'd have done if u were free after six??? tell me frankly... nothing, right. then why making faces like this !!! how come u r bothered bout work?!?!? u r an NITian, u are well used to face the stress of last moment. after all, that is wat u ppl learn in college, finish everything at last moment."

me - "come on !!! i've nothing else to do it doesnt mean that i just keep working !!! anyway, u ordered something? i m just too hungry."

she - "i've ordered one paneer pizza for me. wat u'll take?"

me - "that guy is bringing ur order. i'm gonna eat that. u order watever u want."

she - "chill kid. wat is ur problem... why r u banging on that chair."

me - "i m just too fed up with everything."

she - "see, how old u r!?!?! may be 22, 23??? look at me. i m about to cross 82, more than three times of ur age. still, i m more smiling than u!!! even now it feels like hardly it has been a week since my divorce. it's all bout taking life in a positive way. one should enjoy every moment he lives. more the negative u r, more difficult it'll be to tackle the situation."

me - "so, wat's ur plan now? are u continuing with ur kids-play-center here? or going back to amritsar?"

she - "no, i dont feel like goin back there. i like these kids a lot. at this age, it feels really nice spending time with them. they remind me my childhood. they r so innocent. and they've mingled with me very well. i cant leave them just like this. let them stand on their own feet, then i'll think of leaving them, if i get a chance. my life is too short now, ha ha."

me - "hmmm, that's sounds really nice."

she - "dont say just for the sake of saying it. and wat is wrong with u? this is the sixth pouch of pepper u r adding on pizza. r u mad??!?!?!"

me - "nothing. just mera dhyaan kahi aur tha."

she - "either u r a very good actor or really there's something. tell me beta, kya hua?"

me - "why u keep arguing on everything??? i know u r quite matured and very older than me and u know a lot more about life than me. may be the things which are like big headache for me is nothing for u. ok, like i was just too tired today, n while coming here, my bike got punctured... now this is a very small thing, but a series of such things just makes u too pissed off."

she - "that's it!?!?!? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... ok tell me one thing. u lie to ur parents?"

me - "wat it has to do with my punctured bike?!?!?! anyway, ya.. sometimes. when i need. i mean, obviously, i'll lie only if i need."

she - "hmmm, then i m sure in most of the cases when u have some problem, u wont be going to ur parents. right? coz u'd never like them to know bout ur problems. ur problems will always be from certain domain that u'll never expose to them. in fact, u'd be used to it. given u r staying away from them since a long time. i mean, i m not talking bout ur punctured bike, i m just talking n general way. "

me- "ya right. i generally never talk to them bout it coz they're sitting there 1900 kms away n there'll be nothing that they'd be able to do bout it. so i just keep them away from it. and anyway i not a kid. i can take care of myself."

she - "ya i can see that. how nicely u take care of urself. ignoring the prbolems is not solving the problems. tell me wat u did for ur punctured bike?"

me - "i left it there. wat else?!!??"

she - "that's wat. u could have got it fixed. but no, u're a laziest person i've ever seen. i know u NIT students very well. i've served as a professor for 15 years in NIT Shrinagar, and after that i was in IIT Mumbai for seven years. i know each and every habit of u ppl. infact, i've been so friendly with them that i exactly know the way they work."

me - "i really didnt understand wat u said. neither i want to. i cant think more. i'm gonna order another pizza."

she - "wait, i've not finished yet. so, u dont tell ur parents bout anything. fine. wat bout friends??? u've any frns here? ur room partners? ur colleagues? with whom u hangout in office? i mean, not work related talk, just some pass time. say breaks n lunch n all?"

me - "i guess none. though i had some frns from other NITs in my earlier office. but none here. i hangout with anybody i encounter first. no preference as such. n otherwise generally alone."

she - "n wat bout ur room partners?"

me - "i'm staying with my college frns. they've been my wingmates in college time. so have good understanding with them. cant survive with other ppl."

she "then u must be drinking a lot. being an NITian, u must be used to it. and given u r not open to anybody, u have all the reasons in the world to drink."

me - "why u've to answer every argument of mine n why r u fighting with me??!?!?!?"

she - "i m not fighting with u. we are here to make the most productive use of the time. i just want to know something bout ur eventful life and in return wat u get is a lot of funda bout life wat only a matured person can give u. and i am not all bothered whether u'll follow it or not. just listen to me for a while."

me - "why do u think every problem of my life is such a big PROBLEM !!! i m having quite a normal life like any other person. i get up, go to office, do my work, come back, watch a movie n sleep. where do u see a problem??!?!?! why r u advising me like i m having the most miserable life !!!"

she - "coz u r pretending like that !!! u r just trying to act like u r a matured person. u r making a false impression that watever u r doing is being done only after a long analysis. that; i believe; is not at all true. u r just a materialistic person who's not gettting a chance to be so. for watever reason. i m not at all interested in knowing that coz ur reasons might be very big trouble for u, but from my perspective, it's just nothing."

me - "can u come to the point."

she - "see, everyone; either a child, or an oldi like me; has certain policies of life. they live on certain principles. wat is urs."

me - "my policy is; when u go to sleep, u should have at least one reason to smile. u should have done at least one good thing in the day which makes u feel nice. that's how i define a worth-living-life."

she - "n how do u define good? is good something which earns u money? or is good something which earns u fun?"

me - "well, i dont know that."

she - "then ur definition is incomplete. when u dont know wat is a good life, how can u live a good life?!?!?!"

me - "then u tell me."

she - "a good life is, when u have a supportive surrounding."

me - "but that is something which is never in our hand."

she - "listen to me first. now, this supportive surrounding doesnt come itself. it's something wat u can make. not everybody is gandhiji who can change the world. for a normal person like u and me, we have to adjust to our surrounding. and when u have a supporting surrounding. nothing will go wrong if u make sure everything around u is fine, is correct."

me - "u know i m an NITian. i cant adjust with other ppl that easily. i need my type of ppl, who can think at my frequency, who can act at my amplitude. i m four years ahead than any other private college student and that's a fact."

she - "n wat u get after being four years ahead?!?!?!? everytime u reach a place u have to wait for four years so that everyone else comes with u. coz u've to got to walk along with the others !!! beta, not everywhere this pride is going to work. i not saying u give up everything wat u r. nothing wrong in being urself. but just learn to adjust with watever is given. that makes life much eaiser. that is wat u ppl have lernt in four years. make the most productive use of watever u have. none gets techincal qualifications in central institutes. wat u get is taking ur life at ur own. u've learnt it and now it's the time to use it."

me - "n that makes ur life like a machine. wat u r saying is just work for others' purpose. where's the scope for ourselves??!!?!?"

she - "wat do u need? money. wat i m saying will surely get u money. wat else??"

me - "just look at u. u must have followed wat u r advising me. wat u've got? i m really sorry to ask u this, but i have to."

she - "no adviser follows wat he says. and that is why he advises. i've been so in-flexible in my life, and that is why i m alone at this stage of life. i'm just giving u the extract of my life experience."

me - "i think being flexible puts u more in trouble. may be u r flexible, but wat if others r not. u make urself open to someone, but wat if it doesnt matter at all for him. wont u feel hurt?"

she - "dont expect everybody to act upon wat u r doing. just do it. life ends one day. and there is total blank beyond that. u'll never get to realise who cried after u and what's happening behind u. wat u think, wat u do, wat u earn, wat u gain, wat u feel; nothing matters. wat we are actually? just a complex of some chemicals which are maintained at a particular level by the electromagnetic signals generated by brain which itself is a chemical complex. humans are nothing but a house of chemicals which can exchange information between each other. our society, this eco cycle, financial procedures is nothing when we analyse where we are. we are on the earth, which is a part of solar system and it exists in a milky way which holds zero value in this universe. and we dont even know how many universes are there. forget it, we dont even know wat is beyond the universe. u r too young to even think of wat is beyond the life. u r a part of a most complex cycle or the system for which, ur existance dosnt matter at all. there's always a replacement for u but from ur side, there's not replacement for the system. u r not at all important for the world; but at the same time, this world is the most important thing for u. u need this world, to prove ur very existance. all i am saying is, life is the most important thing everyone has. learn how to make it beautiful. dont bother about leaving a mark on this world. ppl may remember gandhiji today, but wat is the use? is gandhiji able to enjoy this fame? better we make everyday of ours worth living. that's more than enough. and for that, u've got to get along with the system. may be in first try, u'll feel hurt, but u've got to accept this truth. wait, this hurt word is too serious and not applicable to everywhere. i m not talking bout personal relations, i m just talking bout the work life. nobody gets hurt in work life."

me - "our discussion is just getting directionless. we better talk normal."

she - "ha ha. ok fine, let's get back to 22 from 82. u have any girlfrn?"

me - "can u ask me anything other than this girlfrn stuff!?!?!? i m just too sick of that question."

she - "there u go. pissed off again. ok baba, fine. u want garlic bread?"

A Ride to Madhushala

2007-07-06T20:58:00.001+05:30

I had ignored this beautiful creation of Harivansh Rai Bachchan; Madhushala; in my school days. at that time, this poem was just another segment of lines in my Hindi text book. Even on campus intranet, i got a chance to read it on Hindi Portal, but i was hardly into reading business in those days when pleasure of messaging was more important. now, i feel like going back to nokia and ask them to remove this messaging feature from my mobile and give me some refund !!! anyway, let's not get into that, and have a ride to madhushala.

Madhushala, literal english translation will be BAR, a place where you get liquor. But that's very usual meaning. let's have a view from Harivansh Rai Bachchan's perspective. Madhushala is a place where saaki gives pleasure to everyone who needs. He brings a pause in miseries, multiplies the happiness, gives fuel to run the life. Madhushala is a place beyond the religions, beyond the languages, beyond the politics. Madhushala, a place which never denies from letting you in doesnt matter who u r, doesnt matter u r a personal friend or a social enemy. Madhushala, who packs a whole world inside it, which has something for everyone.

If madhushala is a place, is a destination, there has to be paths leading towards it. There will be colorful streets full of religious celebration. ppl freaking out in holi or diwali or navratri will be walking towards madhushala. There will be dark streets from where silent faces; ignoring the best memories of their life; will be looking for madhushala. There will be shining roads full of materialism; rich ppl will look for the best option to throw their money, madhushala. There will be a backyard of broken hearted. there will be ppl there; cherishing the smooth touch of hand; raising hands towards madhushala. there will be rocking highways. There will be rockers there looking for more musical fuel and reading the sign boards explaining the direction to madhushala. There will be a political junction. four different parties from four different directions. one to enjoy the victory, other three to chill down the defeat, all four searching for madhushala. an avenue of youth. youngsters eager to make new bonds of relations, booking a table in madhushala. a fly-over of suicide-ready minds. in an urge to live one more day, looking for a life line in madhushala. a circle of pissed of ppl from office and home, all in need to bang in madhushala. a parking of frozen spirits. expecting a medicine; which can make their moments frozen forever; from madhushala. a talkative signal. there will be talkative ppl un-spoken since days and days, asking the way to madhushala. there will be a park of past. dry eyes reading wet memories and reading the timings of madhushala. a subway of truth. ppl not brave enough to accept the truth, searching a shelter of madhushala.

in the end, here are my four lines straight from the heart, Dedicated to a sensible creation of Harivansh Rai Bachchan, Madhushala.

Jeevan ki yeh charam seema par
asamanjas se vyaakul, krodh se peedit,
samasht srishti ko bhootkal main jalaake,
Ujaagar ho rahi hai Madhushala.

IIFA Awards 2007

2007-07-05T23:52:00.001+05:30

don't worry ! this is not another rediff.com/glamsham.com types bollywood crap. i'm gonna just list down some stuff cought my attention when i was watching IIFA Awards 2007 today. actually i downloaded it for some item numbers (come on !!! i m also a male human after all !!!), but sad, there were very few...

1... Bipasa's show !!! i really appreciate the structure of female human tissues. i dont think anything on the earth can stand such a stretching force (which is T = a X m X r²; where T is angular force on Bipasa's front weapon's tissues, a is angular acceleration in peak points of Bipasa's front weapons, m is total mass of those things of Bipasa and r is the average radius of those killer stuff !) other than female human tissues. damn !!! her moves on Beedi Jalaayi Le song... in the audience, one guy looked like he had just lost crores and crores in share-market and jhandi's comment on him was - "Aaise afsos kar raha hai jaise Bipasa ka baap ho !"

2... Shilpa Shetty ka jaadu !!! be it's dance or just an appearance on the stage, it makes the crowd go wild !!! her dance was absolutely superb and for once, i felt like dancing in my room !!! she danced on lot of songs which were actually directed for someone else and she proved that those songs would have been much better on her (including Aishwarya). and the speed of changing cloths of hers. the crew working behind her cloths was more faster than the crew which works in the pit of formula one to revamp the car in 30 seconds !!! and the time she comes to accept the award, total 120^o view of both the things, one clockwise and one anticlockwise !!! and she made this angle even more larger when she told - "the credit goes to my parents !!!" poor that couple. kya kare, beti haath se kab nikal gayi pata hi nahi chala !!! ha ha !!!

3... then there came Raima Sen. we simply forwared coz she was wearing too much to watch her even for three seconds.

4... does there exist any image processing software which can recognise Tushar Kapoor's face and can make that particular area of the screen blurred???

5... Arjun Rampal!!! thank god i m not gay, otherwise i would have committed suicide when i saw him with his wife, Madhu Sapre.

6... There came Dharam Paaji, Sunny Deol and Boby Deol... i nearly got a heart attack when Dharmendra said "Main puchhana chaahta hu yahaan bethe hue un tamaam..." and he just reminded me Sunil Pal mocking him somedays back in The Great Indian Laughter Challenge. it's too hard to watch original Dharmendra now...!!! and Sunny and Boby, i simply laughed :D

7... Katrina Kaif and Soha Ali Khan, two cute wax dolls sitting side by side, whom to watch more !!!

8... Hritik !!! i hate Hritik in any movie of him except one, Lakshya, but still, he looked hot. But i'd prefer Arjun Rampal :) and ya, it just reminded me one scene from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum. when he gets a slap from Jaya. Me and SP have watched this scence particularly for thousand times !!!

9... Karan Johar !!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!

10... Boman Irani, he simply rocks throughout the show, just like his best ever movie Let's Talk.

Close Encounter With Feminine Gender

2007-07-04T15:28:00.001+05:30

"Sweetheart, it's not the time to do it. Neither this is my room nor i m ur everyday guy" - i tried to stop her in that dark cold wet tempting night, but she had really gone too wild to come back to normal.

erotic voice of Dido had turned her on and now she was not letting me go back to sleep at all. i thought for a while, n decided not to make any move. after all, all i wanted was just to sleep ! i was not at all ready for this ! god knows from where she had dropped in and started pinching me here and there !

i got up and tried to look at her. then looked here and there and made sure there wasn't anybody looking at us from outside. after all, it was my frn's room i was sleeping in. though it wasn't hurting much, but still; even of thinking about something near my neck makes sensations flow in my blood; she was literally moving her fingers there !!! before i could decide what to do now, she had reached my back. a soft touch travelling from my neck towards my waist !!! that was just too tickling in the most ticklish area of my skin !!!

i was still confused whether i should follow her or not. now, she was really giving me electrifying shocks on my waist and before i could do something about it, she moved forward. hey wait, that's really most private area of mine !!! aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! not there, plzzzzzzzz !!!

easy baby !!! come back from there. not that fast. go slow. i tried to move her from there. like she understood it and tried to go with all these slowly. like she was telling me that full night is there, why to hurry !!! she started climbing up and came back to the neck from the front way. none else has done this before with my chest so far and she was really enjoying this honour of hers !!!

she enjoyed my neck a lot for a while and moved to my lips. so far, i was silent spectator but now, this move of hers made me a little interactive and i touched her for the first time. oh god, i tell u, i just couldn't keep my hand on her for more than half millisecond !!! she was too silky and just slipped away from under my fingers !!! i placed my fingers on her leg, pulled her a little down and tried to have a closer look of hers. but her lips were just locked with mine and it took more than ten seconds before my lower lip was stretched almost double !!!

now, these was really too much for a 22 years old virgin frustoo bachelor !!! i made a final analysis and decided to use this god gifted chance. if my destiny has decided that my frustration has to end this way, let it.

i took her hand in my hand, and brought it near my face. her body also pulled along with her hand and now, she was in front of me, looking into my eyes. i scaned her naked body from top to bottom, front to back, left to right. she had a great figure and looked totally hot and horney !!! i moved my finger a little and she started swirming like anything !!! her faced turned up like with a huge force of passion, she was challenging me - "Do it baby !!!"

without any plan, i moved my other hand a little up, and...

sssppppppppplllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!

...i killed that ant and went to sleep.

.

A Day of Accidents

2007-07-03T00:01:00.001+05:30

It was pretty much my kind of day today. SP called at 1 o'clock in afternoon and broke my dream. i started off to office and saw three cars killing each other at a signal. before i analyse what were the brands of the car, one bike bumped into another car. damn!!! it was difficult for ppl gathered around to decide whom to save first !!! but not for me. i had only one very very short term goal of reaching office (sorry for that management/HR lingo, even i hate it). while coming back from office, i saw one bus crushing one car parked in left. someone pls explain to this bus drivers of chennai that they all r not Michael Schumacher !!!

The last one i saw was at 11:30. i was having juice at the beach corner after stuffing 4 paraathas spiced up by Shabanam Mausi. there, one hunk was taking a right turn in wrong manner looking at his girlfrn who was coming back to him with two ice creams in hand. suddenly, god knows what happened, but i heard a scream of that girl "oh noooooooooooo!!!" and saw two ice cream cones falling down !!! (they were really good enough to bring water in ur mouth :D) my eyes followed the direction she was running to, and i spotted that hunk flat on road with his bike on his left leg. no need to say enough ppl had gathered there in another five seconds. some of them were just looking for something new to do, rest of them were more curious bout things behind deep neck sleeveless top of that girl bending down to bring her guy back on his feet.

she didnt care bout the ppl and started talking to the guy - "Jaan, are you ok? jyaada chot to nahi lagi?" (n ya, one obvious action she did that was adjusting her hair locks !!! they're just too complex at times !)

that hunk - ya, i m ok. it's alright.

i am sure, he said that just to prove he's a stud, otherwise i know it very well how does it feel when u've a 126 kg Bajaj Pulsar fallen on ur leg. ppl don't abuse Newton just like that !!!

arey, wat u mean it's ok??? it's bleeding !!! chalo, sit down there, i'll bring some cotton and dettol. - she was really a care taking girlfrn !!!

now, it was really a suspense for me from where she was going to get this first aid stuff from that corner full of food joints !!! anyway, i continued with my juice, and she came to that juice corner and asked for dettol !!! i looked at my glass of grape juice with a doubt !!!

obviously that shopkeeper replied no and she turned back to the guy. sad, she was already wearing too less to go by the bollywood way, where heroines tear their saari for their saiyaan.

now, i was having a first aid kit in my bike (though, it wasnt enough to use for me when i was flat on a fly-over that night) which was still unused. the good part of my soul just took over me and inspired me to help that guy and to prove that my life was worth living. i walked three steps and reached that couple. spoke something after a long time - "i have antiseptic and bandage if you want."

that guy looked up. the girl had already started staring at me when i was two steps away from them. the guy turned his face towards the girl. like i had dropped in their bedroom at 2 o'clock on their first night, she replied - "No, thanks."

fine, not a big deal. just another entry in the list of ppl who have decided to boycott me.

LOPAZ disconnected

2007-07-01T02:19:00.000+05:30

"Kya matlab hai yaar !!! copy kar raha tha main !!! Disconnect kyo kiya?" - i screamed at Ishan at peak of my volume which was enough to reach from Topaz#48 to Topaz#57. i never realised that without these voices, time is gonna bring the dumbest silence in our lives in a month.

"Abey hagge, shaam ko 9 baje train hai meri, pack karna hai comp. sirf teen ghante bache hai." - i heard smoked voice of him n gave up my activity of copying some snaps we took together at RECAL-Welcome-treat, a keep-forever photos which i've browsed thru for like thousand times.

"toh ye pakka na ke switch main leke aaunga Chennai. apan dono saath main rehne waale hai, room main LAN lagaake game khelenge roz..." - i started walking towards Ishan's room, the usual direction i took everytime after getting out of my room and initiated a plan that unfortunately we could never execute.

"woh toh tab agar teri bhi posting chennai main hai" - Ishan wasn't sure bout my posting is gonna be in chennai or bangalore. there were chances of delhi too.

"Dekh lenge yaar, waise bhi, last main switch mere paas hi aani hai. main, SP aur Monil last main nikalenge" - i expressed an urge to keep the switch !!!

"Yaar, ye switch. bohot yaad aayega. kitna pela hai hum logo ne isko pichhle ek saal se." - Latch, who had just poped out from his room; which was exactly on half way from my room to Ishaan's room; n started with usual senti dialogues. either Latch was just senti types from the very begining or it was a trend in that last month, everyone was getting too senti on everything. half of the lopaz gang was about to leave today. watever we were doing together, was the last for us. we played a last game in morning. we watched a last movie together after that.

"Chaat saale, ye senti bakwaas band kar. Aur chutye, tu kyo rakhega switch??? paise share kiye hai tune iske!!!!???!?!?!" - our voices were enough to pull Daadru out of his room. like it had been a rule in lopaz wing, if any three members are found together in the corridor, rest all had to join them. or i guess, eversince ppl had booked the tickets back to home, nobody wanted to be alone, everyone was spending little moments with everyone.

"behen ke l#&d, tere ko diye to the parso. aur kitni baar du!??!!??!? " - i defended myself n pulled out one kings.

"Neeeeeeeeextttttttttt" ... "Neeeeeeeeeextttttt" - both, Daadru n Ishan screamed. it was hard to decide for me who's the first counter. i can never think of any two of us without the third one. just thought for a while, wat will happen when we all three will be surviving without the other two? now n i gave Ishan a chance n started the last usual types counter under lopaz roof.

the last "Next" was loud enough to bring smoke-hungry visiting members of LOPAZ; Bhattar and Somu from ground wing. they joined the counter with their nexts.

there was something about that ambience in those last days. everything was so heavy like everybody's heart. like there were tons of thoughts dumped on everyone's mind. everyone was tryin hard to look usual. that day, i had stared at the wall in my room which i had screwed months back with Ishan, SP and Daadru. even now, everyone was so silent, though, i could see an urge to talk a lot on everyone's face there. i looked at bhattar, n thought when did i meet this guy first? n never got the answer. looked at ishan and daadru and tried to figure out the number of hours we had spent together. how will i survive without this two guys?!?!?! i looked at others, n thought for a while how closely our lives were integrated with each other. how complex those bonds had been till now. it was like, everything was goin so well, one fine morning, u wake up n someone comes to u with a short-notice - "hey, u've got to leave now, pack ur bags." i looked at Ishan. he threw the butt and released a white semi-transparent cloud which wrapped all of us closely. nobody spoke anything for a while. some of us, had a forced smile on our lips. Somu was staring at the corridor. i turned my face up and looked at the words we cribbed with candle on Diwali. for a second, it felt like falling in an infinite depth with everyone left behind. i couldnt resist that silence. i pulled out myself from that n stepped back towards Jhandi's room.

i looked at his messy luggage. he was trying hard to push the monitor into the box. i felt his frustration. he looked like just hating that job of packing and leaving this place, leaving all of us.

he followed the trend of talking in kidish way which was set by Latch a long back and said "Unkil, meli pleeeeeeeeeeeeej madad kalo na packing kalne main..."

"pachaas rupye lunga main !!!" - my gujju instinct spoke from inside of me.

"saale, kabhi to bhala kar diya kar kisi ka. bhool gaya tere ko kitna udhaar diya hai maine !!!" - he tried hard to trap me.

"toh waapas bhi to kiya hai maine. rakh thodi na liya hai hamesha ke liye..." - the kameena bloodgroup of mine was not letting me down.

"kutte, jitni maggi khaayi hai na tum logo ne meri, uska total 1000 se jyaada hoga..." - there was innocent sadness in that voice.

ya, that was true. i never kept any track how many packs of maggi we had stolen from his room so far whenever we felt hungry at 4 in night. he is the guy who took me to hospital at 2 in night once when i was sick. he is the guy who was always ready with a helping hand. he is the guy who stayed up till 6 in morning jus before the exams to make all of us learn some important things which can make us pass the exams. he is the guy who never looked at us as just another person on the earth. he is the guy, one of us. i started packing his monitor n gave him assurance - "cool hai, dekh agar meri bhi posting chennai main hui to main tujhe roz maggi khilaunga."

i got a call from SafeExpress parcel service n i came out from that mess. i saw Sumit and Varun having a last look at their class photos in next room before packing their comps.

"Oye Dijjay !!! tera toh viva tha na kal? kaisa gaya? maine suna tumhaare external IITB ke prof the. kitna chaata?" - curious Varun. doesnt matter wat place wat time it is, he's always ready with the questions !!!

"Ghanta chaata. woh baahar betha bakar maar raha tha hamaari HOD ke saath. mere ko pata bhi nahi tha ke viva hai. mein ishan ke room main maal maar raha tha, class-rep ka phone aaya ke ab to aaja dept, tera viva hai. main aadha nashe main gaya aur bakwaas karke aa gaya. waise bhi GPA ki maa chudi padi hai, ek viva se koi fark nahi padta." - i told the same story i had been telling to everyone since my viva.

that was followed by a laughter from them. Sumit was trying hard to finish one last game from the collection i gave him last month. Sumit, my all time night-out partner and a techi fundoo. unlike Varun, who had been in my gaming team since first sem; i couldnt remember since when me and Sumit came to know each other. but today, when i realised he's one of those without whom i cant imagine my life, it's time to say good bye.

i heard Latch's need-help kinda voice. i left Sumit and Varun browsing thru the memories behind me and walked in latch's room.

"yaar, ye switch nikaalne main madad kar meri. cables kaise nikaalu samajh main nahi aa raha." - he pointed out messy network of sixteen cables with switch, which looked as complicated and numb as all of us.

the lopaz switch - a local area network hub holding sixteen cables in it's ass. there were sixteen lights blinking on it saying a message everyone is connected. we had set up this LAN in our wing a long back, for a primary purpose of movies, songs and data transfer between the wingmates. there were sixteen cables leaving from the switch going to everyone's room. this hub was holding all of us together, everytime. it helped a lot in announcing the gatherings in room. with this hub, we played games on network for hours n hours. lazy ppl used it to chat with the person in next room !!! this is the switch which gave this friend group an identity. this switch gave the voices of latenight shootouts and car chase in the wing. the switch which kept the music flowing. now it was time to turn it off, to disconnect all sixteen cables. and it was time to disconnect ourselves from everyone's heart, everyone's life.

i moved my hand towards the power switch, but Pink Floyd playing High Hopes on Latch's comp made me pause for a while. i took the key-board in hand, typed a msg - "Maal. Ishan's room. 10 mins. Switch is turning off now, forever." and sent to all. i opened lopaz window, n took a screenshot.

finally, we turned off the power first. pulled out the adapter and killed the supply to the heart of lopaz. still, there were sixteen threads coming from sixteen rooms in an integrated messy way. we picked one by one, unplugged them. all of them were now separated, disconnected from each other.

i looked at Latch, like we spoke tons of lines thru those four silent eyes. i turned back to key-board, refreshed the lopaz window. and Bill Gates laughed at our sentiments - "LOPAZ is inaccessible."

Chennai Central, 23rd May 2006

2007-06-16T22:04:00.001+05:30

Beep...Beep... Beep...Beep...

a tickling vibration in my left pocket made me pause my bargaining with the autowallah. it was my mob. flashing a new msg alert on screen. i unlocked the key-pad, opened the inbox. a distinguished arrow-mark followed by a name SP was highlighted on top. like mobile had forecasted the vacuum in upcoming years without this name n it was warning to be ready for it.

i pressed OPEN n read the beginning of my first conversation with SP of that day - "u reached?"

i typed - "m on my way. ciya there in ten mins" n pressed send.

a reply came to keep the conversation alive - "ok, m waiting here"

i decided not to reply anymore, for two important reasons; 1) i was on roaming n was already running outta balance, given the sem-end-finance-crisis we all had faced, and 2) it would have been so difficult to end it in a single msg wat all i had to say. so jus instructed the autowallah - "Anna, drive fast. Main thoda jaldi main hu."

the autowallah understood my needs n speeded up. he made me reach there in no time. non-verbally, i said thanks. he didnt care bout this silent thanks n demanded 200 bucks for CMBT to Central. i chose not to waste even a single second outside as i had only three unforgettable hours in my hand. i pulled out two 100s from my wallet. took my bag, started walking towards platform number six n realised it's gonna end even with her who gifted me this wallet on my last b'day. i preferred not to disturb her as i just had a conversation with her till 5 in morning since i took a bus after last dinner; n started hunting for SP in that crowd of at least 2000 happy ppl.

"i m in first row, near the Dishnet HUB" - another information from SP thru my mob. this was my 8th time in Chennai Central since the day i got into this NIT system n i was quite familiar wat is where so straight away dragged myself with luggage towards the HUB. i spotted his eyes, like they were hooked on me since he saw me entering the Central. i took a chair next to him, placed my bag n tried my best to smile. it was jus 8 hours back we were together in taxi from campus to CBS before he took a train and i took a bus to Chennai. but these 8 hours i felt much more longer than 4 years long NITT life.

"Kitne baje hai teri train?" - though i was well aware that Koromondal Express leaves at 9:20, i found something to talk about.

"9:20. teri???" - a last-resort like reply he threw back.

"9:35, Navjeevan Express" - i gave the best i could.

"Sab kitna jaldi khatam ho gaya" - he came to the point.

"hanger aur night lamp bhi bechne pade !!! shit yaar...!!! ye to hadd thi !!!" - i threw a laughter capsule which brought a sudden burst of laugh on both the faces.

"Terrace se bottles utaarke bech dete to aur 300-400 mil sakte the. Ravi ko bhi 1500 dene hai." - he added more to laughter.

"1500 nahi, 1800. 1500 to Piran ko dene hai." - I corrected.

"Richin kya kar raha hai abhi ghar pe? Chatt raha hoga gandaa wala." - he changed the topic to figure out wat we're going to do once we'd be in the same situation.

I jumped 12 days back on the timeline when I had gone to see off Richin that evening; Richin, who had been my heart and soul since the first day in NITT. We both were highly-sad n sadly-high for that whole day. There were only five mins left for the train to leave n still, we were sitting outside to steal the last moments. After the last announcement, we got up for a final bye. We hugged each other, n all the feelings had multiplied in another five seconds. We communicated our four years life in just three minutes !!! Like he had monitored my heart-beats, he requested - "Dekh, rona mat. Main hanste hue jaana chaahta hu." Just to act upon his request, I banged - "Ghanta rounga main. Saale lag hi nahi raha ke tu jaa raha hai !!!" n that broke our physical bond as the train had started moving. He caught the yellow pipe on the train door n I started walking along with the train. I gave the usual lines of ours which we used very oftenly before - "Dekh train se baahar mat nikalna, aur anjaan logo se baate mat karna aur kisi ka diya hua to khaana hi mat !!!" he managed a wet smile n said - "Cool hai, tu aur SP saath main hi nikalne waale ho na." n that conversation continued with a phone call to him as I couldn't match the train speed.

"Gaadi number 2656 Chennai-Ahmedabad Navjeevan Express platform number 2 se 9:35 pe ravaana hogi." - an announcement for western railways' reputed train brought me back to Chennai Central.

"Richin abhi baroda aanewala hai thode dino baad." - I completed my pending answer.

"Posting ke baad kiske saath rahega kuchh socha hai?" - another question from SP.

"Agar Delhi main posting hai to Richin, agar bangalore main hai to Daadru aur agar Chennai main hai to Ishan." - I disclosed my quite predictable future plan.

"Monil bhi chala gaya aaj. Bada udaas tha." - he gave me a known information.

"Jaadu bhi." - I added more in Encyclopedia-of-ppl-left-from-Topaz.

"Puri wing kitni khaali khaali lag rahi thi. Sid sab se pehle nikla tha. Laveesh, Sumit, Tyagi, Daadru, Ishan ye sab 10th ko nikle. Musa, Dheela, Varun aur Jhandi 15 ko. Fir Richin aur fir Latch abhi 18 ko nikla. Saale, sab ke sab do din aur nahi ruk sakte the. Jina mushkil ho gaya tha udhar pichhle do din se." - now I came back to the point.

"Niche bhi baap. Mann hi nahi kar raha tha kamre se baahar nikalne ka aaj. Sab kitna badla badla sa lag raha hai sab ke jaane ke baad. Pura Topaz bhootiya ban gaya hai." - he added more to mine.

"Aaj main subah uthte hi galti se daadru ke room chala gaya sutta mangne. Bhool gaya ke woh to jaa chuka hai" - I put across my foolish act.

"Aur ye Pragyan. Yakeen nahi hota ke hamne 7 lakh ke business ko ek saal main 20 lakh jitna bada kar diya. Yaar, kaise reh sakte hai koi in sab ke bina. Ye hostel, ye campus, ye Octa, ye dost..." - he tried to proove that I wasn't that fool.

"Mujhe to ghar jaake bhi bohot ajeeb lagta hai. Lagta hai ke jaise guest house aa gaya hu. Har baar ghar jaate hai to vaapas aana padta hai, lekin is baar..." - I predicted an open fact.

"bhookh lagi hai. Kuchh khaaya tune?" - he paused me.

"paise kitne hai tere paas? Mujhe sutte ke liye bachaane hai." - I begged to a beggar.

"I can manage two cup noodles. come" - he offered a treat !!!

We moved to a nearby cafeteria n started with our last have-together-meal. Then we went on with any normal conversation we used to do in campus. Though, there was nothing to talk bout, as we all were aware bout each n every second of each other since last four years. We simply discussed every single moment spent together. every single incident happened with us, with our friends, with ppl in campus. Like we simply wanted to ignore that we really don't know when we'll get to see each other once we'd be in our trains in another two hours. There was jus one hour to go n we pulled out our REM books.

"Chal, ye kaam bhi khatam karte hai. Bohot hua naatak. Khatam karo ye kahaani." - I expressed it in a pretty harsh way.

We took about twenty minutes to finish it. I read what he wrote, he read what I had cribbed. N we looked at each other, n we laughed. Again we laughed and again we laughed.

The announcement of Koromondal Express' departure stopped us and we moved to AC coach. (I still wonder how that bastard managed money to book AC coach in that crisis !!! ek number ka kameena hai !!!) as usual, we looked at the reservation chart to find out how many Fs ranging from 18 to 24 are there. I engaged myself for a while into that n by the time he placed his luggage n came out.

"Chal, jaane ka time aa gaya." - he mentioned wrong thing on wrong time.

"koi bethi hai kya aas paas?" - I couldn't find any in the list.

"haa, ek do hai." - a despo reply.

"Chal, meri bhi train nikalne waali hai 10 minute main. Khatam karte hai ab." - I really had to move now.

N we looked into each other's eyes, locked each other in a close hug. I closed my eyes. Thought for a while - 'ya, this is SP. The victim of that Kadva-Methi-ka-laddu !!!'

A last line of SP - "Yaar, bohot yaad aayegi apne lopaz gang ki. call karte rehna."

I pulled out a word from my frozen throat - "pakka"

N we released each other. I tried my best to avoid eye-to-eye contact with him n just headed to platform number 2. His train had started moving. I turned back. Could see him goin inside from the door he was hanging on for a last wave from me. The train speeded up with an SP inside. I could see a shining yellow X at the end of the train in that disgusting sunlight. Was that the X on train or on the best days of our lives?

I spotted my berth in S-13 coach of Navjeevan Express which was waiting for me on platform number 2. Placed my baggage n looked into the watch. Still, two more minutes to 9:35. I called Richin. Phone was ringing on the other side.

"Oye DJ !!! Kaisa hai? Ghoos gaya train main?!?!?!? SP gaya kya?" I could see the freshness of homely food in his voice, as he had reached home last week.

"Haa. Woh bhi gaya. Ab main akela hu yaar..." - I couldn't complete my line in another 30 seconds n just stayed silent.

He figured it out perfectly on the other side of the line n said - "yaar, tu bhi udaas ho jaayega to baki sab ka kya hoga?"

Before we ended the conversation, the train had moved out of Chennai n singals to him were lost. Hutch network had ended it all.

Thursday torture

2007-06-14T23:12:00.001+05:30

it started from mornin itself. reached the office at 8 in morning (ya, u read it correct, it's 8 - Eight, six plus two). got loaded with tons of work from onsite manager. either he believes i m alladdin who will jus rub the mouse n a genie will come out to get all the scripts ready to deliver just in a snap or it was jus me who's not in mood to work today. watever it is, i got screwed in the first script itself. bloody how one can work on two different technologies at the same time!!! anyway, forget it. it's getting a bit technical. someone how, i was going on with work, Outlook 2003 popped another headache to my life n that was a request from my offshore manager for Knowledge Transfer Session for a new member in our group. damn !!! someone pl tell them there's only one me who works in HCL, not three of four copies of him !!!! though, out of four scripts which i had to deliver in another nine hours, i managed to complete two by 12:30 and it took about six visits to smoking zone. i locked my pc n headed for this KT session.

i started explaining the stuff to this new member so that i can get someone to share my work. for once, i felt like he smelled wat i was thinking as he had started making weird faces like i was explaining Geeta in greek. suddenly i heard my phone ringing in my cubicle. i rushed to it like it was the last asset i had in the world n someone was looting it. i took the call n heard a 40/60/0 bass/dry/treble sort of voice (those who didn't understand this acoustic lingo, pl contact nearby DJ).

voice - Jee main CBI anti corruption branch se bol raha hu. Mera naam Shrikant hai (name changed. for two reasons: first, i dont know how to spell his name. second, he's a CBI guy). Aap jaldi se CBI office aa jao. CBI court ne aapke against non-bailable warrant issue kiya hai.
me - but why warrant against me?!!?! main to witness hu!!!!!
voice - ha. lekin aapne last teen hearing attend nahi ki hai.
me - lekin maine notice ko respond kiya tha. u can ask the lawyer.
voice - lawyer bhi yahi betha hai. agar aap abhi aa gaye to maamla yahi khatam ho sakta hai. warna aage jaake bohot problem ho jaayegi.
me - ok, i'll be there in half an hour.
voice - hmmm, thik hai. hum wait kar rahe hai.

{ ok, those who didnt understand wat was that, i'll give a lil background. there was a cashier in my college. we will call him the accused. this guy, didnt submit the college fees of 250 students to accounts of college. he directly transferred the paid ammount from the college account to his personal account. now, total 250 students had deposited the fees (amount was INR 250*22000=5500000) and that didnt reach the central organisation account. and this accused disappeared with the ammount. college filed a case against this guy in CBI n CBI registered all this 250 students as witnesses. n they were told that in case in future if they're able to catch this guy, we'll have to attend the court hearing. this all happened when we were in 3rd semester n as usual, i was a chosen one like other 249 ppl. jus coz of this case, i've got lot of contacts in CBI !!! i'm jus a call away in case u need :) }

i reached the parking in less than 30 seconds from 2nd floor. didnt understand why i rushed that much. was it coz of CBI or i just hate that 2nd floor!?!!?!?! anyway, let's not get into that. i started off from office n felt like i was smooching sand of Rajasthan at 2 in noon. it was freaking hell outside. now i realised why they dont sun-bath in sahara. i made my way thru no entry in one way to CBI office from those jam packed roads. traffic police stopped me inbetween (obviously !!!)

tp 1 - ##*#%(*#@#@(@(*&@#(%*#&%*(something in tamil)
me - ???????????
tp 2 - kidhar jaa rahe ho? licence dikhao. no entry ka board nahi dikh raha? 200 rupye fine hai.

i pulled out the CBI summon n waved in front of his eyes.

me - dekhiye government ka maamla hai. Pl interrupt mat kijiye. mera jaana zaroori hai.

tp 1 to tp 2 - #P%*&#%#)$*(#_%()&#%)#&#&@#()$
tp 2 to tp 1 - #%I#U_%#(%*#()$*#_$(*#$*(#_$*(#_$*

tp 1 to me - ok... jaao.

n for the first time, i made a right use of the CBI summon.

the building was too crowded like any other place in chennai. it was CBI office clubbed with passport office. passport office is on ground floor n CBI is on 2nd. i paused at reception (ya, CBI offices also have a reception, but only difference is u wont find babes there).

me- can i meet Mr. Shrikant ?
lady - May i know ur name n phone number?

i gave my name and mumber, though she wasnt worth giving phone number.

she noted it down n dissolved in that set of a suspense movie. after like five mins, i got a call from some unknown number n heard come in. i went straight n reached one room named "Shrikant ". i never knew i m goin to meet a room !!!! ha ha ha ha ha (see, i managed to laugh after a long time). i pushed my head into the door, n again heard - come in Mr Parmar.

me - r u Mr. Shrikant ?
he - spit that chewing gum outside. this is CBI office.
me - i can see cigarette butts in corridor.
he - to aap pehli do hearing main kyo nahi aaye?
me - i was hospitalized on the day of first hearing. if u need, i can give u the bills as an evidence. aur dusri baar main chennai main nahi tha. aur jab woh hearing baroda transfer hui tab tak main chennai aa chuka tha.
he - aur aapne first bailable warrant ko respond kyo nahi kiya?
me - mere lawyer ne kaha ke zaroorat nahi hai.
he - aapne kya CBI ko mazaak samajh rakha hai?
me - agar meri hearing hai; as a witness; to ek baar to puchhna chaahiye na ke main available hu ya nahi !!!! main witness hu, accused nahi !
he - dekhiye, ye koi local police nahi CBI hai CBI !!! aapke against non-bailable CBI warrant hai, iska matlab samajhte ho ?!???
me - haan.
he - chalo koi baat nahi. ghabharaane ki zaroorat nahi hai. bas, ye formalities ka thoda sa paperwork hai. woh pura kar do. baaki sab ok hai.
me - so wat happened to the accused finally?
he - uski inquiry chal rahi hai. abhi mumbai jail main hai woh. aap ke bohot saare dost bhi hearing ke liye bulaaye gaye the. woh bhi aap ke jaise hi hai. bohot kam aaye the. to sab ke against bailable warrant issue hua hai.
me - actually was just to busy with my own work. i m really sorry for delaying ur process. can i meet the lawyer?
he - ha. kyo nahi. woh right side main durse room main hai.

before i analyse where that was actually, the lawyer himself had reached this room. n jus went on with advise-attend the next hearing without fail.

me - so will the accused be there?
he - yes. why?
me - do thappad maarne hai usko !!!!
he - ha ha. itne jhamele kam padte hai kya aapko?
me - :) (i somehow managed a plastic smile)
he - pehle summon copy ke pichhe ek contact number hai. usko aaj hi call kar ke matter samajh lena.
me - but woh to ghar pe hai. mujhe abhi office jaana hai waapas.
he - arrange it somehow. it's really important. talk to him before he sets the next hearing.
me - ok thanks for everything. me leaving now. bye. will call u back just in case if there's any need.

then, i walked out of that place. went to the parking. was leaving thru the gate n one guy stopped me.

guy - saahab pachaas rupye.
me - kis baat ke ?!?!?!?
guy - parking ke.
me - saale, ye CBI office hai ke multiplex?!?!?!?!
guy - kya saahab. passport ban gaya aapka. bakshish nahi doge?!?!?
me - ghanta passport b#h#nc%&d. CBI office gaya tha main.
guy - thik hai saahab, thik hai. paanch rupye do parking ke. pata nahi kahaan kahaan se aa jaate hai.

i came out of there, went to nearly by dhaba express for a buffet. n as a surprise, it was jus me alone there like the whole world had decided to boycott me. went to the counter. was too hungry to look at anything else.

me - bhaiya, ek buffet.
he - kya sir, itane dino baad. kahi gaye hue the kya?
me - nahi yaar. bus, aaj bohot dino baad is area main aana hua.
he - aur bataayiye kya chal raha hai.
me - fir aaunga kabhi, aaram se baat karne. aaj thoda jaldi main hu.

paid 75 bucks n took a chair. there were two 2.1 creative sub-woofers in a corner airing Sunidhi Chawhaan's advertising voice - come to me. bhool jaaye saara jahaan... on WorldSpace Jhankaar. before i travel back into my memories n identify the point on my timeline when this song became special for me, the RJ; like those speakers were cameras; figured out it was me there n suddenly changed the song to Ab to aadat si hai mujhko....

after sometime, there came a combo of an east indian and a west indian. one fair bitch hailing from Aasam n a hunk from Rajasthan. before i had decided not to look at them, i could figure out they jus wanted to kick me out of there. wtf, it's not my problem if u cant manage a place for romance!!! i jus looked outside from there n saw Arora Building, which gave a hard kick to my mind into last august month when i had a training there. a call from a friend came to help me n it pulled me back. just went on with the call n never realised even in this hot summer, the buffet had managed to cool down. i left it as it is n jus left the place as well.

from the same fire-ocean, i made my way to home. at a signal, heard an irritated voice from back - A$$hole !!! i looked into the left mirror. it was one living mummy-like body wrapped in white shining gloves n duppatta on a kinetic. i turned back n before i could answer anythin everyone had started blowing their horns as the signal had turned green n i was not moving. fine, it wasnt my day since the morning. i released the clutch n utilized the full force of first gear. n slowly i realised that that mummy was not able to sync with my acceleration-braking n that's why she had made her point at the signal. just to help her, i slowly moved to right n gave her way as she was about to take left turn (well, that's wat i thought). she gave a 60 degree rotation to her accelerator, passed by me n again made her point - u jerk !!!

finally i reached home to take the old summon. parked my f*cked up bike (ya, it's f*cked up coz one sin it has committed, it is my bike). saw that there was no lock on the main door. it was locked from inside.

i knocked with my key chain. the door opened. i could hear Roger Waters shouting in pain - iiiiiiiiiiiiii hhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvve become, comfortably nuuuuuuuuuuumb. a hand with a joint and a drowsy face came outside. it was my frn.

me - office kyo nahi gaya???
he - behen ke l#&d. subah uthaaya kyo nahi?!?!?!?
me - tere peda hone se pehle teri maa ko promise nahi kiya tha main ke tere ko roz subah uthaaunga !!!! chhod, extra joint hai kya?
he - aaja andar. beer bhi hai.

then we moved in. i looked at the skin beneath my wrist watch which had managed to stay brighter than any other skin on hand. like it was laughing at me - u're so f*cked !!! before i give answer to that, joint had reached my hand. i finished it, headed back to office n survived for another day.

uTorrent

2007-05-22T20:25:00.002+05:30

1) download uTorrent.exe from the following site.

link: http://www.utorrent.com

2) now, run this exe. it might ask u some crap at first run, keep saying yes yes yes like a dumb windows user. but wait, if windows asks u that "uTorrent.exe wants to access internet/network/ bla bla bla, do you want to unblock this program?", unblock it. if u r using any other internet security (like norton n stuff), unblock that also.

3) now, u need to change certain settings in order to suck maximum data from internet. so follow me frns.

1) as u've already launched uTorrent.exe, go to options > preferences > general and make sure this options r checked.

Check for updates automatically
confirm when deleting torrent
show confirmation dialog on exit
close to tray
minimize to tray
always show tray icon

now, make sure following options r un-checked.

Check association on startup
start uTorrent on system startup

2) now go to options > preferences > connection

make sure Global Maximum Upload Rate is set to zero
make sure Global Maximum Download Rate is set to zero
make sure Alternate Upload Rate when not downloading is unchecked

3) now, go to options > preferences > BitTorrent

change all these values to 5000(five thousand)
-Global Maximum Number of connections
-Maximum number of connected peers per torrent
-Maximum number of slots per torrent

4) now, just in case ur pc is slow, do the following: go to options > preferences > Advanced > Disk Cache and make sure this two options are un-checked (first and the last)

Override automatic cache size and specify the size manually
increase automatic cache size when cache thrashing

now, u r ready to download thousands of GBs of movies, serials, videos, music, games, applications etc etc etc !!!

how to do that!?!? wait. so far, u were setting up a client to download stuff from a protocol called 'torrent'. now if u want to download something, u need to know in which all PCs it is available, that's it. just give this information to this torrent client n it'll pull the data for u. in order to tell him that where is it, u need to feed a torrent file to him. for example, u want to download a movie called The Namesake, just download the torrent file from here n open this file using uTorrent, it'll ask you where to save the data. just point the location where u want to store the movie and click ok! u'll see an entry in ur torrent, it should start downloading the movie in one or two mins.

now, from where to get latest movie/stuff torrents. so here is the best torrent directory: http://torrentspy.com/directory n u can browse thru a really really huuuuuuge collection of torrents. but wait, another advice. before digging into this collection, jus do urself a favour. go here, http://torrentspy.com/preferences.asp and do the following and submit preferences.

Page result size - 200 results per page
Sort results - Seeders
Use Detailed 2 line results - No
Exclude Zero Seeders - No

n ya, remember, when download is over, i mean, once u've 100% of the file, the client will start seeding it, at that time, u can just right click on that entry and "Remove torrent"

hmmmmmm. so before i come up with my understanding bout torrent, u can just have a look on wat-is-torrent stuff here

so, enjoy folks :P

they're just too complex !!!

2007-05-11T21:23:00.000+05:30

this post is here as a special request form one n only visitor of my blog.

1) How can they stand on high heels!!!

2) They spend a lot on outfits n in the end, they find that these so called outfits r not able to fit their 'huge volume' inside :P

3) Coming to outfits, less the area, more the cost !!! (n that's why generally u don't find any nude female around u coz goin by the same area-cost proportion, nude woman will have to spend infinite amount…!)

4) After the serious most accident, doesn't matter how important it is to check if it's bleeding anywhere or not, first action woman does is arrange the hair locks !!!

5) In rest of the situations, they just keep on doing that !

6) Woman is the most idiotic living entity in the ATM room !!! first, they waste half of the time in swiping the card in a wrong way, n then, waste rest of the time in entering wrong pin !!

7) They take too much time in bathroom…

8) They take almost the double of the bathroom-time to get ready

9) N after taking these much of time, they forget to take the car key

10) While coming back with the keys, they find that they've forgotten the purse :P

11) Coming to purse, they carry the thousands of things like the purse is a rescue package for some refugee camp !!!

12) A very interesting thing in this purse is the make up box. If u put all the varieties of powder together, u can easily paint an area of 5X5 square feet at least twice !!!

13) When they're in a huge group, they always walk in parallel on road; troubling all passers by.

14) There is more number of males than females in this world, n all females take the maximum benefit out of it, as per male, there's less than one female!!!

15) When guys smoke, it's bad habit, when they smoke, it's good for figure !!!

16) When they expose, it's all bout beauty. n when guys enjoy this 'beauty', they r slammed a tag of vulgar !!!

17) When guys dump girls, guys r called selfish. When girls dump guys, it's all bout moving forward n being practical !!!!

18) A woman is more idiotic on computer than she is in ATM room.

19) They check their faces thousand times in a mirror smaller than a palm of a cat, like their faces change at every second.

20) Even after doin this, they cant manage hot n sexy looks n they end up with despo lusty eyes. (don't take this too personal !!!)

21) They jus behave so girlish !!!

excuse me !!!

2007-05-09T13:49:00.000+05:30

here goes a list of cases/situations when formalities/etiquettes/customs become irritating. n ya, some answers to them from pissed off ppl :)

case 1: u're walking out of cafeteria, with a roar of dakkaaaaar in ur throat, with a hand on ur tummy n a feel good expression on ur face and an urge to smoke. someone comes to u n asks "Had lunch?"

ans: no, came to serve !!! it's my parttime (better, lunchtime) job !!!

case 2: it's 8 o'clock in morning. u're in parking or lift. walking to ur center/workplace with a sleepy face. someone meets u on the way n asks "u came early today?"

ans: no, i didnt go home at all. i'm working as a night watchman here!!!

case 3: u're banging ur head with some lines of code since like two hours. editing the same code again n again n pressing F5 to run it. again n again u're getting the same errors n u're feeling frustrated. someone comes to u n asks "ur code is not working?"

ans: no man, it's working fine. was jus checking wat happens if i press F5 with left thumb and right thumb one by one !!!!!!!!!!

case 4: someone calls u at 3 o'clock, u get up n try to understand it's not ringing in ur dream, but it's ringing in the reality. u take the call. person at the other end asks u "sorry, were u sleeping?"

ans: no, i was learning some tricks on how to fuck a donkey !!! can u help me with it !!!

case 5: coming back to hoggin again, u're on dining table in cafeteria, ur dish is full of stuff. u're taking them one by one n putting in ur mouth n chewing it. someone comes to u n asks "started eating?"

ans: no buddy, i m jus doing chemical analysis of this food !!! will spit it out after some time. !!!!

case 6: u're in cinema hall. in the interval someone meets u in the hall, asks u "came to watch movie?"

ans: no, i lost my kids here in last show, so came again... did u see them?!!?!?!?

case 7: ur google talk status shows red mark, someone pings u asks "r u busy?"

ans: no man, not at all. see, my status is also green. it's jus u're colorblind !!!

case 8: u're in smoking zone, with an active sutta in ur hand, making clouds of smoke around ur face, someone asks "smoking, ha ?"

ans: no, i run on diesel engine, my mouth is the exhaust !!!

case 9: u're focusing on text in some book, trying to understand wat the author wants to say, u've deeply dived into the story, someone comes n asks "reading book?"

ans: no, i m jus trying to figure out how much area is covered by the text n the white background on these pages !!!

case 10: u're driving on road, on ur bike. u stop at a signal, ur colleague who was following u from behind, stops next to u. n asks u "u r coming on bike?"

ans: no man, i was walking on my foot. this bike automatically came n got stuck between my legs. can u help me in pulling it out!!!!

cant think of anymore, though, there're a lot. may be, u can add some.

A fucking theory !!!

2007-05-08T19:49:00.000+05:30

this post is here on a special demand in addition to this post . anyway, it's copy paste from somewhere else, but it's a nice read.

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colourful words in the english language is the word "fuck." It is the one magical word which by just its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.

"Fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as verb both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck), or a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), or a noun (Mary is a fine fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). It should be obvious now that there are not many words as versatile as "fuck."

Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations:

Fraud: I got fucked by my insurance agent.
Dismay: Oh, fuck it!
Problem: I guess I'm fucked now.
Aggression: Fuck you.
Passive: Fuck me.
Confusion: What the fuck?
Difficulty: I can't understand this fucking business.
Despair: Fucked again.
Philosophical: Who gives a fuck?
Religious: Holy Fuck.
Incompetence: He's all fucked up.
Laziness: He just fucks about.
Displeasure: What the fuck is going on?
Rebellion: Fuck off!
Surprise: Fucking Incredible!

It can be used in descriptive anatomy - He's a fucking a$$h0le.

It can be used to tell time - It's five fucking thirty.

It can be used in business - How did I get this fucking job?

It can be a prediction - Oh, will I get fucked.

It can have maternal connotations - as in "Mother Fucker."

It can be nautical - Fuck the Admiral.

It can be political - Fuck Reagan.

It can open the door to wonderful relationships - "let's fuck."

It can be used to enhance the meaning of a word - as in Beautifuckingful, Terfuckingific or Absofuckinglutely.

The mind is fairly boggled at the many many creative uses. How could anyone be offended when you say "fuck?" Use it in your daily speech! It adds to your prestige.

Today tell someone "Fuck You."

btw, to add more... jus one open question. why the language doesnt become vulgar when u use fuck. translate the same thing in hindi n use it that frequently n see ppl's reaction... "how disgusting!!!" n use fuck, "oh, she's too forward and open minded!!!" wtf !!!

I'm fine. how r u ?!?!!!!

2007-05-08T15:51:00.001+05:30

how the hell one can think of asking someone "Hi, how r u?" when they dont care bout answer! i mean, it's not like that they dont care bout the answer, but there's nothin that they can do bout it.

ppl ask this so obviously - "Hi, how r u?" any random guy, who hardly knows ur full name, meets u on the way n - "hey buddy, wassup. how u doing?!" bloody ppl call from thousand kms n ask - "howz the job goin?"

i m not fine!!!! wat will u do bout it? the code i wrote is not working, will u debug it? server has crashed, will u arrange the back up? i'm tired with my job. will u get me a new job? i m bored with food. will u cook something new for me? i need a new apartment. will get me one? i want to go home. will u do work for me? i've broken my leg. will u give me urs? i've to wash my bike, will u do it for me? will u clean my room? will u go to pay my electricity bill? will u iron my shirts for next week? will u meet my doctor for me? will u book my tickets? i want to meet someone from a long time who doesnt want to see my face at all!!! can u do something bout it? i m missing all my frns. will u put all of us together once again? nothing is working out. i'm jus too bored with life. will u keep ur life aside n take care of some entertainment in my life?

if ur answers r "no", then why the fuck u keep on asking How r u!!!!?!?!? jus stay away from my life!!!

but still, with a smile, u'll answer - "i'm fine. doing well. how bout u?" doesnt matter how much pain is there in ur ass!!!

may be, i m jus too pissed. loggin off. bbye

Straight Effects of Smoking !!!

2007-05-08T10:41:00.000+05:30

no no no. it's not bout screwing ur lungs. neither it's bout cancer. i wanna talk bout something else.

Effect 1: each sutta comes with a mint of 50 paise. (added cost)

Effect 2: again, u need to wash ur hands with crap liquid soap which spoils ur skin :P

Effect 3: u have to share ur mint with ur cubicle mate.

Effect 4: sometimes u need to share ur fags with someone... that's like guy-to-guy or guy-to-girl or girl-to-guy or girl-to-girl smooch !!!

Effect 5: u leave a bad impression... (u know, he smokes. yuuuuuuuuuuuuuk...)

Effect 6: u need to walk till the smoking zone for like 6-8 times a day.

Effect 7: u need to come back to ur workplace after that !!!

Effect 8: thousands of ppl will come to u n ask for lighter !

Effect 9: when u need a lighter, nobody has it !!!

Effect 10: ash falls in ur eyes n ur lens gets screwed!!! (added cost of lens) :(

Effect 11: half of the sutta is wasted when u smoke while driving. (ineffective use)

Effect 12: u cant smoke while bathing !!!

Effect 13: by mistake, u light ur sutta from the butt only when it's a last fag u have in stock n it's 4 o'clock in morning n all roadside "sutte ki dukaan" r closed.

Effect 14: it makes u waste half of the sutta when u're fagging n someone calls u.

Effect 15: n as u couldnt enjoy half of the fag, u'll go for another one (added cost)

Effect 16: u cant disclose ur budget on fags to ur parents. so this 2000 rupees is always hidden cost!!!

Effect 17: lot of smoker friends of urs will never carry even a single fag when u've bought a new pack !

Effect 18: u cant smoke when u're wearing a helmet. (two options here: 1, u'll stop by and have a fag n then go on; that wastes ur time. 2, u dont wear a helmet, that is risk of ur life!)

Effect 19: bloody no smoker can shit (i mean, the literal meaning of shit) without fag!!! so everytime u shit, u spoil one fag.

Effect 20: u need a room freshener, in order to clean up all evidences that u've jus shitted!!! (i m not sure bout the grammatical correctness of shitted, anyway, who cares, jus shit !!! )

Effect 21: check ur finger-tips, half of them r burnt!!!

Effect 22: now, count the shirts u spoiled by drilling a hole into them !!!

Effect 23: u spoil ur 2000 rupees lee cooper shoes by crushing dead fag's butt which is not even worth 20 paise!!!

so, here were some straight effects of smoking. if i'll observe some more, i'll post it. till then, have a break, have a fag :)

Shit Happens, Always !!!

2007-05-03T10:49:00.001+05:30

so, this is how it all started. some days back, i got new shoes. This time, i went for lee cooper shoes/Rs. 2300 as i had got fresh stock waiting for me in my bank account; the month end salary :)

so i started off in my new shoes to office, met one colleague in parking.

colleague: hey good morning!!! new shoes ha?!!?!?!
me: ??!?!?!?!?!??!?!? are you asking or informing?
colleague: which brand man?
me: lee cooper
colleague: cool man. enjoying ha...
me: ?!?!?!!?!?

this was in parking. now, again in lift.

colleague two: hey man, nice shoes. seems pretty expensive
me: (i was like... no man, it jus seems, it's not at all. infact, it's second hand.!!!) ya, not much though. jus wanted to spend some on myself.
colleague two: ya, so how was b'day? u bought shoes urself or someone gifted?

(again, i was like, havent u ever seen anybody standing on new shoes before...!!!!)

then again after lunch.

my manager: hey, lucky man. ur girlfrn gave u a pretty expensive gift.
me: (who? who's my girlfrn?!?!?! wat she gifted? it didnt reach me yet!!!! plz tell me where's it?) no, nothing like that. first i dont have any girlfrn, niether got any gift. wat r u talking about?
manager: ur shoes dood. looks stunning!!!!
me: hey, i bought it on my own. no gift wift.

again, in evening, while leaving from office.

colleague three: hey, from where u got this shoes man. i also want to buy one for me.
me: (fuck, not again!!!) bought it from C-5.
colleague: hmm, so come with me sometime. u'd be able to choose good one for me.
me: (fuck off!!!) ok, sure.

finally, was bit pissed thru the way, coz of heavy traffic. bloody it took one hour to reach home. parked my bike, opened the door. was removin my shoes thinking will never wear this again in office, n suddenly i spotted the reason why everyone was pullin me in office...!!!! n it was...

bloody i had forgotten to remove the price tag !!! bullshit...!!!

some moments with myself

2007-04-28T23:56:00.002+05:30

So, finally the day had arrived. Ppl wished, n I said thanks. N had a great time with myself, doing most obvious work one lonely person can do with himself; explore urself. Looked back to the years, thought of from where I had started and where I m right now. Wat I was supposed to do and wat I m doing. Wat I have been trying for and wat I have got. N from there, one thought comes, wat I have done for the others and wat others have done for me. Here, u've have two choices, either u expect the others to do something, or u don't. and again, in both the cases, considering two options that they do something for you or they don't; there are four possible combinations. U don't expect and u get, u don't expect and u don't get, u expect and u get, u expect and u don't get. so out of these four cases, there's only one case which can make u happy; that is; u don't expect someone to do something for u, n still he/she does… that's called a real surprise!!! Otherwise, u don't expect and u don't get doesn't make a difference. U expect and u get, nothing new in that. And u expect and u don't get, nothing worse than that!!!! Ya, so where were we? Wat I've got and wat I've not. So, wat I've got: nothing; wat I've not got: something that I wanted. Same usual case like any other person on the earth, after all, this is wat we all are living for; the something. Everyone is running behind something, but nobody knows wat is it; it's jus something! U're in office, u want to go home. U come to home, u're getting bored, u want to go office. U're bored with food, u're bored with daily life u're with usual movies music internet everything. Though, these things r something u cant live without, but u need more and more things so that u can switch between them very frequently; jus to kill boredom.

Sometimes, it sounds so funny, how can someone talk to himself. It's like, dividing urself into two different personalities, one is in favour of u, the other is just not. Now, let this two guys fight ur case. One will say whatever u've done is right. Other will say stop it right there. One will ask u to take a path which satisfies ur emotional needs, one will give u quantitative analysis of ur actions. N great but unnoticed thing bout this fight is; in the end, u will shut both guys up, stay where u r, n jus drag ur life with the same stuff everyday. We never listen to anybody, all we need is, some excuse to complete another day of life. Very rare ppl live because they know time's never gonna come back. Rest all, live because they've got to live.

Anyway, enough crapping. ciya, and hmmm, happy b'day myself!

hope

2007-02-20T20:07:00.001+05:30

Dil e khwaish hai kal fir wahi baat ho,
safar ke kisi mod pe aap se fir mulakaat ho...

Na koi jawab ho na koi sawalaat ho,
ek bas wahi pyaar ki barsaat ho...

Aaj bhi rasta dekh ke bethi hai ye aankhe,
bhale hi intezaar ke janam saat ho...

Aapke saath guzare ek pal ke badle,
aapke naam mera har din, meri har raat ho...

i spectate

2007-02-20T19:58:00.001+05:30

i spectate the crowd left behind me,
i spectate the crowd left me behind.
darkness has come to fill the void,
where's my shadow, too hard to find.

i look for a hook in every rope,
though i know this rope doesn't have hope.
weaving my cerement with the rope of hope,
cant see the death, shroud makes me feel like a blind.

still rings in my head echo of their shout,
by meanings of them sweet memories are brought.
bitter taste this sweets have caught,
pushing me into the life everytime i died.

guiding a blind eye, pointing to a vision,
whisper in a deaf ear, is like her mission.
it's so hard to find an escape,
the flames of love, have become a fire wild.

Ek adhuri Kavita

2007-02-20T15:03:00.001+05:30

mera adhura jeevan, uski adhuri kahaani
meri adhuri kaveeta, mere adhurepan ki nishaani

adhkhuli aankho ke adhure sapne, adhuri khwahishe adhuri chaahate
adhure se khel mere adhure bachpan ke, adhure se safar pe ye adhuri jawaani

adhuri kshitij ko uljhaati adhuri dishaaye, gujare haalat se uljhaa mera adhura kal
adhure sooraj sa roshan mera adhura bhavishya, adhure aaj mein dhoondhata ek adhuri muskaan suhaani

adhure rishto ki adhuri si khushiya, adhure se log adhure se hum
maut ki mohabbat bhi hai adhuri, zindagi se yehi ek shikaayat hai puraani

duniya mein kitne aise adhure jeevan, har jeevan ki aisi kitni adhuri kahani
usme meri bhi ek adhuri kaveeta, usme meri bhi ek adhuri kahaani